Uncle David

It is 2:30 a.m. and an hour ago I got a call from the Los Angeles Coroner that my Uncle David has died from a self inflicted gun shot wound. When the sun comes up, I have the duty to call my Mother and tell her that her only brother is gone.

I am actually not surprised at his death, although I thought it would have happened a long time ago and his death would have been from asphyxiation from alcohol. My Uncle has been an alcoholic for most of his adult life. I have not seen my Uncle since my Grandma's funeral in May of 1998. My only solid memory of my Uncle David is that on a rare occasion he would show up on Christmas Day with lottery scratchers and a six pack of beer. After awhile the beer finally kept him from everyone and everything. My Mother kept in touch with him on a regular basis, but it is difficult to communicate with a drunk.


What can I say about my Uncle's life that will help someone out there? He is an example of what not to do. He lived his life very bitter over a relationship that went sour in his late 20's. He married another woman, but that ended in divorce in his 30's. I don't know his age today, but I think he was around 72. David made bad choices, but the biggest one was to drown his sorrows with beer, which produced more problems, which caused more bitterness. He always had a wall up between himself and family who wanted to be there to help. I feel sad that I finally accepted the wall and stopped trying to contact him other than our Christmas card every year. He went off my radar, but I am sure he was never off of God's radar.

Wasted time. That is what I think of my Uncles life. He wasted all of his life blaming others for the trials that came his way, and he could never move forward and beyond life's disappointments. He only had this one chance on earth, and it is gone. I am sure that David never lived the life that God had mapped out for him. I wonder if David had the opportunity before God to see that if he had picked a different path, he would have had unfathomable blessings throughout his life.

This world will always have pain. Sometimes it is from our own decisions, but sometimes it comes from other's decisions. When those trials come, do you shake an angry fist at God, or do you let Him be your comforter and hope? God is always inviting us to turn to Him. God is not against us. His entire reason for creating us is that we might have meaningful lives. You will never find your meaning without God, and sometimes we have to endure trials to find our purpose.

David's suicide note said, "I am tired of the pain. I am broke all the time. If I die I won't feel the pain."

What has me numb and sick inside is that I don't know if David ever knew Jesus and accepted Him into his heart. If David died without insurance from heaven, then he just sent himself into a life of pain even worse that what he faced here on earth. If you are void of God on earth, then by choice you are forever separated from him in the afterlife. The definition of Hell is eternal separation from God. The decision about where you spend eternity is made while you are here on earth. If you insist on being in control of your life, then you just traded eternal tomorrow for the fleeting moments of today.

God has given us all an invitation to be with him through his son Jesus. There is no greater love that what God has done for us by sending us His own Son to pay the price for our sin so that we can be in God's presence.

God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16


The Bible's message is that God loves us and wants to have a relationship with us. God sent His Son, Jesus, to live among us, be crucified as a sacrifice for our sins, and to raise from the dead so that death no longer becomes the final answer to life. This is the centerpiece of Christianity. Some want to say that Jesus was just a good and moral teacher. Jesus did not give the option to accept Him as a moral teacher. We either accept Him as the Son of God, or reject Him altogether.

Jesus claimed to be the Son of God. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse." C.S. Lewis' book Mere Christianity

True Christianity is living with a personal relationship with Christ. Christianity offers a loving God who reaches out to redeem humanity. God is Holy beyond our comprehension and can't be in the presence of sin. Jesus bridged the gap by offering himself as a pure sacrifice for our sins. Jesus' crucifixion was God's idea, NOT the Roman Soldiers or the Jewish Leaders. It was NOT forced upon Jesus. He willingly chose it.


When we acknowledge Jesus as our Savior, our hearts begin to change. We relate to others differently. We see ourselves differently. God gives us His peace and joy. We realize we are valuable and loved by the God who created us. We realize that the God who loves us would do anything to get our attention, and so He sent his Son. How do you get God's promises and blessings? By saying this simple prayer:

Dear Heavenly Father, I admit that I am a sinner and that I need your forgiveness. I am sorry for my sins. I need Jesus as my Savior and I want to accept Him into my life. Please wash me with the blood of Christ. I believe you died on the cross in order to give me forgiveness for my sins and eternal life with You. I receive that gift of salvation today. I will respond to Your great love by lifting You up in praise continually, and loving You with all my heart forever. Thank you for hearing my prayer. Amen.

If you have never prayed that prayer before, then you have just become a new member in the family of God and you have a great inheritance! God promises that when we pray this prayer, and mean it with our hearts, nothing will separate us from Him. Romans 8:31-39 says that we are more than conquerors through Jesus who loves us, and that death, nor life, nor demons, nor height, nor depth, nor anything in all creation can separate us from the love of God when we are His.


If you pray the above prayer, will life suddenly get easier? Not necessarily, but the difference will be that God is there to help. With God, you can have a deep inner peace and assurance that He can work all things for His good. Part of growing this new relationship is prayer, reading God's Word, and fellowship with other believers. Find a church family to help you to grow a deeper relationship with Christ.

Jesus asked, "What will profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul?" Mark 8:36

Death is an absolute certainty. My Uncle wrote a story of his life and signed his own name at the end of the last chapter. We all need to think about the story we are writing with our lives, and what difference we are making while we are on this earth. The decision to accept Jesus will determine where you spend eternity. Let Him be the one to write His name on the last chapter of your life. You will never be sorry!

Blessing to all,
Sandy

Sometimes I Cry

A couple of weeks ago I had a melt down. It was in the morning, and after my 50th seminar on "How to Change the Toilet Paper Roll", that I started crying and could not stop. I had band-aids to strip off, my hair was clogging the drain, and I looked in the mirror and could not decide if I looked more like Phyllis Diller or Christopher Loyd! I don't allow myself to cry too often, because when I do get going, I can't stop.

Sometimes you just have to let yourself cry and get it out of your system. It's O.K. to cry. I cried all the way to Starbucks and ordered a Grande White Chocolate Mocha on ice with whipped cream. There is nothing like sugar and caffeine to perk you up! What really helped that day was that I had Bible Study to go to, and I knew that being in God's Word was going to be the best thing I did all day. Not only was it the lift I needed, but God used my dear friend, Cindy, to be the encourager I needed that morning. I also have a wonderful husband (he knows how to change paper rolls), who is my biggest support and tells me I am beautiful when I don't feel it myself.

Jesus Wept. John 11:35

Isn't it profound that the shortest verse in the Bible is about Jesus crying? That means the world to me. Jesus felt such strong emotion over the loss of a friend that he wept. When we experience loss (any loss), it is healthy for us to let out the emotion and cry.

I am often told by people that they are amazed at my strength. I can't take any credit other than being obedient to what God has called me to do. When I have those very human moments of sadness, I am thankful that it is God who lifts me up and puts me in His lap and comforts me. I would not have had the strength to make it this far (almost three years) without knowing God's promises and that everything good that happens in my life is because of His deep love and compassion for me.

What I am going through is nothing compared to what Jeremiah was facing when he wrote Lamentations. Jerusalem was in ruins, and there was not much of a future for the Israelites. Jeremiah wrote a lament about the city and the people that was filled with raw emotion. There was no worship, just deep agony and sorrow. Jeremiah wrote this:

Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him! Lamentations 2:19

We can pour out our pain to the Lord. God does not want us to hold anything back. He collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8) and He want to comfort us. If you are looking for peace, remember this promise:

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassion never fails. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." Lamentations 3:22,24

Heavenly Father, thank you for helping me through the
most difficult areas of my life. Thank you for your
compassion that never fails. You give the best hugs,
and your peace surpasses all understanding.

Love,
Sandy

I Have a Hope

I am on my third week of my second cycle of chemo. Up until this week, I have not had chemo two weeks in a row due to my white blood count being too low. Now, I am receiving shots three times a week to keep my counts up. I had chemo last week and this past Tuesday, and it has not been as bad as I thought. There has been bone pain, but not severe. Next week is my off week, but I have scans on Tuesday. It will be interesting to see what the cancer has done in the past two months. I am hoping the chemo has at least held the cancer, since I had to skip a few treatments. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I have hope that God is hearing our prayers, and powerful things will come out of this.

On Sunday we sang this jazzy song, and I just love the words. I highly recommend downloading it. Here is part of the song.

I Have a Hope
By: Tommy Walker

I have a hope
I have a future
I have a destiny that is yet awaiting me
My life's not over, a new beginning just begun
I have a hope, I have this hope

God as a plan
It's not to harm me
But it's to prosper me, and to hear me when I call
He intercedes for me, working all things for my good
Though trials may come, I have this hope.

Chorus
I will praise Him, my great readeemer
I will stand up and give Him glory in my life
He takes my darkness, and he turns it into light
I will yet praise him with my life.


I truly do have a hope that God is working behind the scenes to make my fight with cancer one that will make a difference in the lives of those around me. I know that cancer has brought me closer to God. When you have a relationship with Christ, you have the promise of hope that He will work all things to the good if you put your trust in him. Romans 8:28

Hoping for Miracles,
Sandy

A Shield of Faith

Are you in a battle today? It seems like there is always some kind of battle going on. Sometimes it feels like arrows are coming from all directions. Imagine having a huge shield, and when you stand behind it all of the arrows are deflected. The Bible talks about a huge shield, and it is the shield of faith.

Put on the armour of God so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil...take up the shield of faith, which can quench all the darts of the evil one. Ephesians 6:10-20

When we are being attacked by disease, hostility, anxiety, depression... it is good to remember that the devil is the enemy behind these attacks. He has no mercy. He wants us to feel defeated and separated from God. The only way to deflect these feelings is through an ongoing relationship and dialog with God. The Word of God and prayer are the biggest weapons we have to keep us from being overwhelmed with darkness. We have never been told in God's Word that we won't be attacked, so be ready!

Faith is being sure of the things hoped for, and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

Faith does not come by going to church once a week and throwing money in the offering plate. We need to get beyond religion and get into a relationship. There is a good amount of people today who say, "I am Presbyterian, I am Catholic..." The truth is, it does not matter in God's Word what denomination you are. Jesus came to call us all out of our pews and be more than a religion. Faith is no good if you don't know how to release it, and you won't know how to release it by falling back on church rituals. Faith comes by an intimate relationship with God, and the knowledge that he can turn all things around for His glory.

The Bible is full of stories of people living out faith. From the Old Testament to the New Testament, it took faith in the unseen to rise above their trials and live in hope that God would do the impossible through any situation. We all have faith that a chair will hold us up, but faith in God to hold us up when given bad news is the most powerful kind of faith you can have. It does not come from being a particular religion, it comes from knowledge of God's promises in His Word.

For me, the darts that come at me are mostly fear driven. When I get a new diagnosis, or facing scans, I take on some darts of fear. Eventually I remember my shield of faith, and the fear is deflected by God's promises of hope and strength. I can't begin to express my gratitude that God wants to be my protector!

If you have darts flying at you, go to God's Word and look up the word "Faith" in your concordance. You will see numerous verses that should encourage you and help you to put on that shield of faith that is your inheritance in knowing Christ as your Savior.

Pastor Jim used a beautiful illustration this past Sunday of what happens when we are stuck on a cliff and can't go back down, and we can't climb up. God sends in a helicoptor and Jesus is lowered down on a line to get you. Your only choice is to let Him grab you and hold on to you and bring you up to safety. His powerful embrace is what keeps you from falling to your death, and He does all the work. Give it all over to Jesus, He is mighty to save!

Shielded by Faith,
Sandy

Walk for Hope 2009

From start to finish, Sunday was a day to think about what it would be like if a cure was found for breast cancer. Our family started the day with a pancake breakfast for the Girl Scout Troop and La Verne Resident Walkers. We headed over to City of Hope and met up with family and friends who were there to support us and others they know with breast cancer. The walkers included, Jon's cousins, my bible study buddies, long time friends, and my fabulous "Mrs. B's Junior Mints." We walked the entire 5K, and crossed the finish line. It was fun!

My Junior Girl Scouts had an amazing offer presented to them while at the walk. They were offered the opportunity to see a benefit concert for City of Hope that very night in Los Angeles. We did a quick turn around (I managed a 20 minute nap), and our group headed down to the Nokia Theatre where we had wonderful seats. We got to see Demi Lavato, Jesse McCartney, and Miley Cirus perform. Between performers, there were beautiful videos talking about the amazing things that happen at City of Hope. It was a proud, but surreal, feeling to see the campus and know that I have walked those halls every month for the past two years. With all the awareness, we have to be close to a cure!

Thank you to everyone who have saved pink lids (Yoplait), purchased pink labeled items at the store, and made donations this month. Who would have ever guessed that October would become Breast Cancer Month?

All my sisters in this fight are grateful,
Sandy

Dig Pink

Tuesday night I was invited to attend the Bonita vs. Walnut varsity volleyball game that was dedicated to women who fight breast cancer. I was honored to attend the event, and especially honored that one of the star players invited me. It was a vision of pink everywhere you looked. The high school guys looked especially handsome in their bright pink t-shirts. It was very impressive to see such amazing support by our youth.

I was especially proud of the young woman, Allie LaPierre, who was instrumental in organizing this event through the Side-Out Foundation. The match was called "Dig Pink", and the Bonita Girls Volleyball raised $2,000 last night! It absolutely warmed my heart that so many young adults would step out of their world, and look at a cause with such compassion. When they asked everyone to stand up that knows a woman with breast cancer, there was nobody sitting.

This amazing act of kindness that I saw last night is really a call that is made over and over in the Bible. We need to look beyond ourselves and be ready to make a difference. Sometimes making a difference can be overwhelming. How can we make a dent in something so huge? I think it starts small with a lemonade stand for Tsunami Victims. It grows with each step at a Walk for Hope. The money raised last night may be just the thing to help some researcher somewhere crack the code of why breast cancer is an epidemic across the world.

Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:4

Love is an action word. It is God's desire for us to take action and show His love to others. If we could all do small acts of kindness, just think about what kind of world we would have. You might want to pray that God prompts your heart in a way that you will feel led to make a difference somewhere.

Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. 1John 4:7,8

With Love,
Sandy
P.S. A quick update - I was to start my second round of chemo yesterday, but my white blood cells were too low. I am having to do the Neuprogen shots 3x a week, every week (instead of only two weeks). The hair loss has slowed to around a dozen in the morning. Thankfully, the shots are being delivered to my house. Lori Hollar is helping me out, and there are many other wonderful nurse friends available.

When You are Overwhelmed

Have you ever been given horrible news and you are immediately overwhelmed with grief, fear, or anxiety? It is helpful to know that King David went through the same thing and wrote about it in Psalm 61. He wrote these beautiful words:

Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to thee, when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I; for thou art my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Psalm 61:1-3

A few weeks ago, I posted a website http://www.prayfordaisy.tumblr.com/ because I was especially touched by the message that Pastor Britt Merrick preached on the Sunday after learning his daughter can a large tumor. Pastor Britt asked, "where does your mind go when you need to process bad news?"

If you are a Christian, your mind goes to Jesus. You don't need to force yourself to remember scripture; it indwells in you. Knowing that there is a power stronger and loving gives immediate strength and comfort. Knowing God's character and love protects you from the enemy, who wants you to suffer greatly in whatever trial you are in. Satan has no mercy, sympathy or compassion. He wants you to immediately curse God. God gave us His Word so that we don't have to go there, we just know.

This is my comfort, your promises preserve my life. Psalm 119:50

This verse was one that saved my life. When I was faced with cancer, I was full of anxiety and fear. On the night of my diagnosis, the first thing that Jon and I did together (after putting the girls to bed) was to lay next to each other and pray. God's Word was so ingrained in our hearts, we knew that we had to go to God with our fear. We knew that there was nothing greater than God's power and love. We did not question God's love, we took comfort in it.

Another reason to know God's Word is that you have the truth planted in your heart so that you don't need to ask "Why." God's Word does not answer the "Why" question. God's Word says that we must not lean on our own understanding. His ways are not our ways. We can be sure of one thing, if we seek Him, we will find Him.

O God, thou art my God, I seek thee, my soul thirsts for thee; my flesh faints for thee. as in a dry and weary land where no water is. Because thy steadfast love is better then life, my lips will praise thee. I will bless thee as long as I live; I will lift up my hands and call on thy name.
Psalm 63:1-4

Is Jesus the first person you go to when life gets hard? I hope you know that the Word of God is a source of strength, and a love song to you, from a God that knitted you in your Mother's Womb. He does not promise the road will be easy, but He does promise He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)

God Bless,
Sandy