A couple of weeks ago I had a melt down. It was in the morning, and after my 50th seminar on "How to Change the Toilet Paper Roll", that I started crying and could not stop. I had band-aids to strip off, my hair was clogging the drain, and I looked in the mirror and could not decide if I looked more like Phyllis Diller or Christopher Loyd! I don't allow myself to cry too often, because when I do get going, I can't stop.
Sometimes you just have to let yourself cry and get it out of your system. It's O.K. to cry. I cried all the way to Starbucks and ordered a Grande White Chocolate Mocha on ice with whipped cream. There is nothing like sugar and caffeine to perk you up! What really helped that day was that I had Bible Study to go to, and I knew that being in God's Word was going to be the best thing I did all day. Not only was it the lift I needed, but God used my dear friend, Cindy, to be the encourager I needed that morning. I also have a wonderful husband (he knows how to change paper rolls), who is my biggest support and tells me I am beautiful when I don't feel it myself.
Jesus Wept. John 11:35
Isn't it profound that the shortest verse in the Bible is about Jesus crying? That means the world to me. Jesus felt such strong emotion over the loss of a friend that he wept. When we experience loss (any loss), it is healthy for us to let out the emotion and cry.
I am often told by people that they are amazed at my strength. I can't take any credit other than being obedient to what God has called me to do. When I have those very human moments of sadness, I am thankful that it is God who lifts me up and puts me in His lap and comforts me. I would not have had the strength to make it this far (almost three years) without knowing God's promises and that everything good that happens in my life is because of His deep love and compassion for me.
What I am going through is nothing compared to what Jeremiah was facing when he wrote Lamentations. Jerusalem was in ruins, and there was not much of a future for the Israelites. Jeremiah wrote a lament about the city and the people that was filled with raw emotion. There was no worship, just deep agony and sorrow. Jeremiah wrote this:
Arise, cry out in the night, as the watches of the night begin; pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord. Lift up your hands to him! Lamentations 2:19
We can pour out our pain to the Lord. God does not want us to hold anything back. He collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8) and He want to comfort us. If you are looking for peace, remember this promise:
Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassion never fails. They are new every morning; great is thy faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for Him." Lamentations 3:22,24
Heavenly Father, thank you for helping me through the
most difficult areas of my life. Thank you for your
compassion that never fails. You give the best hugs,
and your peace surpasses all understanding.
Love,
Sandy
Monday, November 9, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I Have a Hope
I am on my third week of my second cycle of chemo. Up until this week, I have not had chemo two weeks in a row due to my white blood count being too low. Now, I am receiving shots three times a week to keep my counts up. I had chemo last week and this past Tuesday, and it has not been as bad as I thought. There has been bone pain, but not severe. Next week is my off week, but I have scans on Tuesday. It will be interesting to see what the cancer has done in the past two months. I am hoping the chemo has at least held the cancer, since I had to skip a few treatments. Thank you for keeping me in your prayers. I have hope that God is hearing our prayers, and powerful things will come out of this.
On Sunday we sang this jazzy song, and I just love the words. I highly recommend downloading it. Here is part of the song.
I Have a Hope
By: Tommy Walker
I have a hope
I have a future
I have a destiny that is yet awaiting me
My life's not over, a new beginning just begun
I have a hope, I have this hope
God as a plan
It's not to harm me
But it's to prosper me, and to hear me when I call
He intercedes for me, working all things for my good
Though trials may come, I have this hope.
Chorus
I will praise Him, my great readeemer
I will stand up and give Him glory in my life
He takes my darkness, and he turns it into light
I will yet praise him with my life.
I truly do have a hope that God is working behind the scenes to make my fight with cancer one that will make a difference in the lives of those around me. I know that cancer has brought me closer to God. When you have a relationship with Christ, you have the promise of hope that He will work all things to the good if you put your trust in him. Romans 8:28
Hoping for Miracles,
Sandy
On Sunday we sang this jazzy song, and I just love the words. I highly recommend downloading it. Here is part of the song.
I Have a Hope
By: Tommy Walker
I have a hope
I have a future
I have a destiny that is yet awaiting me
My life's not over, a new beginning just begun
I have a hope, I have this hope
God as a plan
It's not to harm me
But it's to prosper me, and to hear me when I call
He intercedes for me, working all things for my good
Though trials may come, I have this hope.
Chorus
I will praise Him, my great readeemer
I will stand up and give Him glory in my life
He takes my darkness, and he turns it into light
I will yet praise him with my life.
I truly do have a hope that God is working behind the scenes to make my fight with cancer one that will make a difference in the lives of those around me. I know that cancer has brought me closer to God. When you have a relationship with Christ, you have the promise of hope that He will work all things to the good if you put your trust in him. Romans 8:28
Hoping for Miracles,
Sandy
Sunday, November 1, 2009
A Shield of Faith
Are you in a battle today? It seems like there is always some kind of battle going on. Sometimes it feels like arrows are coming from all directions. Imagine having a huge shield, and when you stand behind it all of the arrows are deflected. The Bible talks about a huge shield, and it is the shield of faith.
Put on the armour of God so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil...take up the shield of faith, which can quench all the darts of the evil one. Ephesians 6:10-20
When we are being attacked by disease, hostility, anxiety, depression... it is good to remember that the devil is the enemy behind these attacks. He has no mercy. He wants us to feel defeated and separated from God. The only way to deflect these feelings is through an ongoing relationship and dialog with God. The Word of God and prayer are the biggest weapons we have to keep us from being overwhelmed with darkness. We have never been told in God's Word that we won't be attacked, so be ready!
Faith is being sure of the things hoped for, and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
Faith does not come by going to church once a week and throwing money in the offering plate. We need to get beyond religion and get into a relationship. There is a good amount of people today who say, "I am Presbyterian, I am Catholic..." The truth is, it does not matter in God's Word what denomination you are. Jesus came to call us all out of our pews and be more than a religion. Faith is no good if you don't know how to release it, and you won't know how to release it by falling back on church rituals. Faith comes by an intimate relationship with God, and the knowledge that he can turn all things around for His glory.
The Bible is full of stories of people living out faith. From the Old Testament to the New Testament, it took faith in the unseen to rise above their trials and live in hope that God would do the impossible through any situation. We all have faith that a chair will hold us up, but faith in God to hold us up when given bad news is the most powerful kind of faith you can have. It does not come from being a particular religion, it comes from knowledge of God's promises in His Word.
For me, the darts that come at me are mostly fear driven. When I get a new diagnosis, or facing scans, I take on some darts of fear. Eventually I remember my shield of faith, and the fear is deflected by God's promises of hope and strength. I can't begin to express my gratitude that God wants to be my protector!
If you have darts flying at you, go to God's Word and look up the word "Faith" in your concordance. You will see numerous verses that should encourage you and help you to put on that shield of faith that is your inheritance in knowing Christ as your Savior.
Pastor Jim used a beautiful illustration this past Sunday of what happens when we are stuck on a cliff and can't go back down, and we can't climb up. God sends in a helicoptor and Jesus is lowered down on a line to get you. Your only choice is to let Him grab you and hold on to you and bring you up to safety. His powerful embrace is what keeps you from falling to your death, and He does all the work. Give it all over to Jesus, He is mighty to save!
Shielded by Faith,
Sandy
Put on the armour of God so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil...take up the shield of faith, which can quench all the darts of the evil one. Ephesians 6:10-20
When we are being attacked by disease, hostility, anxiety, depression... it is good to remember that the devil is the enemy behind these attacks. He has no mercy. He wants us to feel defeated and separated from God. The only way to deflect these feelings is through an ongoing relationship and dialog with God. The Word of God and prayer are the biggest weapons we have to keep us from being overwhelmed with darkness. We have never been told in God's Word that we won't be attacked, so be ready!
Faith is being sure of the things hoped for, and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1
Faith does not come by going to church once a week and throwing money in the offering plate. We need to get beyond religion and get into a relationship. There is a good amount of people today who say, "I am Presbyterian, I am Catholic..." The truth is, it does not matter in God's Word what denomination you are. Jesus came to call us all out of our pews and be more than a religion. Faith is no good if you don't know how to release it, and you won't know how to release it by falling back on church rituals. Faith comes by an intimate relationship with God, and the knowledge that he can turn all things around for His glory.
The Bible is full of stories of people living out faith. From the Old Testament to the New Testament, it took faith in the unseen to rise above their trials and live in hope that God would do the impossible through any situation. We all have faith that a chair will hold us up, but faith in God to hold us up when given bad news is the most powerful kind of faith you can have. It does not come from being a particular religion, it comes from knowledge of God's promises in His Word.
For me, the darts that come at me are mostly fear driven. When I get a new diagnosis, or facing scans, I take on some darts of fear. Eventually I remember my shield of faith, and the fear is deflected by God's promises of hope and strength. I can't begin to express my gratitude that God wants to be my protector!
If you have darts flying at you, go to God's Word and look up the word "Faith" in your concordance. You will see numerous verses that should encourage you and help you to put on that shield of faith that is your inheritance in knowing Christ as your Savior.
Pastor Jim used a beautiful illustration this past Sunday of what happens when we are stuck on a cliff and can't go back down, and we can't climb up. God sends in a helicoptor and Jesus is lowered down on a line to get you. Your only choice is to let Him grab you and hold on to you and bring you up to safety. His powerful embrace is what keeps you from falling to your death, and He does all the work. Give it all over to Jesus, He is mighty to save!
Shielded by Faith,
Sandy
Monday, October 26, 2009
Walk for Hope 2009
From start to finish, Sunday was a day to think about what it would be like if a cure was found for breast cancer. Our family started the day with a pancake breakfast for the Girl Scout Troop and La Verne Resident Walkers. We headed over to City of Hope and met up with family and friends who were there to support us and others they know with breast cancer. The walkers included, Jon's cousins, my bible study buddies, long time friends, and my fabulous "Mrs. B's Junior Mints." We walked the entire 5K, and crossed the finish line. It was fun!
My Junior Girl Scouts had an amazing offer presented to them while at the walk. They were offered the opportunity to see a benefit concert for City of Hope that very night in Los Angeles. We did a quick turn around (I managed a 20 minute nap), and our group headed down to the Nokia Theatre where we had wonderful seats. We got to see Demi Lavato, Jesse McCartney, and Miley Cirus perform. Between performers, there were beautiful videos talking about the amazing things that happen at City of Hope. It was a proud, but surreal, feeling to see the campus and know that I have walked those halls every month for the past two years. With all the awareness, we have to be close to a cure!
Thank you to everyone who have saved pink lids (Yoplait), purchased pink labeled items at the store, and made donations this month. Who would have ever guessed that October would become Breast Cancer Month?
All my sisters in this fight are grateful,
Sandy
My Junior Girl Scouts had an amazing offer presented to them while at the walk. They were offered the opportunity to see a benefit concert for City of Hope that very night in Los Angeles. We did a quick turn around (I managed a 20 minute nap), and our group headed down to the Nokia Theatre where we had wonderful seats. We got to see Demi Lavato, Jesse McCartney, and Miley Cirus perform. Between performers, there were beautiful videos talking about the amazing things that happen at City of Hope. It was a proud, but surreal, feeling to see the campus and know that I have walked those halls every month for the past two years. With all the awareness, we have to be close to a cure!
Thank you to everyone who have saved pink lids (Yoplait), purchased pink labeled items at the store, and made donations this month. Who would have ever guessed that October would become Breast Cancer Month?
All my sisters in this fight are grateful,
Sandy
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Dig Pink
Tuesday night I was invited to attend the Bonita vs. Walnut varsity volleyball game that was dedicated to women who fight breast cancer. I was honored to attend the event, and especially honored that one of the star players invited me. It was a vision of pink everywhere you looked. The high school guys looked especially handsome in their bright pink t-shirts. It was very impressive to see such amazing support by our youth.
I was especially proud of the young woman, Allie LaPierre, who was instrumental in organizing this event through the Side-Out Foundation. The match was called "Dig Pink", and the Bonita Girls Volleyball raised $2,000 last night! It absolutely warmed my heart that so many young adults would step out of their world, and look at a cause with such compassion. When they asked everyone to stand up that knows a woman with breast cancer, there was nobody sitting.
This amazing act of kindness that I saw last night is really a call that is made over and over in the Bible. We need to look beyond ourselves and be ready to make a difference. Sometimes making a difference can be overwhelming. How can we make a dent in something so huge? I think it starts small with a lemonade stand for Tsunami Victims. It grows with each step at a Walk for Hope. The money raised last night may be just the thing to help some researcher somewhere crack the code of why breast cancer is an epidemic across the world.
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:4
Love is an action word. It is God's desire for us to take action and show His love to others. If we could all do small acts of kindness, just think about what kind of world we would have. You might want to pray that God prompts your heart in a way that you will feel led to make a difference somewhere.
Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. 1John 4:7,8
With Love,
Sandy
P.S. A quick update - I was to start my second round of chemo yesterday, but my white blood cells were too low. I am having to do the Neuprogen shots 3x a week, every week (instead of only two weeks). The hair loss has slowed to around a dozen in the morning. Thankfully, the shots are being delivered to my house. Lori Hollar is helping me out, and there are many other wonderful nurse friends available.
I was especially proud of the young woman, Allie LaPierre, who was instrumental in organizing this event through the Side-Out Foundation. The match was called "Dig Pink", and the Bonita Girls Volleyball raised $2,000 last night! It absolutely warmed my heart that so many young adults would step out of their world, and look at a cause with such compassion. When they asked everyone to stand up that knows a woman with breast cancer, there was nobody sitting.
This amazing act of kindness that I saw last night is really a call that is made over and over in the Bible. We need to look beyond ourselves and be ready to make a difference. Sometimes making a difference can be overwhelming. How can we make a dent in something so huge? I think it starts small with a lemonade stand for Tsunami Victims. It grows with each step at a Walk for Hope. The money raised last night may be just the thing to help some researcher somewhere crack the code of why breast cancer is an epidemic across the world.
Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.
Philippians 2:4
Love is an action word. It is God's desire for us to take action and show His love to others. If we could all do small acts of kindness, just think about what kind of world we would have. You might want to pray that God prompts your heart in a way that you will feel led to make a difference somewhere.
Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. 1John 4:7,8
With Love,
Sandy
P.S. A quick update - I was to start my second round of chemo yesterday, but my white blood cells were too low. I am having to do the Neuprogen shots 3x a week, every week (instead of only two weeks). The hair loss has slowed to around a dozen in the morning. Thankfully, the shots are being delivered to my house. Lori Hollar is helping me out, and there are many other wonderful nurse friends available.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
When You are Overwhelmed
Have you ever been given horrible news and you are immediately overwhelmed with grief, fear, or anxiety? It is helpful to know that King David went through the same thing and wrote about it in Psalm 61. He wrote these beautiful words:
Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to thee, when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I; for thou art my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Psalm 61:1-3
A few weeks ago, I posted a website http://www.prayfordaisy.tumblr.com/ because I was especially touched by the message that Pastor Britt Merrick preached on the Sunday after learning his daughter can a large tumor. Pastor Britt asked, "where does your mind go when you need to process bad news?"
If you are a Christian, your mind goes to Jesus. You don't need to force yourself to remember scripture; it indwells in you. Knowing that there is a power stronger and loving gives immediate strength and comfort. Knowing God's character and love protects you from the enemy, who wants you to suffer greatly in whatever trial you are in. Satan has no mercy, sympathy or compassion. He wants you to immediately curse God. God gave us His Word so that we don't have to go there, we just know.
This is my comfort, your promises preserve my life. Psalm 119:50
This verse was one that saved my life. When I was faced with cancer, I was full of anxiety and fear. On the night of my diagnosis, the first thing that Jon and I did together (after putting the girls to bed) was to lay next to each other and pray. God's Word was so ingrained in our hearts, we knew that we had to go to God with our fear. We knew that there was nothing greater than God's power and love. We did not question God's love, we took comfort in it.
Another reason to know God's Word is that you have the truth planted in your heart so that you don't need to ask "Why." God's Word does not answer the "Why" question. God's Word says that we must not lean on our own understanding. His ways are not our ways. We can be sure of one thing, if we seek Him, we will find Him.
O God, thou art my God, I seek thee, my soul thirsts for thee; my flesh faints for thee. as in a dry and weary land where no water is. Because thy steadfast love is better then life, my lips will praise thee. I will bless thee as long as I live; I will lift up my hands and call on thy name.
Psalm 63:1-4
Is Jesus the first person you go to when life gets hard? I hope you know that the Word of God is a source of strength, and a love song to you, from a God that knitted you in your Mother's Womb. He does not promise the road will be easy, but He does promise He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)
God Bless,
Sandy
Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to thee, when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I; for thou art my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy. Psalm 61:1-3
A few weeks ago, I posted a website http://www.prayfordaisy.tumblr.com/ because I was especially touched by the message that Pastor Britt Merrick preached on the Sunday after learning his daughter can a large tumor. Pastor Britt asked, "where does your mind go when you need to process bad news?"
If you are a Christian, your mind goes to Jesus. You don't need to force yourself to remember scripture; it indwells in you. Knowing that there is a power stronger and loving gives immediate strength and comfort. Knowing God's character and love protects you from the enemy, who wants you to suffer greatly in whatever trial you are in. Satan has no mercy, sympathy or compassion. He wants you to immediately curse God. God gave us His Word so that we don't have to go there, we just know.
This is my comfort, your promises preserve my life. Psalm 119:50
This verse was one that saved my life. When I was faced with cancer, I was full of anxiety and fear. On the night of my diagnosis, the first thing that Jon and I did together (after putting the girls to bed) was to lay next to each other and pray. God's Word was so ingrained in our hearts, we knew that we had to go to God with our fear. We knew that there was nothing greater than God's power and love. We did not question God's love, we took comfort in it.
Another reason to know God's Word is that you have the truth planted in your heart so that you don't need to ask "Why." God's Word does not answer the "Why" question. God's Word says that we must not lean on our own understanding. His ways are not our ways. We can be sure of one thing, if we seek Him, we will find Him.
O God, thou art my God, I seek thee, my soul thirsts for thee; my flesh faints for thee. as in a dry and weary land where no water is. Because thy steadfast love is better then life, my lips will praise thee. I will bless thee as long as I live; I will lift up my hands and call on thy name.
Psalm 63:1-4
Is Jesus the first person you go to when life gets hard? I hope you know that the Word of God is a source of strength, and a love song to you, from a God that knitted you in your Mother's Womb. He does not promise the road will be easy, but He does promise He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5)
God Bless,
Sandy
Thursday, October 15, 2009
How Do We Live a Holy Life?
Genkirk Devotional
Author: Unknown
How do we live a holy life? Not by trying to do it on our own strength. No, it is only when we come to the end of ourselves that we are able to find God. Someone once said that if we reach up for God, we will not find him; it is only when we reach down, down on our knees admitting our utter helplessness, then and only then are we open to the Holy Spirit coming in and taking charge of our lives. I think one of the reasons we do not experience more of the Spirit is because we are reaching up rather than starting from being down.
Are you always trying to be happy? Is your goal in life to be in control, to have your life all together, to be secure financially, emotionally, relationally and spiritually? The bad news is that you never will The good news is: "thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord" that we can have all things. Ask God today to make you aware of how much "striving" you do. Ask Him to help you learn to live having reached rock bottom.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy
Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.
Matthew 5: 3-8 (From the Sermon on the Mount - read all of chapter 5!)
Still Learning,
Sandy
Author: Unknown
How do we live a holy life? Not by trying to do it on our own strength. No, it is only when we come to the end of ourselves that we are able to find God. Someone once said that if we reach up for God, we will not find him; it is only when we reach down, down on our knees admitting our utter helplessness, then and only then are we open to the Holy Spirit coming in and taking charge of our lives. I think one of the reasons we do not experience more of the Spirit is because we are reaching up rather than starting from being down.
Are you always trying to be happy? Is your goal in life to be in control, to have your life all together, to be secure financially, emotionally, relationally and spiritually? The bad news is that you never will The good news is: "thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord" that we can have all things. Ask God today to make you aware of how much "striving" you do. Ask Him to help you learn to live having reached rock bottom.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy
Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.
Matthew 5: 3-8 (From the Sermon on the Mount - read all of chapter 5!)
Still Learning,
Sandy
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