A Firm Foundation When Life Gets Tough

Psalm 57:1-3
Have mercy on me, O God, have mercy!
I look to you for protection.
I will hide beneath the shadow of your wings
until the danger passes by.
² I cry out to God Most High,^[b]
to God who will fulfill his purpose for me.
³ He will send help from heaven to rescue me,
disgracing those who hound me. Interlude
My God will send forth his unfailing love and faithfulness

I am called to reflect again on my five year battle with cancer.  Although I think of April 20th as my diagnosis date, it was really the day that the word cancer came into our life.  My actual diagnosis date did not come until May 11th. 

Between the two days there were a lot of tests before I was seen at City of Hope, and then there were more tests to help pinpoint where the cancer was coming from.  After a painful bone marrow biopsy, I was told that I have Adenocarcinoma (cancer of an epithelium that originates in glandular tissue, which could be breast or any other soft tissue).  My case was then assigned an oncologist, and an appointment was made for May 11. 

Meanwhile the girls needed to be told so that we could then tell more people about what was happening.  Up until this point only a very small group of friends knew what was happening, and our parents.  I scripted what I was to say to the girls with the help of a psychologist City of Hope.  My girls still are scared  when we call a family meeting.  After we broke the news, Jon and I sat down and constructed an e-mail that we sent out that night to everyone on our contact list. 

By morning the news had caused an earthquake.  Everyone was shocked and grieving for us.  E-mails poured in offering help and promises of prayer.  I have no doubt that the switchboard in heaven was lighting up! 

May 11 came, and my Dad and stepmother, Sandy, went with Jon and I to City of Hope to meet my Oncologist.  That was the day that Dr. Cathy Chung came into my life.  She very clearly laid out what was happening.  Cancer has gotten into my blood and metastasized to my bone.  The point of origin still needed to be determined, but I was in stage 4, and my cancer is incurable.  The news hung there like a led balloon for all in the room to take in.  The next stage was to find out if it was coming from the breast or somewhere else.

We left the room and went downstairs so I could get some blood drawn for a test.  As I sat in the lab, the technicians were all talking about what plans they had for the weekend.  I remember thinking how odd it is to be sitting here dying, yet the world continues on as if all is normal.  When I walked out of the lab my eyes locked onto Jon in the hall.  He looked destroyed.  Our life was destroyed.  All the banter that happens between a husband and wife about retirement, travel, grandkids, etc... was no more.  We thought April 20th was hard, but this was the final blow that wiped out our hopes and dreams.

Cancer was found in my breast, and fortunately it was HR positive.  Treatments plans were put in place, and my neck was opereated on the week after Memorial Day.  I gained strength in knowing we were working on containing the cancer and fixing what was broken so that I could move towards not have physical pain. 

The fear took longer to get a grasp on.  It was only by God's Word did I find peace in the midst of my storm.  The prayers continued day and night.  I know of many who would wake up in the middle of the night and pray for me. I believe night prayer warriors helped Jon and I sleep through the night ourselves.

Find rest, oh my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.  Psalm 62:5-7

As I reflect back on our darkest hour, what I want to drive home to all who read this is that your darkest hour is not your final hour if you know Jesus Christ as your Savior.  I could have given up after hearing that news, but because of my faith, I had hope that God would work on my behalf. 

A foundation of faith is what you have before your darkest hour.  It is what you call upon when your world goes dark.  A foundation is something layed out and built on.  I had built a relationship with Jesus.  I did not even have to look at my Bible during that time because the Word of God was in my very soul.  I could be anywhere and know, "Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so."   My faith was so deeply rooted that I could just rest in the love and protection of Christ.  That being said, I emersed myself in God's Word and learned even more promises that encouraged me.

It is my deepest desire that everyone would have this foundation of hope.  It is the greatest gift you can give yourself.  Hope is huge!  It can get you out of a tight spot, it can fuel you with purpose.  Hope in Christ means that death is defeated! 

Nobody is exempt from trouble and trials.  You may be in your darkest hour right now.  Even if you don't have a firm foundation in Jesus, it is not too late.  You can call on Him anytime.  He has been waiting for you to seek Him.  You can start building that foundation now.

Sandy

God Meets My Needs

"My God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus"  (Philippians 4:19)

I am happy to report that my scan yesterday went extremely well.  There is still no evidence of cancer on my liver, so I can happily go about my business for the next four months without any changes. I am very thankful for the prayers that went up on my behalf, and that God answered them in a positive way.

God definitely met my need yesterday, but I know that sometimes we pray and the answer is not what we want.  It is not that God is not able or willing to answer a prayer with a yes, but it might not be the best thing for us, or the best timing.  We think earthly thoughts and only see God's handiwork from the backside.  Someday the masterpiece will be turned around and we will be able to see God's full work all at once and understand the inspiration and workings of the Master Painter.

"God does not need our money or our time and resources, but He invites us into this divine adventure of partnering with Him to see what only He can do.  In His grace, he loves to work through us.  We can spend the rest of our lives looking at what we do not have, or we can bring everything we have and are to Him and watch miracles take place."  - Sheila Walsh, The Shelter of God's Promises.

Even when the storm is rough, have your eyes set firmly on Jesus.  He does the impossible and unexpected, and has understanding beyond ours.  When we bring everything to Him, we can unload our heavy burdens and expect the unexpected to happen.

Blessings,
Sandy

Thanks to My Mom

I want to give a special thank you to my Mother for all of her support and encouragement all of my life, but especially in the past five years.  It was a horrible moment when I had to tell my mother that I have cancer.  She was devastated, and a bit mad at God.  Just like me, she has a foundation of faith that helped her through those first dark days, and then the Mama Bear came out in her.  She started to fight for my life by digging into God's Word and enlisting her friends to pray. 

On Mother's Day 2007, my mom gave me a little green book by Dodie Osteen called Healed of Cancer.  In that little book was an amazing story of how Dodie was healed of liver cancer in 1981.  In this book was the key to the strength that I would draw on for the next five years (and more).  Dodie listed the top promises from God that she claimed and read every day.  My mom started typing out these promises, and add our own.  We have quite a list of verses that have served us well over the years, and have given great comfort and hope.

My Mom also gave me a wonderful devotional book by Dodie called Choosing Life.  I read a devotion every morning from that book, and repeated it all the next year.  My mom did the same.  Whenever I had a down moment, my mother would not let me feel sorry for myself very long.  She would tell me that she is confident in God's promises and that He will keep me well so that I can keep spreading His message of hope to others.

My Mom would trade places with me if she could.  Like all good mothers, we want to shield our children from pain, and she would rather me not be going though so much pain.  But, she has rejoiced with me over the triumphs, and cried with me over the losses.  The trial is mine, but the strength I get from my mom, and many others is the most beautiful gift I could receive.

I am deeply thankful that God gave me a strong mother to be by my side.  I am also forever grateful that God gave me two beautiful daughters who also give light and laughter to my world. 

Mother's Day 2012 will be one of rejoicing.  We have all come a long way, and God has been incredibly gracious and merciful.  I have scans this week, so keep me in your prayers that all is well and stable. 

To all the Mothers out there, have a very special day! 

Love,
Sandy

After the sermon, that I described in my last Blog, two vocalists sang a very moving song.  I found out later that they did not know the song all that well, but they were called back from the choir retreat to sing it that morning.  Kathy Troccoli sings a beautiful rendition of this song that can be found on iTunes.

"My Life Is In Your Hands"
By: Kirk Franklin

You don't have to worry
And don't you be afraid
Joy comes in the morning
Troubles they don't last always
For there's a friend in Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if your heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say

Oh
I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

So when your tests and trials
They seem to get you down
And all your friends and loved ones
Are nowhere to be found
Remember there's a friend in Jesus
Who will wipe your tears away
And if you heart is broken
Just lift your hands and say

Oh
I know that I can make it
I know that I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

With Jesus I can take it
With Him I know I can stand
No matter what may come my way
My life is in your hands

Stuff Happens!

I have been reflecting on the events of my life five years ago, and I am very fortunate that I have a journal to refer back to which brings back details that would have been lost by now if I had to rely on my memory.  I often speak of how amazing it is that God is many steps ahead of us in his plans.  Today I am reminded of what happened, a week after my diagnosis, when a guest speaker came to our church.  Adam Donner asked his good friend, Dr. Heidi Husted Armstrong, to speak in front of the congregation. 

Heidi (we are Facebook buddies so I can be informal) started her sermon by saying she had something completely different planned for that morning, but the Holy Spirit worked on her all week and she felt led to speak on Psalm 23.  Needless to say, those words took my breath away because I knew it was for me. Here are some of the highlights that I wrote about in my journal.  Heidi's elaboration is in green.

Psalm 23
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
The Lord is a sovereign ruler who exhibits strength in my life.  My King exhibits strength, and is my guide. God is my security and I have everything I need.  He provides.² He makes me lie down in green pastures (food),
he leads me beside quiet waters (drink), ³ he refreshes my soul (God keeps me alive).
He guides me along the right paths (safety)
    for his name’s sake. 
⁴ Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
cancer
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; 
Evil is real, and the threat of darkness is real.  God's people are not exempt and stuff happens.  In the midst of it we can fear no evil because God is with us.  There is no darkness so deep that God is not deeper still!  We are not alone.  We are secure because the shepherd will never abandon the sheep.  Our sovereign God will never give up rule.  This is a radical trust, not a cake walk!
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

⁵ You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies

(Evil threats are always there).
You anoint my head with oil;  

  my cup overflows.
⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life 

 I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

God is determined not abandon us! 

We can call out to God and cry, "Come!" 

Through the darkness, God replies, "I am with you!"

The sermon was followed up with the words from Jesus in John 10:7-10:

⁷ Therefore Jesus said again, “Very truly I tell you, I am the gate for the sheep. ⁸ All who have come before me are thieves and robbers, but the sheep have not listened to them. ⁹ I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved.^[a] They will come in and go out, and find pasture. ¹⁰ The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

God came into the world by His Son Jesus.  Jesus is God with skin on.  Jesus identifies himself as the shepherd who is determined to never let the sheep go.  Jesus is the shepherd in Psalm 23.  Stuff happens, but grace happens. 

I wrote in my journal that after the service, Adam prayed with Jon and I.  After our prayer, Heidi came up to us.  I told her that I felt her sermon was meant for me.  We embraced and she told me she would be praying for me.

Not only were the words that were spoken very powerful and encouraging, but the fact that God orchestrated that morning made me feel even more loved and valued by God.  He was using many people to convey His Word and strengthen me for the battle ahead.

It is my prayer that in your darkest valley, you will know the Shepherd and listen for His voice.  As the scripture continues in John, Jesus says that His sheep know his voice and follow Him.  They can never be snatched from His hand.  I knew God's voice that day, and later in my journal I wrote this:

"I really feel like God is going to use this for His glory.  I don't feel worthy at all to be His tool, but in my inner core I trust God in this valley."

I hope you know the voice of God and are letting Jesus walk through the valleys with you.  Stuff happens, but you don't have to walk alone thanks to Jesus' grace.

Sandy 

The Celebration

Last Friday, I celebrated my five year anniversary with family and friends.  God provided great weather, and lots of joy.  All of the guests have been influencial is helping me get through the last five years by either making meals, driving me to treatments, or providing moral support.  I am very blessed to have these friends, and many more, on my side.  Most of all everyone has provided prayer, which I believe to be the best way of fighting off cancer, and the fear that comes with it.  I loved this card that I received this week, and I echo the words that nothing beats the power of prayer.

No ocean can hold it back,
No river can over take it.
No whirlwind can go faster,
No army can defeat it.
No law can stop it,
No distance can slow it.
No disease can cripple it,
No force on Earth is more powerful or effective,
Than the power of prayer.

It is truly a privilege to be able to go before God and pray for others, and it is a humbling experience when you know that hundreds are going before God on behalf of you.  I have no doubt that the power of prayer has brought me to this point where I can celebrate.  I have seen God's hand in big ways and small, and I am eternally grateful for the hope that He has given me, and many others.

Blessings,
Sandy

Today has been one of reflections and praise.
It has been an amazing five years.  I would have never
dreamed that this Blog would be a ministry.
God has provided in the most amazing ways!

Psalm 34
I will extol the LORD at all times;
his praise will always be on my lips.
² I will glory in the LORD;
let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
³ Glorify the LORD with me;
let us exalt his name together.
⁴ I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears.
⁵ Those who look to him are radiant!

Celebrating Life

This week I mark my fifth anniversary of living with stage 4 breast cancer and I know right where to start with my awe and thanks; a prayer to Jesus:

Precious Jesus,

You were there in the jeep in Sedona when my neck broke.  You already had the angels assembled to watch over me so that I was not paralyzed.  You were many steps before me orchestrating the week that would alter my life forever.  You had already spent years building friendships for me so that I would have the infrastructure for what was to come.  You gave me parents who trained me and encouraged me to seek you at all cost.  My foundation of faith was strong, which it needed to be for what you had planned. You gave me a husband who is compassionate and loving so that I had someone physically there to cling to.  You ordained our marriage so that the three of us (You, Jon and I) would be bound like a strong rope to withstand the storm.  You put Anthony Prince in my path so we could talk about my teaching Sunday School; so that he would send that lesson with the verses and motto I would need to gain strength to grab hold of your hand as I was slipping into the abyss of pain and confusion. 

You were in the MRI room knowing that the truth was about to be revealed.  You were standing next to Dr. Woodward as he read the report that would alter all my hopes and dreams of the future.  You were in the office that night as Dr. Woodward tearfully broke the news.  You had Angels standing by watching over my two girls in the waiting room, their innocence still in tact and their world was good and perfect for the moment.  You were with Jon and I that night as we cried out in disbelief and we begged for another explanation to be revealed. 

Jesus, it was your envelope (addressed by Anthony) that came the next day with two promises and the words "God is at His Best When Life is at it's Worst."  You humble me.  Your love made me drop to me knees in wonder at your never ending compassion and mercy.  You told me that day you would never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5) and that if I trusted in you all things would work to the good for your purpose (Romans 8:28).  You did not take away the pain, but you gave me the first taste of peace that you were at hand and fully aware of what was going on with me.  You were in control, and you never break your promises.

Those first days were horribly painful.  Not only was our world crashing down, but I was in intense pain physically.  Our Bible Study Group was there to surround us and be the first to pray for us, and phone calls were made to my long time friends Cheryl Powers and Cindy Axton.  I know there were some sleepless nights for all concerned.  I still had to tell my parents.  How do you tell your parents that you are dying?

Jesus, you were the light.  You were the foundation.  You were the one who carried me through those first days, and beyond.  Just like that story of the footsteps in the sand, there was only one set of footprints that week, and they were yours.  I was too broken to walk.  You were the lifter of my head, because my neck was too broken to look up.

It has been five years, and what you have done amazes me. Not because I ever limited you or thought you were incapable of miracles, but more amazed that you could take a simple girl like me and set her up in a ministry that involves writing and talking and being bold.  Why me?  I am sure there are people better than I.  Yet, it has not been me, it has been You all along.  You are the writer, I am the typist.  You are the Savior, I am just trying to shine your light.  You are the Word, the Truth, and the Life.  I have never regretted giving my life to you.  You given me life back, but with a new purpose.

I pray that this week, and the many years to come, that I can be a part of people seeing that giving their life to you is the biggest decision they will ever make.  I pray that my journey of faith will intersect with others so that more people can walk their own journey of faith knowing that you are a living God who walks ahead of us to point the way.

Love,
Your Servant Sandy

He Has Risen!!!

Jesus' Burial - By Max Lucado

When Pilate learned that Jesus was dead, he asked the soldiers if they were certain. They were. Had they seen the Nazarene twitch, had they heard even one moan, they would have broken his legs to speed his end. But there was no need. The thrust of a spear removed all doubt. The Romans knew their job. And their job was finished. They pried loose the nails, lowered his body, and gave it to Joseph and Nicodemus.
Joseph of Arimathea. Nicodemus the Pharisee. They sat in seats of power and bore positions of influence. Men of means and men of clout. But they would’ve traded it all for one breath out of the body of Jesus. He had answered the prayer of their hearts, the prayer for the Messiah. As much as the soldiers wanted him dead, even more these men wanted him alive.
As they sponged the blood from his beard, don’t you know they listened for his breath? As they wrapped the cloth around his hands, don’t you know they hoped for a pulse? Don’t you know they searched for life?
But they didn’t find it.
So they do with him what they were expected to do with a dead man. They wrap his body in clean linen and place it in a tomb. Joseph’s tomb. Roman guards are stationed to guard the corpse. And a Roman seal is set on the rock of the tomb. For three days, no one gets close to the grave.
But then, Sunday arrives. And with Sunday comes light—a light within the tomb. A bright light? A soft light? Flashing? Hovering? We don’t know. But there was a light. For he is the light. And with the light came life. Just as the darkness was banished, now the decay is reversed. Heaven blows and Jesus breathes. His chest expands. Waxy lips open. Wooden fingers lift. Heart valves swish and hinged joints bend.
And, as we envision the moment, we stand in awe.
We stand in awe not just because of what we see, but because of what we know… We know that when Jesus was raised from the dead it was a signal of the end of death-as-the-end. Never again will death have the last word. When Jesus died, he took sin down with him, but alive he brings God down to us” (Rom. 6:5–9 MSG).

Walking Toward the Cross

This week Christians from all over the world will reflect on the events that led to Jesus' crucifixion on the cross, and the resurrection that would come after.  My Bible Study Group has been going through the book of Luke, and we are also (scripturally) looking at the last days of Jesus' time on earth.

Ironically, there is a lot of talk about money in the scriptures before Holy Week, and with the recent Mega Millions Lottery frenzy, what Jesus said is still true today.  Money is a necessity for us to have a roof over our heads and be able to eat, but it is also one of the greatest barriers to people trusting in God and wanting the free gift of salvation that Jesus paid for (with his life) on the cross.  In Jesus last day's, he had many encounters with people giving us insight to why He would say:

"No servant can serve two masters.  Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other.  You can not serve both God and Money."  Luke 16:13

If you read through Luke 16-19, you will see a lot of talk about how money can be a barrier to depending on God.  The shrewd manager over charges the master's debtors out of greed, and we learn that we are to use worldly wealth to help others enter the kingdom of God.  Then there is the rich man who passes by a beggar at his gate and never gives him anything.  The rich man and the beggar die, and the rich man is in hell begging for the beggar to bring him water.  The rich man learns that he had no compassion for the poor, and loved his money more.  Yet, his money did not pay for him to enter the kingdom of heaven.

One of my favorite stories is about Zacchaeus the tax collector.  He had heard about Jesus, so that when Jesus came to his town, this short man climbed into a tree to see Him.  Zacchaeus was wealthy from collecting extra taxes from his own people, the Jews.  When Jesus saw Zacchaeus, he called for him to come down so He could go to his house.  Zacchaeus is so changed by this encounter, he invites all of his (sinful) friends to come over, and then tells Jesus he is giving back all the money he cheated people out of, and giving his money to the poor.  Zacchaeus was willing to lay down all he had for salvation. 

After I purchased my own Mega Million tickets (5), I went home and started dreaming about what I would do with 640 million dollars.  It did not take long for me to become disgusted with the thought that one person would have so much.  I started thinking of the problems that kind of money would bring, and the focus I would have to put into managing that kind of wealth.  I thought about how it could make the lives of people around me easier, but then does God really want our lives to be easy due to money? 

Jesus talked about money before his death on the cross because it is the one thing that makes us feel self-sufficient and in no need of God. We want the American Dream, not the Kingdom Dream. 

As we enter into Holy Week, we should all ask ourselves some questions.  What consumes my life?  Do I try to manipulate God to get something?  What am I consumed with keeping?  What would destroy me if I lost it? 

Wealth means nothing in the heavenly realm.  In the midst of all this talk, Jesus was telling his disciples that He was going to die soon, but would be resurrected.  The disciples could not grasp what He was saying, and mostly because they had their own ideas on what the Jewish Messiah was there for.  They were hoping that Jesus would be the answer to their political and social problems, and were forgetting all they had heard and seen while traveling with Jesus the past three years.

Jesus entered Jerusalem on a colt, not a noble steed.  He did not come in a chariot with pride and power, but on a donkey with humbleness and a heavy heart.  In the midst of the procession of palm branches and yelling "Hosanna", Jesus cried over the city that did not understand what was to come.

This was the final straw for the religious leaders.  Jesus had called them out too many times about not following the law with love, instead of greed.  They did not like this guy, and they were going to do something about it.  However, this was all in God's plan.  Jesus entered Jerusalem as our final sacrifice before God. 

He was about to pay the ultimate price for us...for me.  What can I do to repay such a gift?

Sandy