Sandy's Journey of Faith

Not Perfect, But Purposeful

2012-01-22T09:35:00.000-08:00

Every so often you will see someone write on Facebook something very honest and real, but most of the time it is filled with good news of shopping finds, children's accomplishments, or what fun activity the family did over the weekend. I have known it to be a good venue for asking for prayer, like this week when a friend was unexpectedly put in the hospital. The encouragement and love was overflowing on her Facebook Wall. I have certainly benefited from this same outpouring of love via Facebook. My husband is new to Facebook, and he said this week, "It is all very nice."

One thing I want to be sensitive of is that life is not always very Facebook worthy. There are fights with kids, misunderstanding with husbands, moments that you would not want plastered all over the Internet. Imagine posting, "Today was a horrible day. I snapped at my children because I was stressed and tired, and I hurt their feelings." or "Tonight we gathered to say our bedtime prayers and the kids got in a fight over a hair bow so we all went to bed irritated, and we did not pray."

Welcome to my house. It is not a perfect house. God does wonders with many things, but it is still a house of real and failed people who don't always say and do everything in a manner that would please the Lord. We don't always have our priorities straight, and we have moments (often) that require an apology to the person we hurt, and to God.

If you have ever looked at the Boulware Family and thought we lived on a heavenly cloud of perfectness, you should know that we are just like everyone else. I don't think my family wants me to tell you all their failings, so I will just share mine. My ongoing mistake is talking or acting out before I think. There are times (often) that I wish I had a "Pause" button that I could push right before I do something I am going to regret.

Failed but forgiven. The key here is that with Jesus in our hearts, we can be set back upright, brushed off, and sent again on life's way because we have a God that knows we will never be perfect. He hopes we will learn our lessons, but is a realist when it comes to a perfect life for us on earth. Hence, God sent His Son to pay the price for those things that could cause bigger issues and lead us into bondage.

Deep inside though, we yearn for being better. We know our weaknesses and want to conquer them. We get mad when we make the same mistakes. We know there is something better out there for us, and often we forget there is a "someone" who not only expects better from us, but is willing to walk along side us and offer great council and patience so that we can realize our true potential.

There is a secret set within each of our hearts. It often goes unnoticed, we rarely can put words to it, and yet it guides us throughout the days of our lives. This secret remains hidden for the most part in our deepest selves. It is simply the desire for life as it was meant to be. Isn't there a life you have been searching for all your days? You may not always be aware of your search, and there are times when you seem to have abandoned looking altogether. But again and again it returns to us, this yearning that cries out for the life we prize. It is elusive, to be sure. It seems to come and go at will. Seasons may pass until it surfaces again. And though it seems to taunt us, and may at times cause us great pain, we know when it returns that it is priceless. For if we could recover this desire, unearth it from beneath all other distractions, and embrace it as our deepest treasure, we would discover the secret of our existence - John Eldridge

I am not perfect, but I have become purposeful. It was something that eluded me all my life, but it took cancer to find it. I prayed, for many years, that God would take me and mold me into something better. I knew I could be better. I am now doing what I was designed to do in life, but I have found that I am even more humbled because God has taken my weakness and made them strengths, and He uses me even though life is still not perfect. Why would He choose me still stirs me deep inside. He took a failed and obscure girl with poor English and writing skills and gave her a Blog that would go out all over the world.

The key to finding your purpose is to have a willing heart for Christ and a continued relationship with Him through prayer and scripture. When you desire to be better and give those human failing over to God, He can take them and turn them into an amazing gift that is only made perfect through His molding and love.

Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Not perfect, but purposeful,
Sandy

Starting the Year Out Right

2012-01-16T08:24:00.000-08:00

I have a friend who lives on my street, and we love her and her family. Whenever I pass her house, I can't help looking to see what beautiful decorations are adorning her doorway. I have noticed for the past week that she still has her gorgeous Christmas garland and wreaths up on her door. What I have loved about seeing this is that it has been a reminder (to me) that Christmas is not over (ever). A matter of fact, our church still has it's Christmas decorations up because we celebrate what is called Epiphany, which is the twelve days after Christmas.

The term epiphany means "to show" or "to make known" or even "to reveal." In Western churches, it remembers the coming of the wise men bringing gifts to visit the Christ child, who by so doing "reveal" Jesus to the world as Lord and King.

Christmas is a wonderful time of celebrating God's revelation of His only Son being sent into this world to someday pay for our sins. However, the work God was doing did not grind to a halt the day after Jesus' birth. God did not put everything on hold until Jesus was big enough to walk and talk on God's behalf. God continued His work (and the fulfillment of scripture) during all of the years that Jesus was growing up. God put people in place, nurtured lives of twelve young men that would be Jesus' companions, and put rulers into place that would all lead toward God's master plan 32 years down the road.

The amazing news that I received this week is not the end of chemo, or cancer, or all the other treatment that I do. It is just the beginning. I am blessed that God chose to start my year out with a bang, but now my job is to look ahead at what God might be wanting me to use this reprieve for. God's work is never done! :)

As I reflect on the moments before I went into my test this week, I am humbled by the message that God put before me. When I left last Monday for my ultrasound, I grabbed a CD in the dark. The first song was "It Is Well With My Soul." I turned the radio down after that and prayed that it would be well with my soul if they told me bad news, and it would be well with my soul if the cancer is stable. I prayed that God would always give me that peace of knowing that whatever comes my way, God is at work, and I would be accepting of His will and plan, even if it was not what I would choose.

We have made Christmas into something that it was never intended to be. It causes many people grief, stress, and worry. I am glad the New Year comes on the heals of Christmas. After a month of reflecting on the birth of Christ, it is a reminder than we can go forward with new dreams and hopes and a fresh start. Isn't that the mission of God? He is offering fresh starts, redemption, love, and promise to all who believe.

Everyone can use a fresh start! Making new goals of reading God's Word, or helping on a mission team, or getting plugged into a church to nurture your relationship with our almighty God. These are good ways to start the New Year.

It does not matter what you have done before. God actively gives us a fresh start. We don't even have to wait until January to do it! He is waiting all the time to take you in His arms and love you. Make a goal this year to get to know the one who loves you.

Praising Him,
Sandy

Answered Prayer

2012-01-09T11:55:00.000-08:00

Praise God!

I had my ultrasound this morning, and the technicians could not find any lesions on my liver!!!!! Not one! They looked for almost an hour!

My Oncologist called me before I even made it to my car and was so excited for me. Of course I give God all the glory, but I did suggest that maybe we need some research on the healing effects of See's Candy instead of blueberries.

I will continue on my current chemo drug, which is two pills a day. With metastatic cancer, there always has to be a blocker in place because it is still on my bones.

Thank you all so much for your on-going prayers for me. I believe that prayer is the most powerful blocker of all, and I am certainly blessed with lots of them.

Rejoicing!!
Sandy

Welcome 2012

2012-01-08T21:51:00.000-08:00

As you know, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer in April, 2007. I started this Blog to keep family and friends updated on my surgery (for a broken neck), and the treatment that I was starting at the time. Little did I know, when I titled my Blog "Sandy's Journal of Faith," it would be my ministry, and I would be posting weekly for five years.

This journey has seen many valleys, and some very scenic peaks. Through it all God has been faithfully guiding me into what I believe is my purpose through cancer, which is to share God's Word and shed light on His love for all of us. I don't regret a day of it, and I intend to continue to write as long as I am able.

I started this journey in a very dark place. You can certainly relate to the deepest valley of all, it is filled with fear and despair. All of us will find ourselves there at some point in our life. It is the place that (alone) is hard to find your way out of. My Mother gave me a little green book by Dodie Osteen titled "Healed of Cancer", and it gave me encouragement and a vision of how God wanted me respond to my diagnosis. Dodie's courage came from the Word of God, and that is where my courage began to grow.

"If you will put the Word of God in your heart when you don't need it, God will bring it out when you do need it." -John Osteen

My life depends on knowing and claiming God's promises through His Word, and so does yours. I read the Bible daily and do devotions from various sources to encourage me and grow my knowledge of God's Word. The Bible is His direct instructions for living. Nothing about it is old or not useful.

...give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart; for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life. Proverbs 4:20-23

I love God's Word, and I look to it for strength. Your soul needs food, like your body. The Bible is the best food out there. Nothing is more satisfying that having a relationship with God, and putting my fears in His hands.

I am starting the year with a test (ultasound) tomorrow to see how the lesion on my liver are doing. Test days are always a little nerve racking. The fear of the unknown is worse than the reality sometimes. It does not matter what the results are, I know that God is bigger than any test, and he can flick those lesions off my liver whenever He wants.

I am so thankful that I can approach all things with the power of Christ Jesus behind me. God is truly my rock and salvation. He is the one I live for, and I hope to shine His light to as many people as possible, for as long as possible.

As I enter into 2012, I know that God has great plans for me. Sometimes He asks me to do things that are uncomfortable or not convenient for me, but He also gives great rewards and deep satisfaction.

Whatever your journey is, I pray it will be filled with the knowledge of God's love in 2012.

Happy New Year,
Sandy

Reflections of 2011

2011-12-30T10:02:00.000-08:00

As the year 2011 draws to a close, I can't help but reflect back and wonder what I can take away from this year that will help me in 2012. It is easy to label a year good or bad. Some years are definitely harder than others. This was a good year for me personally, but a bad year for some friends and family.

In February, and friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer. She is not a smoker, is a single mom, and had not seen steady work for quite some time. She had just been hired for a job with benefits. Sometimes it is really hard to see God's plan, but she loves God despite the pain, and God has revealed Himself in unexpected ways.

My cousin lost his son this year to drugs and violence. He and his wife raised their two sons with faith and devotion to Jesus, put the boys in a Christian school, and had wonderful family vacations to strengthen their bond. Satan creeped into their son's life under the cloak of friendship, and their oldest son fell away from the family and was lured into a life of feeling good on drugs.

The community of La Verne was hit hard at the end of this year by the tragic death of a young boy who unexpectedly lost his life after having a small bite on his ear got infected and went into his blood stream. We do not know the family well (Rachel was on a soccer team year's ago with the sister), but the reality of how life can change in a second hit us all hard.

Sometimes we wonder where God is and why does He not fix things the way we would like. I can personally say that there have been many times when I have asked that question. We have our human ways of wanting to fix problems or take away pain. There is no easy answer for any of these families. Life has been altered and will never be the same. Yet, God still reveals His love and sorrow for each one of them in intimate and astounding ways. I think if each family was to write about the unexpected ways that they have felt loved by God, we all would be humbled and amazed.

In Women's Bible Study this year, Pastor Betsy gave me a visual that I feel defines what I constantly experience and take away as a lesson for years to come. Betsy was talking about how God's plan is bigger than our own. She referenced an old Star Trek episode (or was it a movie) where Captain Kirk and Spock are playing chess. The chess board is three layers, and when a player makes a move on one level the other levels automatically make moves.

I don't want to give the impression that we are just a game for God, but this image has effected me deeply. To me, it is a visual that life is not always about the one move for us personally; others can be effected by what happens to us and we can be effected by what happens to others. God's purpose is not to make our life easy, and it is not to make our lives miserable. There is a master plan, and we all have a purpose to seek God's love and will no matter what life throws at us. In the midst of pain, God makes a move that effects many people.

I was sick last Christmas, but many people have told me that they don't normally pray, but they prayed for me. My friend with cancer is financially destroyed, but a stranger gave her a gift at Christmas that offered hope to her family, but effected three families in a powerful way. The community comes together in grief, and the ripple effect from that is still resonating in generosity and prayer.

This year had many gifts for me personally. Stable health, great family vacations, and the love of friends and family. But the greatest gifts will be the ones that God intervened in. The deepest joy I have ever felt is the joy that comes from getting a glimpse at the enormous amount of love and attention to detail that God gives when it is least expected. It is in those moments that I see the face of Jesus, and the plan God set into motion for each and every one of use to know His heart.

This coming year brings a big milestone for me. April will mark the fifth year of living with stage 4 cancer. At the time of my diagnosis, to get five good years was considered fortunate. I am thankful that my doctors never accepted that for me, and have navigated my health care to reflect a quality and longevity of life that I am so thankful for. Cancer research continues to make progress and provide many options for my type of metastatic cancer. My family and friends have prayed me to good and stable health, with the belief that God can intervene at any time with complete healing.

It is my deepest prayer that whomever reads this Blog will see God at work and know His love. This Blog often gets passed around to people who are hurting, many times to those who have just been given a devastating diagnosis of cancer. What I want to always be saying in my writings is that there is peace and hope that can be found only through a personal relationship with a God who deeply cares. If you read scripture, you will find that God uses desperate times to His glory. He calls broken people to carry is love. He restores, heals, and comforts.

He is quite simply the greatest love I have ever known.

Sandy

Seeking the Savior - Max Lucado

2011-12-24T08:56:00.000-08:00

Seeking the Savior

Simeon [said], “Can I stay alive until I see him?”
The Magi [said], “Saddle up the camels. We aren’t stopping until we find him.”
The shepherds [said], “Let’s go…. Let’s see.”
They wanted the Savior. They wanted to see Jesus.
They were earnest in their search. One translation renders Hebrews 11:6: “God … rewards those who earnestly seek him” (NIV).
Another reads: “God rewards those who search for him” (Phillips).
And another: “God … rewards those who sincerely look for him” (TLB).
I like the King James translation: “He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him” (italics mine).
Diligently—what a great word. Be diligent in your search. Be hungry in your quest, relentless in your pilgrimage. Let this book be but one of dozens you read about Jesus and this hour be but one of hundreds in which you seek him. Step away from the puny pursuits of possessions and positions, and seek your king.
Don’t be satisfied with angels. Don’t be content with stars in the sky. Seek him out as the shepherds did. Long for him as Simeon did. Worship him as the wise men did….Risk whatever it takes to see Christ.
God rewards those who seek him. Not those who seek doctrine or religion or systems or creeds. Many settle for these lesser passions, but the reward goes to those who settle for nothing less than Jesus himself.
Max Lucado

Seeking Jesus is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Seek him in good times, and bad, good health or poor health. He is there in the middle of anguish, doubt, confusion, and despair. He can make all paths straight. Knowing Christ Jesus is the greatest gift ever given.

Seek Him for yourself.
Love,
Sandy

The Greatest Gift

2011-12-18T22:25:00.000-08:00

When I think of Christmas, I have happy memories growing up. My parents did not have a lot of money, but they always made Christmas morning special. My brother and I would have to wait for my maternal grandparents to arrive with the Winchell's donuts before we could open our gifts. There was not a large stack, but what we did get was fun.

Because we were so connected to our church (Hacienda Heights Baptist), there were choir concerts, and parties that would lead up to Christmas. My family would go on drives to see lights. We had extended family over for dinner. It was all very normal to me, and I thought everyone had the same experience as me.

My children have the same experience as I did. We have lots of family traditions that include baking, seeing lights, dinner with friends, a Bible Study party, and gathering with family. They think this is all normal and everyone has the same experiences.

Sometimes we all need to be reminded that Christmas time is not joyful for some. The loss of a loved ones is felt even more, the stress of a job and finances is heightened, and health issues can feel even more depressing. We all are all traveling through life with encounters that are not always pretty. If you were to travel across the United States, you would go through deserts that leave you thirsty and listless. There would be mountains to cross with windy roads that make you wonder when you will reach the top and start coasting down. There would be some beautiful countrysides that make would make you happy that you continued on your trip.

This Christmas I keep thinking of the journey of Mary and Joseph and how it relates to our personal journeys. Pastor Jim has been preaching an outstanding series called "On the Road", which has looked at the characters in the story of Jesus. Jim has addressed what the road looked like for the Magi, King Herod, the Shepherds, and (of course) Mary and Joseph. We have these pretty Christmas traditions, and joyful songs, but the reality is that the journey they were on (over two thousand years ago) was not picture perfect, fun, and comfortable. Yet, the Bible says, "Mary treasured these things in her heart." She knew deep down that God was orchestrating something special, and she was willing to set aside her comfort to follow God's will.

Are we willing to set aside our dreams and desires to follow Jesus? He never promises a scenic road, yet somehow when you are in the desert, or on the windy mountain road, you see His workings and it is beautiful. God gives new dreams and desires, and they are always more amazing that what our feeble minds could have thought up. His way is not always comfortable, but it is meaningful and purposeful. Pastor Jim asked us today who interrupted who. Perhaps we were the ones that interrupted God's plans. God is the great architect, and we need to set aside our sub-contractor blueprints for God's master plan.

As you unwrap gifts, and spend time with those you love the most, it is my wish that you remember the greatest gift came into the world to give you life eternal with God. I hope that you can get a glimpse of the master plan for your life as you ponder the amazing birth of Christ Jesus.

Merry Christmas,
Sandy

What a Difference a Year Makes

2011-12-09T10:27:00.000-08:00

I can't help but wake up every morning with praise on my lips for good health during this Christmas season. I had a check-up with my Oncologist last week, and we both were practically "giddy" that I am feeling so great, and everything is stable. This is a far cry from last year.

On November 30, 2010, I went in for my six week check-up, and I was told that cancer had spread to my liver (again). I was stunned because I felt so good, and was anticipating the holiday season that was upon us. I was put on a new chemotherapy drug, that fortunately I could take orally at home.

The news caught me off guard, and I was immediately attacked with fear and despair. I had already experienced the feeling of being told the cancer had spread to my liver, but after eight months of a chemo infusion, and tons of prayer, the lesions had disappeared, and my Oncologist credited God more than the drugs I was on. So here I am only eight short months later, and I was afraid. To top it all off, Elizabeth Edwards (who had metastatic breast cancer) was on her death bed because her cancer had gone to her liver and it was all over the news. I felt overwhelmed.

I started my new chemo regiment the next day, and within 24 hours, I was feeling "off". I was taking three pills in the morning and three at dinner. I figured I did not have enough in my stomach, and I just needed to get my body adjusted to the new drug. Unfortunately, the nausea continued to increase. Within days I was forcing myself to eat something so I could take the pills, and I was put on an anti-nausea pill. Nothing was helping. You know how it goes, you wait for the moment that you will feel better, it does not happen, you try something else... I was trying to hard to manage the nausea, but it was ruining everything that I enjoy during the month of December. All social functions revolve around food, and I could not stand to smell anything.

Several weeks go by of trying new things, and I had a big Christmas Party at my house fast approaching. I am desperately trying to feel better, but it is getting worse. The day of my party, I wake up feeling as if a hole had been blown into my stomach. It was my worst day yet. It was too late to stop the train for coming, so in true "female" style, I was going to power through the party. Sadly, and hour into it, I had to go upstairs and go to bed. I was miserable.

The next week, I got into my Oncologist. I was dehydrated and toxic. I ended up being admitted to the hospital so they could flush me out. What happened that week is a long story (and I have already written too much), but God's hand was in it all. On December 17th, I woke up and was so happy that the pain and nausea had lifted.

It is probably hard for many to understand, but my physical misery was accompanied by a spiritual peace. The entire 17 days were filled with many gifts. Friends and family who cared for me and loved me. People praying with me. If you really want to hear a specific gift that God gave me, then scroll back to my Blog on December 19, 2010. God interceded in ways that only He can. I am still amazed at the ways He loves and cares for me.

Here I am, a year later, and you can certainly understand why I am so happy to be feeling good and not guilty for one moment for the eight pounds I will put on this month. We all have struggles, trials, miserable times in our lives. We wish for an easy going existence, and sometimes we get is for a little while, but something always comes up. However, it seems as if those trials that come always grow us in ways we would have never understood before. We don't like it, but when we surrender to God, He not only direct us out of our misery, but He can also set us on a new ground with deeper insight into His love and will for our lives.

Last year was an unexpected road for me, but a necessary one. There were things that happened during that time that developed into amazing gifts later (see my Whale Tale in April 2011). The gifts were not just for me, but for others who walked along side me. It called people to prayer in the midst of the busy season.

It makes me think about two other people who were on an unexpected road. Mary and Joseph could not even begin to wrap their minds around what was about to happen to them. Sure, they each were approached by and angel. That is powerful in itself. But they were young, and life was not at all what they had planned for. And then there was the timing of a census. What was God thinking? Could he make it any harder?

"God, I have cancer (in case you haven't noticed), can't you make it a little easier? Why did this have to happen in December when so much is going on?"

Sometimes we just have to continue walking the road God has set before us with faith. It is not our job to know everthing. It is our job to just be obediant and trusting. God loves us so much. He would not ask us to do anything beyond what we could handle, and often times there are other things He is working on simutaniously so that our lives intersect with other lives. It is a masterpiece that I am humbled to be a part of.

Humble. That was the plan that God had. To bring His Son into this world in a humble way. The only fanfare was the angels and a group of shepherds, and a teenage girl and boy. Who would possibly write a story like that for the Savior of the world?

God wrote the story, and it changed me forever. I hope you have a moment of wonder this month as you reflect on the power of God and His intimate love for you.

Blessings,
Sandy

Divine Gifts by Max Lucado

2011-11-27T07:53:00.000-08:00

I enjoyed being with family these past four days. It is nice to sit around a table and share a meal with the ones you love. Now we enter the time of shopping for the perfect gifts and enjoying the festivities of Christmas. Nobody articulates the start of the Christmas Season better than Max Lucado:

Oh, the things we do to give gifts to those we love.
But we don’t mind, do we? We would do it all again. Fact is, we do it all again. Every Christmas, every birthday, every so often we find ourselves in foreign territory. Grownups are in toy stores. Dads are in teen stores. Wives are in the hunting department, and husbands are in the purse department.
And we’d do it all again. Having pressed the grapes of service, we drink life’s sweetest wine—the wine of giving. We are at our best when we are giving. In fact, we are most like God when we are giving.

Have you ever wondered why God gives so much? We could exist on far less. He could have left the world flat and gray; we wouldn’t have known the difference. But he didn’t.

He splashed orange in the sunrise
and cast the sky in blue.
And if you love to see geese as they gather,
chances are you’ll see that too.
Did he have to make the squirrel’s tail furry?
Was he obliged to make the birds sing?
And the funny way that chickens scurry
or the majesty of thunder when it rings?
Why give a flower fragrance? Why give food its taste?
Could it be he loves to see
that look upon your face?

If we give gifts to show our love, how much more would he? If we—speckled with foibles and greed—love to give gifts, how much more does God, pure and perfect God, enjoy giving gifts to us? Jesus asked, “If you hardhearted, sinful men know how to give good gifts to your children, won’t your Father in heaven even more certainly give good gifts to those who ask him for them?” (Matt. 7:11 TLB).

God’s gifts shed light on God’s heart, God’s good and generous heart. Jesus’ brother James tells us: “Every desirable and beneficial gift comes out of heaven. The gifts are rivers of light cascading down from the Father of Light” (James 1:17 MSG). Every gift reveals God’s love … but no gift reveals his love more than the gifts of the cross. They came, not wrapped in paper, but in passion. Not placed around a tree, but a cross. And not covered with ribbons, but sprinkled with blood.

-Max Lucado

7 Ways to Give Thanks

2011-11-21T07:58:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays because it is all about eating and socializing, not about gift giving. While I am on the subject of gifts, and being thankful, Jon had a birthday this past Saturday. He is definitely one of the greatest gifts God ever brought my way!

Back to eating! I love sitting down with a friend over a good meal. My favorite meal time is breakfast (IHOP pumpkin pancakes). I am thankful for all things pumpkin (Marie Calendars) or peanut butter. I love Sees Candy, and Jon was given a box at work. He brought it home and laid it on the counter to share at Thanksgiving. After a day (and a half) of torture, I finally ripped into it! I am thankful that my family can come together on Thursday and sit around a dinner table together. I am thankful that they will understand my impatience that led to opening the Sees Candy box.

Jon came home with an outline on "7 Ways to Give Thanks" by Jon Gordon. It is a great resource to have for anytime a person is feeling low and depressed. Thankfulness and depression can't live together. If you are actively living in a state of thankfulness, it will make a huge impact on your positive approach to life. Here are Jon Gordon's 7 ways to being thankful.

1. Thank you walk - Take a 10 minute walk and say out loud what you are thankful for. Don't make it complicated. Be thankful for daily things, like breathing, and expand to those you love (even if your kid is driving you nuts). This will give you energy, and some physical activity.

2. Gratitude journal - It's a proven fact that journaling has immense benefit in helping you clear your mind, focus your thoughts and create positive change in your life.

3. Meal time thank you's - Go around the table and let each person say what they are thankful for.

4. Thank you prayer - If the only prayer you ever prayed was one of thanks, it would suffice. Instead of asking, make your prayers thankful.

5. Gratitude visit - Write a letter of gratitude to someone, then visit them and read them the letter.

6. Everyday thanks - Don't forget to thank the people closest to you! Thank your children, and spouse, and the grocery clerk!

7. Thank you gifts - Don't make it expensive! Make it meaningful. A flower from your garden can lift someone up.

I pray that all who read this can find a way to feel deep joy and thankfulness this week, and beyond. We are a society that has more than most people outside of the USA. If you have ever been out of our country, you see that we waste more food in a day than what others get all week. We should also be deeply thankful for our servicemen and women, who are sacrificing each day for our freedom and protection.

God Bless,
Sandy

Is My Sin Too Great?

2011-11-13T08:19:00.000-08:00

I often wonder what it is that keeps people from coming to Jesus. It is no secret, through my writings, that the greatest love of my life is Jesus. Some might be surprised at that statement because they know my husband, and they would assume that Jon is the greatest love of my life. The beauty of knowing Jesus, loving Him fully, and having a husband that loves Jesus fully, gives me the freedom to say that Jon is the love of my romantic life on earth, but Jesus offers pure love. I am a sinner, and I need the restoration that only Jesus can give through His grace, mercy and love.

For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18

I think that one of the ways Satan keeps people away from a relationship with God, and His Son, is by heaping a lot of guilt on them. We are all sinners. You may say, "Sandy, you don't even know the half of what I have done. How could I ever go before God with my sin?" Here is the good news about that, God loves you already. God loves you despite the sin. God sent his Son to pay for your sin. If He was unwilling to forgive, He would not go to such great lengths to display His love and have his Son pay for your debt in Hell. That is right, Jesus went to hell and back for you in those three days in the grave. He opened up the shackles of sin and provided a way to His Father for all who trust in Him.

⁵ This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from allsin.
⁸ If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. ¹⁰ If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. 1John 1:5-10

Are you carrying guilt? You need only to search your heart, talk to God, and ask for forgiveness. It seems too simple, right? It is only as hard as being completely open and honest with yourself (God knows what you feel guilty about without you talking). Here are the three steps to lifting the burden of past sins and having a relationship with Jesus.

Confession: Admit what you did. Everyone makes mistakes. Big ones, small ones...sin is all the same to God. Some people don't want to admit they they did something wrong. Don't try to justify yourself. You may have to apologize to someone you have hurt due to your sin. Don't say you can't do that. You can, and you will be amazed at the lightness that will come upon you. Even if they don't forgive you, you can move on knowing you did the right thing before God. Confession cleanses you and releases you from some very heavy burdens, which then paves the way for God's total forgiveness.

Repentance: Not only do you confess, but you should be deeply sorry for your sinful behavior and have no intention of doing it again. True confession means you don't want to disappoint God, or yourself, again.

Forgiveness: God's forgiveness comes the very moment we ask for it. You need to ask forgiveness, and then forgive yourself. You are a new creation! He wants everyone to live free of guilt and shame! He is the restoration you have been looking for.

Do not ever let Satan deceive you into thinking you are not worthy of talking to God. It is the greatest lie. God's promises of love and forgiveness are for everyone!

Lord, I confess my sins to you, knowing full well that you already saw them. Thank you for your promise of forgiveness and cleansing. If there is sin in my life that I am not seeing, reveal it to me. I want to live in the wholeness of your love and forgiveness. Shine your light on me and take away the dark corners of my life. Thank you for paying for my sins so I can approach you with my debt already paid. Amen.

Step out into the light!
Sandy

So Much to be Thankful For

2011-11-08T14:30:00.000-08:00

October is a hopeful month for those effected by breast cancer. Everything turns pink including yogurt caps, pink ribbons on products, pink cleats on athletes, pink jerseys on referees. Jon started a trend this year on the AYSO field, and I think real men wear pink.

This past Sunday, a team of friends and family walked the annual Walk 4 Hope 5K. My group name is "Scouts for a Cure" because my Girl Scout Troop started this with me, and continue to support me by walking. I had almost 40 walkers on my team, and most of us weathered the rain, which was a challenge. The most amazing thing was that exactly the moment the race started, the rain stopped and the sun peaked out of the clouds. I would like to think that God was smiling down on us.

Now it is November, and it is the month of Thanksgiving. I think giving thanks for all that we are blessed with is the greatest source of joy one can have. Even in the toughest of times, there is something to be thankful for. Even if the thanks is that God loves us. I have had some miserable days, but I never for a second doubted God's love. I love the song, "Praise Him in the Storm" because of the power I have personally experienced when I praise God in the midst of tragedy. Gratitude gives us hope for a better tomorrow. When we walk around with a grateful heart, it can have a direct effect on others. Being thankful improves your health! You eat better and take care of yourself when you are feeling positive and hopeful. Being positive can improve grades! I will have to run that by my girls tonight at dinner. I am sure they will be thankful to hear my thanksgiving speech (a little sarcasm there).

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever. 1 Chronicles 16:34

But thanks be to God! He gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57

I am thankful that fall is here, that I am surrounded by great friends and family, and that God is in my corner. I hope you can make a long list of things to be thankful for in your life.

I am thankful that you are reading this!

Blessings,
Sandy

The Sneaky One

2011-11-02T12:52:00.000-07:00

I just finished reading Michael J. Fox's book titled Always Looking Up, The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist. I have always been a big fan of his, and have enjoyed his movies and TV shows. He made the Puente Hills Mall, in Hacienda Heights, famous when it was used in a scene in the blockbuster movie Back to the Future. A little trivia for you.

Micheal writes about work, faith, and love in his book. Micheal was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease over ten years ago, and he has formed a foundation who's goal is to find a cure. He has been on a quite a journey, and I was very interested in what he had to say, but especially on how he defined faith.

Micheal is a spiritual man who recounts how a good friend took him to church as they were growing up. When he was young, Micheal went to a local fair. This particular year, there was a Partridge Family like bus put there by a church. When Micheal went inside, he saw a man with a lit match talking to the kids about hell. The man was told them, "imagine thousands of these burning every part of your body, every inch of your skin. You would just be screaming in pain. Well, kids, that's what hell's like. But, there is good news... Micheal did not wait around to hear the good news. And this effected him greatly in his future outlook on God. Thankfully, Micheal did not walk completely away from God. He married, and took on his wife's Jewish faith, but he has very different feelings about God that are not necessarily Biblical because of his experience as a child.

It often saddens me that God gets represented wrong by those of us who consider ourselves "Christians." We can be bad examples, and have harsh things come out of our mouths that don't express the real message of God. While I think the minister was trying to make an impression on the kids for all the right reasons, the "Hell and Brimstone" approach usually is not effective in someone coming to know God.

Micheal decided to throw out the door that there is a place called Hell, and that is not Biblical. We are told that we not puppets, and out of love for us all, we are given free choice. Hell is separation from God due to a choice of not accepting God's love and forgiveness. Instead of focusing on the place called Hell, we need to focus on our choice on who to follow.

Satan is a liar (John 8:44), and God never breaks his promises (Psalm 119.50). Satan tells us that treasures on earth are important. God tells us nothing materialistic is important on earth. Satan whispers fear and doubt into our ears. God tells us to fear not, and that He will carry our burdens. When hard times come, Satan makes us doubt God's goodness. God tells us He will never leave us or forsake us, and to keep our eyes fixed on Him and he can make all things turn out for the good.

When we believe Satan's lies, we compromise our loyalty to God. We have to keep up our guard and be knowledgeable about God's Word so we can keep our eyes fixed on the one who loves us. God does not want any of us to succumb to Satan's tricks. Satan even tried to trick Jesus, as is written in the Gospels. Jesus, God's Son, paid the price for us already. Now we have the choice to accept His free gift.

The safest road to hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot,
without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts.
C. S. Lewis

Keep your eyes on the God who loves you, and trust that He is a just God who deals with us fairly. He promises that he is patient, and that He pursues us, but He is also not one to force us into anything.

Blessings,
Sandy

Problems Have a Purpose - By Max Lucado

2011-10-25T02:12:00.000-07:00

I know a lot of people who are struggling with health issues or financial problems. Trouble seems to find us in one way or another, that is just how life is. Sometimes the trial we are in is overwhelming, and we wonder why we have to suffer, and what good will come of our pain. I always love Max Lucado's insight. I hope you can ponder Max's writing below, and take comfort that God is our Father, who can use our suffering to make us stronger, and to draw us closer to Him. In my women's Bible Study, it was observed that God is like a parent, who can't always keep us from pain, but can lift us up and set us on firm ground when we take a fall. - Sandy

Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.
Psalm 50:15 NLT

God will use whatever he wants to display his glory. Heavens and stars. History and nations. People and problems. My dying dad in West Texas.

The last three years of his life were scarred by ALS. The disease took him from a healthy mechanic to a bedbound paralytic. He lost his voice and his muscles, but he never lost his faith. Visitors noticed. Not so much in what he said but more in what he didn’t say. Never outwardly angry or bitter, Jack Lucado suffered stately.

His faith led one man to seek a like faith. After the funeral this man sought me out and told me. Because of my dad’s example, he became a Jesus follower.

Did God orchestrate my father’s illness for that very reason? Knowing the value he places on one soul, I wouldn’t be surprised. And imagining the splendor of heaven, I know my father’s not complaining.
A season of suffering is a small assignment when compared to the reward.

Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it. Ponder it. And most of all, use it. Use it to the glory of God. . . .

Your pain has a purpose. Your problems, struggles, heartaches, and hassles cooperate toward one end—the glory of God.—from It’s Not About Me

Heavenly Father, when problems and pain come my way, help me to remember that nothing comes into my life without your approval. Rather than complain and cry about the challenges I face, help me consider them as opportunities to bring glory to you. Give me the strength and patience to bear my burdens in a way that will honor you. I will lift my eyes off the trials and keep them fixed firmly on you, amen.

Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us.
Daniel 3:17

Not a word failed of any good thing which the Lord had spoken to the house of Israel. All came to pass.
Joshua 21:45

A Very Uplifting and Powerful Reason to Believe

2011-10-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

I have watched this a dozen times. God is so creative and amazing. If you are in a questioning time of your life, when you wonder if there really is a God, and does He love you, then watch this six minute video and get a taste of the details He put into creating this earth for YOUR enjoyment.

I hope this takes your breath away, like it did mine.

I Believe!

Sandy

A Crazy Time, But Loving It!

2011-10-18T21:00:00.000-07:00

We had two wonderful events last weekend, which has caused me to be quite distracted and unable to put my thinking cap on for posting on this Blog. I think you will understand when you hear what I have been up to.

Rachel turns "sweet sixteen" this coming Sunday. Last weekend we threw her a huge party, and fifty of her friends were at our house. Thanks to a couple of very talented friends, we decorated for three days using all my Christmas lights, and every purple candle or votive light that I could find on sale at the local Micheal's and the 99 Cent Store. The kids sang karaoke, and danced for four hours straight. It was a magical night. We are proud of the lovely person that Rachel is, and we were grateful that we could celebrate her love of friends in such a fun way.

Our second event was on Sunday. Michelle participated in a horse show that benefited the Susan G. Komen Foundation. She rode in three classes and took 1st place in all of them. We "pinked" the male horse she rides with ribbon and my favorite blanket. Michelle did a great job!

I am thankful that I can be a witness to these milestones in the lives of my family. Cancer is a big part of our life, but does not define us. One of the things that cancer tries to take is our hope and joy, but we don't let it. We celebrate that today was good, and tomorrow has the potential of being better. Our hope comes from the Lord, and He has given us many blessings to enjoy.

Sandy

What If The Answer Was No?

2011-10-04T20:49:00.001-07:00

This past week I had a CT Scan, which I do every four months to check the progress of the lesions on my liver. The results have been stable for about a year, but for some reason, I always seem to get bad news in the fall, so I was a little tense going into this scan. It is amazing how well I feel on my chemo drug, so I most certainly will take "stable", but of course I always pray for complete healing because I don't want to limit God.

This time, I had a different prayer than I have had before. I think I am often attacked by Satan because he does not like what I am doing. All summer I was attacked every Monday with something before the Bible study I did for middle school girls. Satan wants to discourage me, and he wants me to question God's purpose for me. Knowing that, I started to pray that God would completely protect me and not allow Satan to come close to me. I prayed that whatever happened with this scan, that I would accept that it was God's will for me and that I would have the courage to persist, even if my medication changed back to weekly infusions.

I am pleased to say that all of our prayers were answered! God did protect me, and He does have a plan, and for now it means that things are still stable. He even threw in an added bonus of a lesion that looks like it has shrunk. Hallelujah!!

What if the answer had been no? How many times have you (and I) prayed for something, and the answer was no? It sometimes feels as if we get more "no" than "yes". It is really hard when the answer is not what you wanted. It sometimes causes a cry out of, "What are you doing Lord?"

I have been there myself. I have wondered why God did not show His power and healing when I thought the timing would have been perfect. I have wondered why God did not save the day, or even grant a small request that would have not taken much effort on His part.

"God feeds the birds, but He doesn't throw the worms at them." - Patsy Claremont

There are many things I have learned as I have walked this journey of faith, and one is that God knows best. It is not that He is indifferent, or petty, or selfish, or arrogant, or power hungry. It is because He is gracious, wise, all powerful, merciful, and loving. God see the bigger picture, and the timing of what we want may not be good, or the thing we want the most may be detrimental to us. God uses our hard times to refine us and make us stronger. If He really gave us everything we need, we would be selfish and indulgent creatures who are weak and uninteresting. It is our own personal stories of triumph over tragedy that make this earth a hopeful place.

"Everything good that happens to you is because of how you act when life is not fair." - Patsy Claremont

When I prayed this week, while laying in a CT Scan, it was a prayer of, "Not my will Lord, but yours." Had it been His will to disrupt my life and shake things up, I would have accepted it. God would not have changed. My purpose would not have changed. At the end of the day, I would still choose to follow Christ.

When you are faced with an answer you don't like, keep your faith strong. The answer may be no now, but the timing may be right later. If it is something you feel strongly about, keep praying and seeking God's will. God may be saying yes to something else that is better for you.

Lovingly,
Sandy

The Traveler's Gift

2011-10-04T20:46:00.000-07:00

I was very blessed to have been given the opportunity to attend the Women of Faith Conference in Anaheim a month ago. One of the speakers there was (a man) Andy Andrews. He mixed some very funny stories in with some gold nuggets of wisdom and teaching. I picked up one of his books called, The Traveler's Gift.

This book gives seven secrets for success, but reads like a novel, not a self-help book. It is a modern day parable about a man who has found himself in the hardest point of his life and wanting to give up. He is given an opportunity to go back in time and talk to some of the most influential people in our history, and gain wisdom from them as they face the most crucial decisions of their lives.

David Ponder (the main character), visits Abraham Lincoln, King Solomon, Anne Frank, Harry Truman, and others who teach him their secrets of success. These encounters, give David a second chance to live his own life with purpose and courage despite the obstacles he faces.

I am going to tell you the seven secrets, and if any of them strikes a cord with you, I highly recommend reading this book to find out more about the secrets.

1. The buck stops here - you are in control of your destiny
2. I will seek wisdom - you are guided by who you surround ourselves with and what you read
3. I am a person of action - you need to move, not be frozen with fear
4. I have a decided heart - you decide what has power over you, and press toward your goal
5. Today I will choose to be happy - Count your blessings and have hope
6. I will greet this day with a forgiving spirit - Forgiveness is huge
7. I will persist without exception - No fear

All of these secrets were fabulously woven into a beautiful story, but if I had to pick one, the last one moved me to tears. After reading the chapter on being persistent, I realized that I have let busyness, fear, and Satan, get in the way of some of my goals. My biggest goal is to write a book so that I can share my faith is a larger way. Busyness has gotten in the way because there is always something to do, and I feel the need to clear my desk before I sit down and dig into such a big undertaking. Fear of not being able to write a book that flows in a meaningful way is the other obstacle I face. It is easier to write a Blog than to think about an entire book. To top off all of my reasons for not writing, I have Satan who throws fatigue and self-doubt into the mix.

"Reason can only be stretched so far, but faith has no limits. The only limit to your realization of tomorrow is the doubt you hold fast today." - The Traveler's Gift.

In the final encounter, David meets the angel Gabriel. Gabriel shows David a place where all lost hopes and dreams are kept. It is a big heavenly warehouse, of sorts, that holds the dreams that never came true because of despair and discouragement. This was the chapter that had me weeping. How sad to think that a book could be in a big pile of dreams never realized.

"A sailor who fearfully watches stormy seas lash his vessel will always steer an unproductive course. But a wise and experienced captain keeps his eye firmly fixed upon the lighthouse. He knows that by guiding his ship directly to a specific point, the time spent in discomfort is lessened. And by keeping his eye on the light, there never exists one second of discouragement. My light, my harbor, my future is within sight! I will persist without exception. I am a person of great faith." - The Traveler's Gift

Faith is better than reason. Faith can take you farther than you ever thought you could go. I have always expected miracles to happen, and because of that, I have seen them! I will not let fear take away what is promised to me in God's Word. I will persist through pain, fatigue, and fear because I know that God has set the course for me, and my true desire is to follow that course with my eyes fixed on Him, a lighthouse that will never crumble despite the biggest storm.

You have the same tools as I do to attack whatever it is that is holding you back from living a purposeful life in Christ. I pray that you will persist by using God's Word as your stronghold.

Blessings,
Sandy

2011-10-01T15:42:00.000-07:00

For everything this disease has taken, something with greater value has been given - sometimes just a marker that points me in a new direction that I might not otherwise have traveled. Sure, sometimes it is one step forward, two steps back, but after a time with Parkinson's, I've learned that what is important is making that one step count; always looking up. - Michael J. Fox, Always Looking Up.

Time

2011-09-26T02:12:00.000-07:00

This past weekend Jon and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. We were fortunate to get away to a beautiful hotel that is over 100 years old called the Del Coronado in San Diego. This grand hotel sits on a beautiful strip of beach that is mesmerizing, and the perfect spot for reflection and rest. Since we were celebrating such a big milestone, we reflected back on our 25 years together and the highlights of travel with friends and family, and the blessings we have been given.

There is always a little bit of sadness when remembering back on the highlights of one's life. You can't help but wonder why time travels so fast, yet there were moments in your life when you thought you would never get out of a particular phase (like a baby not sleeping through the night). When I think about time, I realize that everything comes to an end. I think it would be hard for anyone to not have "the good old days" imprinted in their memory. Everything changes at some point. A particular group of friends is now spread out and they don't see each other very often. Vacations with kids are different than when they were young and not wrapped up in their own activities.

Time. It has an entirely different meaning when you have been told that you don't have the kind of time you thought you did. You cherish it more, you want desperately to make it count for something, you can't look too far ahead without wondering if you will still be around to see the big events you hope to witness in your children's lives. You can say that we all don't have the assurance that we will live through the next day, but very few people really live thinking those thoughts like a person (and family) diagnosed with a incurable disease. It can sometimes sneak up on you and rob you of the joy of fantasizing about the future. That, of course, is the enemy's doing.

Hope. This word also has a different meaning when you are experiencing a trial that alters all of your dreams of the future. Hope is what helps you to look forward with promise and anticipation, because with hope you have the potential that something could work out for the best. Hope in God is a guarantee that you are on the winning side and that good will come when you give your life to Him.

Psalms 31:24Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD.
Psalms 43:5Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.
Romans 12:12Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

Faith in God makes hope limitless. It is only through hope in Christ that all can find peace, not matter what their circumstance is. When I think about the impossible, I am thankful that I have faith in a God that has the power to make all things possible. I don't have to think too hard about the future because my limited knowledge makes me blind to what is around the next corner. God is looking down at the map and knows the exact path I should take, and He knows your path too. A matter a fact, he is looking at a very complex map that intersects lives and opportunity when we all least expect it! How exciting is that! Hope is more than hoping and praying for something. Hope is praying and believing because it is based on the Word of God.

Time can be exciting when you mix it with faith and hope. There is a different anticipation about things to come that are based on an eternal perspective. When I choose to live looking through the front window of my car, rather than the rear window, my journey is full of unrealized joy and excitement.

One of the greatest joys of my life was marrying Jon Boulware. I remember spending a summer watching Love Boat and Fantasy Island on Saturday nights wishing I had a date. Little did I know, God had the perfect man for me right around the corner. God intersected Jon's path with mine on a chance meeting in a jewelry store. Jon has been my rock, and the spiritual leader of our family. I can say without hesitation that because of Jon, I have the confidence and support to do whatever it is that God calls me to do. He is my biggest fan.

I can't imagine a better person than Jon to spend time with. God gave us two beautiful girls to make our life full, but it is the foundation of our marriage in Christ that has given us the courage to press forward even when times are hard. I am thankful for 25 years of marriage, and I look forward to the future with hope, and promises from God, that there are more good things to come!

Sandy

Lord, Make Me!

2011-09-18T08:10:00.000-07:00

This morning I was working out on my elliptical machine (trying to lose 10 pounds of sugar before my 25th anniversary weekend), and I was listening to Joyce Meyer preach on the television. If you ever want to get some sound teaching, tune into Joyce Meyer in the morning. I am not a coffee drinker (unless it has sugar, hence the elliptical...), but Joyce is my cup of "Joe" in the morning. She can really get me inspired and call me out on some things.

So, I was listening to Joyce talk about the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. The prodigal son starts out saying "give me" my money and I want to go do things my way. He ends up making a mess of his life and waisting his inheritance. At the lowest point for him, he thinks of his father and how he treats his workers. The son has a repentant heart and returns back to his father saying "make me" into your servant. This is a parable of our relationship with God. We want our inheritance, but we want it on our terms. But, when we get to the place of repentance and want to "be made" in God's image and walk in God's ways, we become more mature in our faith and understand that being a servant for the Lord is the highest job we could have. Can you imagine God running toward you to welcome you back home? He is always ready to throw a big party when one of His lost children return!

This story also reminds me of my first lesson this week at Glenkirk's Women's Bible Study. We are studying Luke this year (still time to come join us!), and Luke starts out writing about the events that happened before Jesus' birth, which are very unique. We see some very ordinary people discover the extraordinary works of God.

First, an angel comes and tells a very old man, Zechariah, that he and his very old wife, Elizabeth, are going to have a baby. They have been childless, which was looked upon as a sign of not being in favor with God. Despite their pain, this couple is described as faithful in their worship of God. Zechariah is chosen out of a thousand men to enter the temple, and an angel appears to him. The first thing the angel says is , "Do not be afraid." He then tells Zechariah that he and Elizabeth are going to have a son. Zechariah doubts the words of the angel saying, "We are old." The angel reminds him that he is sent by God. Check-Mate!

This story leads into the story of Mary and an angel appearing before her. His first words are, "Do not be Afraid." This must be one big and awesome angel! Mary has a different reaction to the angel's message. She asks how God is going to give her a son (because she is a virgin), and then says, "I am the Lord's servant." That is some amazing faith to respond so humbly and with such faith!
These true accounts of what happened, before the birth of John the Baptist and Jesus, remind us that though we have our doubts (Zechariah), God will still use us. And through the impossible, God can show His power and will for our lives when we humble ourselves (Mary) and become His servant. He is not a task master who works us hard! He is a God who walks along with us showing us the way and wanting to make our burdens lighter.

It does not matter where you are or what your social status is. You can be sitting in the pews or preaching on the stage, or writing a Blog, or working in a cubicle, or homeless. You have to come to your own personal decision to have God "make you" into His servant. God has a plan and a purpose for each one of us. Sometimes it seems like a long wait to feel that you are doing something purposeful for God. Zechariah and Elizabeth continued to serve God even though they did not get their biggest prayer answered. God had different timing. Mary accepted how God was going to use her at an early age, even though she had to give up her own hopes and dreams for the future.

I prayed a prayer after listening to Joyce for God to "make me" more of a servant. Whatever it takes. Refine me, show me where I need to become more sensitive and humble. I don't want to be religious, I want to be relational and a reflection of the promises that God makes to everyone.

Sandy

Where was God on 9/11?

2011-09-14T02:21:00.000-07:00

Do you remember what September 12 was like in 2001? It was a day of continued grief, disbelief, patriotism, and faith. The aftermath of September 11th caused people to question their mortality, their safety, and their faith. Church attendance increased by the hundreds as people tried to come to grip with what had happened. Sadly, some were looking for an easy answer, and they soon got discouraged and did not stay. But, we can all say that the patriotism and sense of community was at an all time high. We mourned together, and were humbled by the courage that was displayed in the midst of such a hateful act. What was meant to cut us to the core and devastate us, actually made us strong and more determined to fight for our freedom.

Where was God on September 11th? There are many stories of faith and courage from that day, but one of the stories that deeply touched my heart was the story of Todd Beamer. He was the man who, with the help of others, attacked the hijackers so that the plane he was on would not crash into a building. I read his wife's book many years ago. It is called "Let's Roll" by Lisa Beamer. It is a great book about her faith, and his. Lisa wrote this:

When I stepped off the bus at the crash site in Shanksville on September 17. I looked over at Todd's sister, Michele, and said, "He's not here." Nothing significant of Todd Beamer remained in that field in Pennsylvania. And yet he was more alive than ever at that very moment, enjoying a reality in heaven more incredible than anything we could hope to imagine on earth. He's in the presence of God himself! This heartfelt knowledge changed the devastation of that place into peace and, as difficult as it may be for some to believe, even joy.

Some people ask how a God could allow such pain and suffering. Here is an article I came across and could not find the author:

When thinking of September 11, we tend to forget the thousands of miracles that occurred on that day. Hundreds of people were able to flee the buildings just in the nick of time. A small handful of firemen and one civilian survived in a tiny space in a stairwell as the one of the towers collapsed around them. The passengers on Flight 93 defeating the terrorists was a miracle in and of itself. Yes, September 11 was a terrible day. Sin reared its ugly head and caused great devastation. However, God is still in control. His sovereignty is never to be doubted. Could God have prevented what happened on September 11? Of course He could, but He chose to allow the events to unfold exactly as they did. He prevented that day from being as bad as it could have been. Since September 11, how many lives have been changed for the better? How many people have placed their faith in Christ for salvation as a result of what happened? The words of Romans 8:28 should always be in our minds when we think of 9-11, “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, and are called according to His purpose.”

I have no doubt that God was very close to us all on September 11, 2001, but the evil that happened on that day was not his doing. God allows all of His creation free choice, which is why we have hate in our world. We also have free choice as to whether we accept God and make Him a part of our daily life. A relationship with God's Son can easily be put off, but we never know when our last day will be. Wouldn't it be better to live with the assurance that is free to all who seek out the Lord?

I may be afraid of many things, but where I am going the moment I take my last breath on this earth is not one of them. You can have that assurance too!

God Bless,
Sandy
P.S. A MRI has shown that the pain in my shoulders and neck are not cancer related. Yeah! I will now start searching for a good massage therapist.

Heavenly Thoughts

2011-09-08T11:39:00.000-07:00

I recently read the book "Heaven is for Real" by Todd Burpo. It is about his son, Colton, and his experience with heaven. Colton happens to be four years old, and he has very definite memories of being in heaven after nearly losing his life due to a ruptured appendix. I highly recommend this book because it is a quick read, and a delightful insight into heaven.

Some of the things that four year old Colton talks about is seeing a grandfather (nobody is old) he never met, a sister that was mis-carried that he never heard about, and what Jesus looks like (there is a picture in the book). Yes, there are animals in heaven! All of his recollections are cross-referenced by his father (who is a pastor) with scripture. This story is a sweet one that gives a glimpse of what we have to look forward to when we are called God's child and meet Him in all His glory.

I bet we have all wondered what it will be like when we take our last breath on this earth and enter the life after. We have fleeting thoughts on who we will see and what we will do. Colton was not bored, and he talks about what he learned as he walked with Jesus. He also describes the incredible love and peace he felt when he was in the presence of God. Since Colton can't read or write, his matter a fact details our mesmerizing.

I think it is good to ponder what is ahead of us. We sometimes need to take ourselves out of this world and realize there is more ahead and we need to be aligned with that goal of being in the presence of God for eternity. The alternative is not good, it is separation from God, and the opposite of peace and love. There is room for everyone in heaven, but some will ignore the greatest invite they will ever receive.

We have all had an occasion where we wish we could be an invited guest at a party. When I was in my teens, there was a couple that owned a home up in the hills of Hacienda Heights and it was a magnificent Tudor mansion. In my simple life, I had never seen such beauty in a home. It had the most beautiful artwork, and a winding staircase with red carpet and a knight in the entrance. We were told about a secret room off the library. Their daughter's bedroom was the biggest room I had ever seen. They had a tennis court and a racket ball court, and the most beautiful garden for entertaining. This couple was very generous in hosting some gatherings for our church, and allowing kids to come. If you were invited to one of these gatherings you felt very special, and there was no question that you would clear your calendar to attend.

Imagine driving by this house and wishing you could go in. If you did not know the owner of the house, you would not be invited to the party. How sad it would be to sit outside the gate hearing laughter and music and not be able to go inside because you are not on the guest list. Also, imagine if you you knew the owner of the house and got an invitation, but chose not to accept it because there were better things to do with your time. Now you sit outside the gate wishing you would have accepted the invitation.

Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God^[a]; believe also in me. ² My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? ³ And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. ⁴ You know the way to the place where I am going.” John 14:1-4

Jesus tells us that He is preparing a place for us, and it will be magnificent. First, if he can make the earth in seven days, and He is still under construction in heaven, it must be beyond anything we can imagine! Jesus also tells us that everybody is invited, but clearly not everyone will accept the invitation. There will be people who sits outside the gate when life is over wishing he/she knew God. They might have heard the invitation to come to Him, but decided they did not have time to accept the invitation.

It is not about the house (heaven), it is about the owner. I have always tried to live my life in reverse with the goal of being in the loving presence of God when I leave this earth. That means that I want to know Him now so that I can fully appreciate what is ahead. It is also my greatest desire to make sure that everyone I know, and even those I don't, hears about God's invitation.

Colton's story about seeing heaven is amazing. It gives me great peace to know that what is ahead is not scary at all. When I take my last breath on this earth, I will be in the presence of God's incredible love and peace. I also like that we will still be learning about God's ways, and will be functioning beings in heaven! Very few people want to sit around playing a harp!

Heaven is for real. It is written about in God's word, and given brief descriptions. If you don't know where you are going when your time is up, you might want to act on the invitation that is offered at this very moment to join Jesus in eternity.

Sandy

Healing of the Soul

2011-09-02T13:29:00.000-07:00

"And I would heal them." That's a different offer from: "And I would forgive them." It's a different offer from: "And I will give them a place in heaven." Jesus is offering healing to us. Look at what he does to people who are broken. How does he handle them? The blind are able to see like a hawk. The deaf are able to hear a pin drop. The lame do hurdles. The corroding skin of the leper is cleansed and made new. The woman with the issue of blood stops hemorrhaging. The paralyzed servant hops out of bed. They are, every last one of them, healed. Now follow this closely: everything Jesus did was to illustrate what he was trying to say. Here-look at this-this is what I'm offering to do for you. Not just for your body, but more important, for your soul. I can heal your heart. I can restore your soul. - John Eldredge

Fear of Doubt

2011-08-27T09:51:00.000-07:00

One of the books that I read this summer was "Fearless" by Max Lucado. It is an outstanding book, and I highly recommend it. I have never met a person that did not fight some kind of fear.

We fear being sued, finishing last, going broke; we fear the mole on the back lawn, the new kid on the block, the sound of the clock as it ticks us closer to the grave. We have investment plans, created elaborate security systems, and military might, yet we depend on mood-altering drugs more than any other generation in history. For all the noise fear makes and room it takes, fear does little good. - Lucado

This week I read an article in the Tribune that stated America's religious faith is waning. This made me sad, but also makes sense as I look at the mess our country is in. Isn't it interesting that as our country's faith decreases, we see our economy doing the same? When we don't have Godly people running local and big businesses, banks, our state, or country, we have dishonesty, selfishness, and corruption. When people don't seek God's will in their life, or turn to scripture for instruction on how to treat others, our world gets out of balance.

"Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold." Matthew 24:9-12

As I write this, I am watching the news on hurricane Irene. There was an earthquake on the east coast this week. We had the worst tornado season this year. This is not news to God. This was foretold thousands of years ago.

"Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains." Matthew 24:6-8

In Max Lucado's book, there is a chapter called "Fear That God Is Not Real." Max shares about the time that he doubted the story of Jesus. He was getting ready to give an Easter sermon and was looking at the story of Jesus perched on the cemetery stone, burial clothes in a heap, Roman soldiers scared stiff, and Max wondered if it was all a bit of a stretch. Was this urban legend or gospel truth?

The story of Jesus' resurrection becomes real when we look at how He reacted to the doubts of His scared disciples. We can also take note of this when we doubt him. Jesus did not leave them alone with their doubts, he showed himself in flesh, and then he sat them down for a Bible class explaining the Old Testament and the fulfilment of scripture. Jesus makes our doubts His highest concern.

While Jesus was talking to his disciples, they felt their hearts burning within. The power of what had been done changed them forever. From that moment on they were obligated to share the gospel at all cost.

Pastor Jim has had a wonderful sermon series this summer called "Truth". I highly recommend going onto www.glenkirkchurch.org and listening to the sermon pods. A couple of weeks ago he talked about how we are obligated to live a certain way when we come to know Christ as our savior. The word "obligated" has rung in my ears since I heard that message. Jim pointed out that many will not come to know Christ because they are afraid of that obligation. People know that if they take that step, their lives will change. We want to hold on to what is familiar and we don't like change. We don't want to be obligated to anyone. Doubts about the validity of scripture is a good reason not to be obligated to read it for yourself. I am amazed at how many people say they don't understand scripture, but they have never really attempted to read it. I think they are afraid of how it will change their life.

Pastor Jim laid out five reasons why he believes, and I think Jim nailed it on the head for me.

1. We are hard-wired for morality - immorality goes against our grain
2. We are hard-wired for religiosity - we search for a God
3. Creation - grey whales, redwood trees, roses, giraffes, babies...need I say more.
4. The story of the Jewish Messiah - Why would anyone make-up a story like Jesus?
5. We can have a healing experience from God (physical & spiritual) - I can vouch for this one

What is holding you back? What do you fear?
The answers are all in God's Word.
Read it and doubt no more.
God never wants us to be afraid.

Sandy

A Summer Inventory

2011-08-20T09:50:00.000-07:00

Summer will be officially ended this Monday when the girls go back to school. Rachel is looking forward to her sophomore year, although she can't get used to the word "sophomore" yet because she loved saying the word "freshy." Michelle is ready to fly at middle school, and is excited to be changing classes six times, and being back with her friends.

It was a great summer for us that started with All Star Softball for most of June. Vacation Bible School and our own family vacation in July, and trying to hold on to the last weeks of summer and make them last in August. Rachel got her permit, which is really odd for all of us. I remember being behind the wheel and learning to drive, which is why seeing Rachel behind the wheel is scary! Let's just say we both over-react in much the same way.

One of the highlights of my summer was hosting a Bible Study for middle school girls in La Verne. It was a great time with Michelle, and the other girls that I adore in our community of friends. I think you always learn the most when you are put in the position of being the teacher. I knew I was doing something right when on each Monday something would happen that would attempt to rob me of preparation time and a free spirit. In other words, Satan was trying to discourage me (car problems, broken hot water heater, allergic reaction to CT, etc...) and I knew I was doing something good if he was working so hard against me.

One of the last lessons the girls and I studied was about true beauty and what is going on inside our hearts. I drove home this Godly principle by using a house down the street for an illustration. This house in on a very well traveled street in our area. Most of us pass this house on the way down the hill to school or shopping. It started as an average house in a planned community of other homes that looked the same. New owners came in and started remodeling the entire inside and outside. We all watched as this house transformed to a beautiful (now custom) home. I am sure I was not the only one that admired the lovely details of this home, and wondered what it looked like inside.

In the middle of summer, the house went up for sale. Jon and I said to each other that we would love to look inside that house. We have a good friend that is a Real Estate agent, and we knew that he would have seen the house. Jon and I could have not been more shocked at the news. The owners of the house had to abandon it because of mold! Apparently, they cut corners and things did not get properly sealed, perhaps cheap material was used, and the house is so full of mold that it will have to be gutted and practically knocked down to the ground.

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:19,20

My lesson for the girls had nothing to do with the real owners of that house. I do not know them, and I am making no judgement about them. But it is a good lesson for us all on what is being seen by others and what is really going on inside our house (your body and mind). Our body is our temple, and it should not be a place of glitz and beauty on the outside, and corrupt on the inside. Have you ever known a person that looks all put together and well dressed, but when you really got to know them they were ugly because of their attitude, gossip, boasting, greed, or selfishness? Have you ever had your mouth water for a beautiful piece of fruit and then open it up and find there is a worm inside?

It is easy to find fault in others, but there are times when we need to take inventory of our own life and look at the ways our attitude and actions are stunting our spiritual growth, AND perhaps the spiritual growth in others. God's effectiveness is either enhanced or hindered by the way we live. People, and kids, are watching. This is especially true if you are trying to teach about life in Christ. Others learn by what they see, not always by what they hear.

Scripture tells us that we need to be a light of Christ, and a city on a hill for all to see. This is not only for God's glory, but for our own good. If our house is not cleaned up inside, then it is not good for the very health of your own being. If disappointment, anger, envy, depression, (to list a few) are consuming you inside, then your house is unhealthy. Only the love of God can clean up these things.

I am most of all a teacher to my own girls, and so I have taken inventory and discovered some things I need to work on. I don't think I need to make it a long list (although I could), but I have been prayerfully asking God to reveal to me what He would like me to work on. I am not saying that change is easy, but it is good to take stock and try to redirect some potential damage that could effect the overall look inside our house. I love this prayer:

Wherever I am, whatever I do,
O God, please help me to live
in a way that makes me credible
as your representative. - Egner

Summer is over, but I am looking forward to getting back to writing (I took a little break from electronics), and getting back to a schedule that is more balanced and purposeful. I have some books to share with you that I read over the summer. And, I am sure that that I will have some personal house cleaning stories ahead. I am always a work in progress!
God Bless,
Sandy

True Beauty

2011-08-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, Rachel did a pageant. This was our first experience with such an event, and it was something that Rachel has wanted to do for a long time. The pageant we chose had the same philosophy as we do, which is to focus on inner beauty and not outer beauty. Although it had a formal wear event, the other judged portions were about personal statements and being interviewed by judges who ask random questions. This was a great experience for Rachel in many ways, and we are proud of her for setting a goal and getting the most out of the moment.

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3,4

This verse reminds us women (men can learn from this too) that what is in the inside is of greater worth than our outer appearance. Some will read this and say that we need to walk around looking plain and dowdy, but I don't feel that this is the point. Back in that day there were women who dressed to seek attention (see how the Bible never gets out-dated), and they walked around acting spiritual, but inside they were ugly. We can have the best designer clothes, but it won't hide a sour face or mean spirit.

I have a treasured little book, by Joyce Landorf, that is titled The Fragrance of Beauty. It was first published in 1973, but it came into my hand already a little tattered after I was married in 1986. I liked what she had to say because she dispelled the feeling that a Godly woman had to look plain and unappealing. She wrote that looking pleasing to others is not a bad thing, but the most important feature is to shine God's light from the inside out.

"My mother had a unique beauty in that very often people could not recall a single detail of her face but they would say, "She was the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. My Mother's deep beauty went hand in hand with her faith and her unfailing trust in Jesus, her dearest friend." -Joyce Landoff

I loved her chapter titles:

Worry: A Scampering Mouse

Inferiority: The Green-Eyed Cat

Anger: Mad As a Wet Hen

One of her best chapters is titled "The Gracious Beauty of Forgiveness and Love." In this chapter she talks about how anger can rob a person of their beauty. "A woman of beauty accepts things which cannot be altered, and she accepts them without a martyr complex. She can be sensitive and alert to the needs of others because she has known God's forgiveness and love in those same areas of her life. "

This is a concept that we can all make note of as we struggle to live a life that is pleasing to God, and reflective of His love. I am not sure this is ever a trait that can be perfected. It seems that we all battle our own selves and the need to be right. But, this is certainly worth praying about and striving for. I know that when I act gracious and forgiving, it makes me feel good inside. When I am a raging lunatic at my kids, I don't like myself later. I am thankful for forgiveness.

I have a friend who is in her 80's, but she is the most beautiful person I know. She is a Godly and wise woman. She has a twinkle in her eyes, and a smile on her lips. She can laugh a hearty laugh, and she can pray a powerful prayer. She is full of faith, love, forgiveness, and grace. I told her one day that if God blesses me with a long life, I want to look like her. She has not had an easy life, but she has had a purposeful life. She is greatly loved by many. She is beautiful.

True beauty is that inner spark that shines outward. If you are feeling robbed of that kind of beauty, then think of ways to give to others by word or deed. Even a simple smile can change some body's day.

Sending a smile to you!

Sandy

Road Trip 2011

2011-07-26T07:54:00.000-07:00

My family and I are on the last leg of our summer road trip. We have been traveling for 10 days in our motor home, and our adventure has taken us all the way up to northern California and along the coast to Santa Cruz, Eureka, and Crescent City.

We have mainly been seekers of Redwoods. We have hiked, ridden bikes, and driven through some very amazing trees. These giants of the forest never cease to amaze me. Not only are some of them thousands of years old, but they have an amazing design (by our creator), to protect themselves.

Redwood trees are the tallest trees on earth. They are found mostly right along the California coast due to the type of weather that is there. They do not like frost or severe cold weather, but the fog from the ocean is pleasant for them. They can be as old as 2000 years, and grow 30 stories high.

Like their cousin, the Sequoia, they are fire and bug retardant. When a tree is injured from fire, or cut into, it will grow a burl, which is a lumpy outer growth that will produce another tree growth attached to the original. Redwoods also like to grow in groups and inter mingle their root systems. Their roots are surprisingly shallow, so they depend on each other for protection.

As always, when I am walking through our country side, I am thankful for God's creative mind, and his lessons that come from the very land and creatures He has made. When I see a Redwood, I think of how God made us fire retardant when we are His child. Nothing can separate us from his love, and He promises He will walk through the fire with us, and not let it harm us.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
Isaiah 43:2

What a promise! I have clung to that verse over the past four years! He will never let us be consumed by fire (testing), and will walk with us until the end. God will see us through!

I also love how the Redwoods don't fight for sunlight or space, they grow together and share the root system so that they can be stronger. That is also Biblical and the desire of God's heart for us. That is why I believe so strongly in being part of a church family. You have a common root system that can strengthen your relationship with God, and keep you strong when trials come. Anyone who stands alone during hard times, is weakened and an easy target for Satan.

I have another little fun side note from my trip. While in Klamoth, we saw some people stopped and taking pictures off the highway overpass. The Klamoth River flowed underneath, and we discovered that they were looking at a mother and baby grey whale. We got out and soaked in the sight, which has not happened since 1989. Whales are following me now! That is a joke that faithful readers will get due to my amazing adventure in Hawaii. (see April 2011 Blog). I was once again mesmerized by these giant creatures, and overjoyed to see one so close. Of course, I was also concerned with her getting back to the ocean. I was told that some marine biologist were watching her, and they had plenty of food for the time being.

It has been a wonderful trip with Jon and the girls. We are in San Francisco and looking forward to seeing the city today. Praise God! I am feeling great, and it has been a wonderful family time.

Blessings to all,
Sandy

Fearless

2011-07-16T00:36:00.000-07:00

I am often asked how I live with such peace. The answer is that I don't always. It is quite easy to let fear enter in your thoughts, especially when there is something to be worried about like health or unemployment.

Last week, Jon had a colonoscopy. When the doctor came into the recovery area, he had a picture of Jon's colon with something circled. He said that he found a polyp, but it was benign. I was amazed at how many things went through my head in the second that passed between the word "Polyp" and "Benign." Fear of telling my girls they had another parent with cancer was my first thought.

I had been fighting a little fear myself recently because I was due for a CT Scan, and I feared it would tell me that I had to change my treatment. Thankfully, the scan came back "stable" and I can continue on with my summer with the reassurance that everything is good. Yeah!

I am reading a book called "Fearless" by Max Lucado. This is what he says about fear:

"Fear is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy."

Fear is a horrible emotion to fight. Fear ususally creeps up on me when I am not reading God's Word, and I have let my prayer time get swallowed up by my own busy life. It usually starts with a lethargic feeling. Then I wonder why I am so tired. Is my body working hard to fight something that is wrong? Is the cancer growing? My mind takes off down a dark road, and fear is my companion.

The “spirit of fear” is mentioned in 2 Timothy 1:7: "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

We are told over and over, through God's Word, that the spirit of fearfulness and timidity does not come from God. In order to overcome fear, we need to completely trust God. From Genesis to Revelation, we are reminded to "Fear not."

One of my favorite fear fighting verses is Isaiah 41:10, which says, “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

We all fall into the pit of fearing what the future holds. We wonder what will become of us. But Jesus reminds us that God cares for the birds of the air, so how much more will He provide for His children? “So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows” Matthew 10:31.

Another verse I like is Psalm 56:11 which says, “In God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” When I stop and analyze my fear, I quickly realize that my biggest enemy, Satan, is always behind my fears and fanning the flame. Then I start to read all of the verses that talk about fear and trusting in God, and I feel hopeful again. Trusting God is a refusal to give in to fear. It is a turning to God even in the darkest times and trusting Him to make things right. This trust comes from knowing God and knowing that He is good. As Job said when he was experiencing some of the most difficult trials recorded in the Bible, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him”

Once we have learned to put our trust in God, we will no longer be afraid of the things that come against us. We will be like the psalmist who said with confidence “…let all who take refuge in you be glad; let them ever sing for joy. Spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may rejoice in you” Psalm 5:11.

Hope trumps fear any day!

Blessings,
Sandy

God is Jealous

2011-07-08T06:50:00.000-07:00

My first Monday I had FOURTEEN girls at my first Jr. High Girl's Bible Study!

We started off our first time together talking about the attributes of God. I asked them to write down. in their journal, thoughts about who God is, and how they would describe Him. they had some very good answers, and described Him as powerful, wise, loving, forgiving, perfect, and always there. This was great news to know that these young girls have learned and felt God in these ways.

We then looked up scripture to support these characteristics, because we want to always back-up our human thoughts to the Holy Word of God. The girls were quite eager to look up verses, and we found a few that surprised some.

Exodus 34:14 tells us that God is jealous. Girls, especially, don't think of jealous as something God would ever want to be. Females are jealous little creatures that want what others have, or get our feelings hurt when someone did not invite us somewhere. Jealousy can be tied to suspicion, mistrust, and hostility towards others.

God's jealousy comes out of a fervent desire to protect what is His. He thinks of us as His precious jewel and we wants our entire heart to be devoted back to Him. God's jealousy does not come from insecurity, pride, or spite. God is supreme over all things, and especially over the human race that He creaated.

Jesus said that putting no other God's before Him was the most important commandment out of the ten God gave Moses. God does not want to share our time with other God's. What he is saying is that God wants to have a relationship with us, and all too often we put things before Him. Sleep, busy schedules, money, friends... We choose to spend our times thinking about other things and not spending time talking with God.

I find that my biggest struggle is making time for MEANINGFUL conversations with God during the day. I am running in five directions most of the time, and so I have to be very protective of my morning time with God. It can get shortened very quickly if I sleep in too late and the kids are up. There is no quiet after that! It is really nice when I can hook up with God throughout the day with short prayers or thoughts about certain things. I also love listening to God's Word through music in my car. God likes to be involved in our daily routines.

The best part about God being jealous, is that it works on our behalf. When we put Him before all else in our life, then we are gauranteed that He is looking out for our best interest. We should always be examining our life style and prayerfully asking God to reveal what has come before Him. Then we need to take action and find ways to put our time with God as our priority.

I am glad that the word jealousy has a new meaning when we apply it to God. Jealousy is definitely an ugly words when we use it negatively in our life. God's jealousy is out of love and a deep desire to be with us at all times.

Sandy

Founded on the Word of God

2011-07-04T04:03:00.000-07:00

I am looking forward to being with good friends as we celebrate Independence Day. One of our traditions is to attend the 4th of July Parade in LaVerne. It is a small town parade that makes your heart swell when you see the firetrucks coming down the street with the American Flag flying from their sides and their sirens on. We have a huge military representation that makes you proud. We also have many churches that create floats and play spiritual/patriotic music.

Have you ever noticed that all of the patriotic songs that we love the most on July 4th are written about God and country? It is because our country was founded on Judeo-Christian beliefs. The first act of our very 1st Congress was to pray and read from the Bible. Franklin Roosevelt prayed before Normandy. George Bush prayed before Desert Storm. Just about every President has made a statement regarding the foundation of this country and God.

Max Lucado writes, "God does not need the United States in order to advance His cause. He lobbies no country and depends on no government. “No, for all the nations of the world are nothing in comparison with him. They are but a drop in the bucket, dust on the scales. He picks up the islands as though they had no weight at all. The nations of the world are as nothing to him. In his eyes they are less than nothing—mere emptiness and froth”(Isaiah 40:15, 17 NLT).Suppose—just suppose—God’s glory became America’s prayer and priority: “Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory” (Psalm 115:1). Suppose our elected officials daily asked. How can we honor God in our decisions? How can this school introduce students to God? How can this army promote the name of God? Remember, who manages the hearts of rulers? Who prompts the decisions of kings? God does. God can change a nation.

For that reason, we must pray—pray with all our hearts—that America would turn back to God."

“Help us, O God our Savior, for the glory of your name; deliver us and forgive our sins for your name’s sake.” (Psalm 79:9)

Staying Within the Lines

2011-06-26T07:13:00.000-07:00

William Bachrach took an interest in a 15 year old boy named Johnny. Bachrach was the head swimming coach at an Illinois Ahtletic Club. He worked every day developing Johnny's strokes, helping him to improve his breathing, his turns, and starts. He gave his student a mental picture of what he wanted.

There was a problem with Johnny's swimming. When Johnny swam at his home pool he did great, but when he swam at away meets his times dropped dramatically. It was at one of the away meets that the frustrated coach finally figured out what was happening. After a meet that Johnny should have easily won, the coach asked him to get back into the pool and swim. It was then that the coach noticed that Johnny was not swimming straight. The coach realized that at their home pool there were thick black tiles that marked the lanes, but at the away meets there were none.

Coach Bachrach put his hat down on a kickboard at the end of the pool and asked Johnny to make the hat his goal and to draw a mental line to it. Johnny did this and his time was faster than ever! From that moment on, Johnny had a mental line that he could use at any pool, and by staying within those lines he ended up swimming in two Olympic games. Johnny Weissmuller won five Olympic medals and went on to be a movie hero by playing Tarzan!

Monday I will be starting a summer Bible Study for Jr. High Girls at my home. This will be a first for me, so I am a little nervous. I have felt a tugging at my heart for sometime now, and with much thought and prayer, I am going to get out of my comfort zone and lead a study that I hope will draw the girls to a personal relationship with God our Father, and Jesus our reedemer.

My goal for these girls is to draw that mental line for them that they can refer to any anytime during their day. As parents, we draw lines for our kids, and we can inforce them rather well when they are on our home turf. The problem is that our children have to swim out in the real world where there are very blurry lines. I hope to give them a line to focus on so they can win the race of a godly life.

This is a great story for us all. What do we set our sights on in this life? Is it money, popularity, or job status? We need to think about what our ultimate finish is going to look like and race for that moment. Living life in reverse helps us focus on what is important and then strengthening the relationships and characteristics we would like to be known for.

I want to be remembered as a woman with great faith.

What do you want to be remembered for?

Sandy

The Father's in My Life

2011-06-19T06:55:00.001-07:00

The word "Father" is a special one for me. I know that I am very blessed to be able to think upon that word with great affection because there are many who have not been blessed with great fathers in their life. Many of you have commented on my faith through this journey I am on. It is with great appreciation to my Father (and Mother) that I have the faith that I do. They brought me up in an environment that gave me the foundation for the relationship that I have with God, my Heavenly Father. My parents were very involved in our church (Hacienda Heights Baptist), and the church became my second home. We did family camps, we hosted youth events at my house. My parents even worked with the college kids and I saw them at work in the lives of others.

My Father, Marvin Weston, has always been an example of what God wants for all of us. My Dad taught me that I can't have everything I ask for because it is not always in my best interest. My Dad taught me about good stewardship with my money and how to treat others with dignity. My Dad is so friendly and caring towards others it seemed like we could never go anywhere that he did not run into someone he knew. My parents taught me to pray and live my life according to God's Word.

My Father is the type that is very hugable. He gives big hugs, and I still like to sit and cuddle with him and feel safe. He worked at Foster Freeze as a young man, and he became a pro at making malts. He was also known for hot roding in his blue Chevrolet (1956?), so when it came time for me to drive, Mom had to take over. I had to throw that story in because Rachel is in Driver's Training!

My Husband is also that same type of Father to our kids. Jon is the most caring and thoughtful man I have ever met. Some of you have received cards from him encouraging you during difficult times, or a comic that he thought you would get a chuckle out of. Jon prays with our children each night and is an example to them on how to talk to God in one's own language. Thanks to Jon we all get up on Sunday mornings and get to church even when HE felt like sleeping in. Jon teaches our kids Godly principles about money and goals. Jon was the one who prompted our family to write a Family Mission Statement.

I get compliments about Jon all of the time. He is amazing as a coach of kids. He is very good at complimenting them, and instructing them. He is always looking to be fair and build up every child's confidence. I constantly have parents coming up to me and telling me how thankful they are for Jon. He is an amazing light for God in the mission field of sports in our community. Because my parents were on every committee known to church life, I always thought we needed to be the same. I see now that Jon's mission is just being himself and having people see the reflection of Christ through whatever he chooses to do with his talents.

God, my Heavenly Father, is the richest relationship I have ever know. While the two most important men in my life are amazing, they can't even come close to the amazing love of God. The scripture's tell us that God's love for His children is slow to anger, and abounding in love. The word sacrifice has a new meaning when you realize that God sacrificed his Son so that the ransom could be paid for us to enter into heaven and be pure enough to stand before Him.

The words that describe God are numerous. He is Holy, majestic, protector, redeemer, provider, protecting, merciful, comforting, truth, creator, almighty, omnipotent, impossible, alpha and omega, Lord of everything... He is beyond our capability to comprehend, and for that I am thankful. I don't want a predictable God, I need to know that even the impossible could happen, and that He can do things we could never imagine. I have been the recipient of the impossible happening, and I have seen miracles in others.

Generation after generation is documented through the fathers of history. What sets certain fathers apart is their legacy to the next generation. My father gave me a legacy to hand down to my children, and my husband is doing the same. There is nothing more precious than giving faith, hope and love to your children. Knowing God as your father is the greatest gift you can receive, and the best one to give. God will never disappoint when you know His heart.

Thank you to all the faithful Dads out there who walk before their children with faith, and show them the way to salvation!

Love,
Sandy

Mercy

2011-06-14T02:28:00.000-07:00

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” Psalm 23:6, NKJV

What a huge statement. Goodness and mercy follow the child of God each and every day! This is a promise from a perfect God to His imperfect children. When we have given our heart to Him, he follows us with mercy!!! I am so thankful that my sins don't follow me all the days of my life. I would be done for. I have blown it too many times. Just when I think I am not worthy to even speak Jesus' name or ask for another answer to prayer; He heaps on love and goodness and mercy. I feel so undeserving, and yet it is a gift that I can't resist taking.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me—not some, not most, not nearly all—but all the days of my life.

Sandy

My Testimony at Glenkirk

2011-06-12T06:27:00.001-07:00

My journey of faith begins in December of 2006, when I woke up with a stiff neck. Over the next four months, the pain became increasingly worse. Finally, I had an MRI and two days later my husband and I were called into the doctor’s office and told that I had a broken neck. That is when the word cancer first came into our lives. That night, after we tucked our two young girls into bed, we held each other and prayed that it was all a big mistake.

The next week, a bone scan revealed that I had lesions all over my bones. I was fortunate to get into City of Hope, and after many tests, a 7mm tumor was found in my breast that had gone undetected by a mammogram. In what would be one of the lowest points of my life, I was told I have stage 4 breast cancer that had metastasized to my bones. What I have is incurable.

Those of you who have been in a place of being told horrific news can attest there is nothing more surreal that having your life change in an instant by one word. My family was instantly plunged into the valley of the shadow of death, and the fear and anxiety that resides in that valley can be consuming.

One of the questions I have been asked the most over the past four years is, “Sandy, how do you live with such joy and peace knowing that your life is hanging in the balance?” Another question often asked is, “How can you still trust in God when He has allowed this to happen to you?”

The peace that surpasses all understanding, which is written about in the Bible, came to me early on. When I started seeing how God had set in motion the smallest of details years ahead of my diagnosis, I was humbled. Not only had He given me an amazing husband, family, and support group, but the creator of the universe sent me an envelope that came in the mail the day after hearing the first horrible news. Actually, the envelope was from Anthony (our children’s minister), but the message was from God and would change my way of thinking from that point on.

Inside was a Sunday school lesson I was to teach to the kids that Sunday, and it was titled “God is at His best, when life is at its worst.” The verses that accompanied that lesson were Romans 8:28 that says,” All things can work to the good for those who love Him and have been called according to His purpose.” The second verse was from Hebrews 13:5 that says, “God will never leave me or forsake me.”

Because of my foundation in Christ, and my knowledge of the Word of God, I took both of these verses at face value because I know that God does not lie. If I live according to His purpose, and not my own, then He can work all things out AND through it all He will be by my side.

It all came down to wanting to do God’s will and realizing that I could be part of His masterpiece. Slowly I started to see how my situation was an opportunity to share my great love for Christ. And the more I shared, the more I became filled up with joy and peace. There was a direct correlation between the two. I gave it over to God, and in return he gave me something that has become priceless in my life, my Blog.

I started a Blog (a website that is accessed by the internet), where I could share my faith as I walked through pain, anxiety, disappointment, and triumph. It has become a ministry which completely astounds even me. I had never been much of a writer, but God asked me to be the typist, and I could not say no. Soon family and friends were sending others to my Blog for inspiration, and my Guestbook on the Blog started filling up with words of encouragement and prayer for me from people all over the world. It is always my hope that my Blog will touch people in whatever trial they are in. Today I average about 50-100 hits a week, and I have had almost 19,000 hits over the past four years.

Doing God’s will does not always come easy. Our own hopes and dreams come into play on a regular basis. It is a battle to keep putting God before myself. From the very beginning of my battle with cancer, I had a vision of God completely healing me so that I could be a walking miracle for Him. Although I will never give up on what I know God can do by is power and grace, I can also see how God has used my cancer (in all its stages) for His glory.

Over a year ago, the cancer metastasized to my liver. I was in complete shock because I was feeling so good, and I expected God would keep shrinking all of the lesions on my bones, not allow them to increase. Although I talk often about peace on my Blog, darkness overcame me again and the fear was very real. To be honest, I was a little ticked off at God because I thought I was doing everything possible to be a light for Him, and I guess I expected that He would be taking care of the cancer end of it.

For the first time, I would have to do weekly chemotherapy and lose my hair, and it was all overwhelming to me. It felt like I was taking 100 steps backwards. To be honest, I did not talk to God for a few days as I wrestled with my will vs. God’s will. In those two days it all came down one thing, did I believe enough in God’s Word to continue to trust Him.
The answer, for me, was yes.
I had already seen His magnificent work, and the impossible things that had become possible in my life and the lives around me. I really couldn’t imagine living without Him, and I knew that His ways are so much more creative and exciting than my own.

When I am asked how I live with such peace and joy knowing that cancer is constantly trying to consume me? I can only point upward and give the glory to God. When you have seen miracles, and felt the Holy Spirit at work, you can’t go back. You will endure whatever it takes to, even death, to hear the words “well done good and faithful servant.”

A year ago, God gave me an amazing gift when the lesion on my liver were suddenly gone. I was told that there was a less than 5% chance of this happening on the chemo I was on. My doctor and I agreed that prayer, and my faith in God, were to be given the credit. My healing was a gift that came right before summer. I stopped the weekly chemo, went on oral medication, threw my hot wig in the closet, and began to enjoy a new hassle free short hair do! As I look back on God’s timing, I am so thankful that I had submitted to His will. His timing truly takes my breath away! This past December the lesions came back, but I feel great and I am on a different treatment that allows me freedom this summer to travel with my family.

God has a purpose for everyone here today. Jesus lives for you too. If he can take an ordinary girl like me and give me the courage to live for Him, He will do the same for you. It is up to you to take the step toward Him and find out what gifts He has in store for you. The first step toward an intimate relationship with God is one of trust,
the steps after that may be the most exciting ones you have ever taken. It is my fervent prayer that you take those steps.

Sandy

A Busy Week

2011-06-06T17:02:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends,

I was taken to task for my last heading "The End is Near," which was just me having fun with the end of the world talk that has made headlines recently. Because I am feeling fantastic, I really did not think about what that title would do to the person bringing up my Blog and taking a quick look. Being that I have stage 4 cancer, I think I gave a few people a heart attack.

Not only am I feeling fantastic, but I don't have to return to City of Hope for 6 weeks. Yeah!
I take that back, I am going today for a GATE field trip with Michelle to see the robotics used for prostrate cancer. The students also get a tour of the rose garden where there is a bronze plaque that was put there by Oak Mesa School last year through their Jump for Hope event.

Last Saturday I had the honor of talking at the Glendora Relay for Life event. If I can figure out a way to get my video camera onto my computer, I will post it for all to see. It was such an honor to be asked.

This week is crazy with 5th grade festivities as I count down the last days of elementary school. Michelle is taking it real well, but I am not. It is very hard to say good-bye to eleven years of my life. My kids are growing up, and I am on to a new chapter of my life. Maybe it is time for that book I want to write?

Keep me in your prayers for this Sunday. On top of a crazy busy week, I was asked to speak at all four services at Glenkirk Church. Please pray that I will find the words that God wants me to convey. It is more than just my story of cancer, it is a story of endurance and living for what counts. Pastor Jim generously gave me 7 minutes, but it will be hard to condense my thoughts as I speak about the magnitude of God's power and love.

It would be just awesome if random people showed up on either Saturday or Sunday to support me!!! Hint, Hint...

I have new pictures and lots more to share! It really is not the end of anything, just a new beginning. As always, I am excited to see what God has in store!

Celebrating Life,
Sandy

The End is Near

2011-06-02T16:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, the end is near.
Not the end of the world, but the end of the school year.
Five more days...

Not that I don't love all the amazing teachers that have given so much of themselves. I am sure they are counting the hours.

I heard that the world is going to end in October. Apparently they (I really don't know who) were a little off on their dates. I am going to hold off on any early Christmas shopping just in case.

“Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come. But understand this: If the owner of the house had known at what time of night the thief was coming, he would have kept watch and would not have let his house be broken into. So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him. Matthew 24:42-44

Nobody know when the end will be, but there is one things for sure, we all have an end. Are you ready for yours? I love the song by Tim McGraw called "Live Like You Are Dying." There is something to be said about living with the knowledge that you are going to die. Beyond skydiving and bull riding, there is the question: "What will happen when I take my last breath?"

I am certain of the answer, and have total peace.
Do you?

God Has the Night Watch

2011-05-19T10:07:00.000-07:00

It is actually hard to imagine now, but from the time I was diagnosed on April 19th until May 30th, I was in the process of doctor's appointments and tests with not a whole lot to do but wait. It took 6 weeks of pain before I had surgery to have a cage of rods and bolts put into my broken neck. Four years later, I am so deeply thankful that my neck is functional and without pain. A matter of fact, I have so much hardware in my neck, my neurosurgeon told me I could ride the most craziest roller coaster there is and not worry about my neck (it is the rest of my old body that I would worry about).

As I am reading through Psalms, I came across a verse that always reminds me of my time in the hospital.

On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:6-8.

Being in the hospital five days was one of the hardest things I had ever done (at that time). The most I had been in the hospital was overnight for the birth of my daughters. If you have ever had to be overnight in a hospital, they check you constantly, there is talking in the halls at all hours, and it is never quite dark.

I would get woken up at 2 a.m. for a check on my vitals and not be able to get back to sleep. I had just received an Ipod, and so I would turn on some praise music and just sing (quietly) and commune with God. He was there with me in those dark hours of loneliness, fear, and pain. I would "Praise Him in the Storm" (love that song), and I felt His presence and peace.

I hope this is a reminder to anyone who wakes up with anxiety or sadness in the dark hours of the night that God is right there with you. He never sleeps, and is a great companion who offers comfort, peace, and protection. Sometimes I would lay my hand out on the bed and just visualize Jesus holding my hand. It is a beautiful gift to have a friend that does not mind the night watch. In fact, I look back now with some fondness for those midnight praise sessions when it was just me and Him. Powerful stuff.

Sandy

Growing Up

2011-05-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

I realized today that I have not talked about my kids in awhile, so I must look like a very sane and put-together mother. My friends are probably laughing hard at that comment.

The truth is, we have a very (insanely) busy life that revolves around their activities. I am your normal overworked mother who is running to Micheal's for school projects, and shuttling kids back and forth to friend's homes, sports activities, and school. I am counting down the days until we can sleep past 6 a.m. I love having my kids home for the summer.

This is a big life changing year for me because Michelle is departing elementary school, which means I have to leave too. After eleven years of being a part of the Oak Mesa community, I am hanging up my grading pen, and finishing off my PTA commitments. I have threatened to come back next year and adopt a kindergartner. Most moms look at me like I am crazy.

In addition to Michelle growing up, I have the additional shock of Rachel getting ready to drive! We have not actually let her behind the wheel of a car yet, but Jon and I know that the day is coming. She is legally able to get a permit. The problem with Rachel is that I don't think she will know how to get out of our housing complex, let along find her school. She is quite content with letting me shuttle her around, and I am very content with doing it. I don't want to give up our time in the car! I like talking and being together.

Yes, the girls are growing up. The thought of them maturing and becoming independent young ladies makes me think of the recent sermon series by Jim Miller called "Grown Up Faith" that was based on the book of Ephesians.

"I ask that Christ will live in your hearts through faith. As a result of having strong roots in love, I ask that you’ll have the power to grasp love’s width and length, height and depth, together with all believers. I ask that you’ll know the love of Christ that is beyond knowledge so that you will be filled entirely with the fullness of God.
Glory to God, who is able to do far beyond all that we could ask or imagine by his power at work within us." - Ephesians 3:17-20

Of all the things I have taught my girls, I hope they they will someday find that "grown up faith" that is needed to navigate life. I can teach them to cook, clean, have good manners, be productive, and know what the Bible says about faith, hope and love; but it is up to them to take that faith and apply it to their lives.

Stormie Omartian gives ten reasons to read God's Word.

1. To know where you are going (Psalm 119:133)
2. To have wisdom (Psalm 19:7)
3. To find success (Joshua 1:8)
4. To live in purity (Psalm 119:9)
5. To obey God (Psalm 119:33-35)
6. To have joy (Psalm 19:8)
7. To grow in faith (Romans 10:17)
8. To find deliverance (John 8:31-32)
9. To have peace (Psalm 119:165)
10. To distinguish good from evil (Psalm 119:11)

This is the kind of wisdom I want for my girls as they grow up in their faith and get out into the scary world around us. If then can keep their eyes on Christ, and be confident in His Word, they will be able to navigate the highs and lows of life with confidence.

Did you notice how many of those keys to a grown up faith come from Psalm 119? This is a great chapter to read. If you don't know where to start reading, start with the book of Psalm. There is great stuff in there. Also, have a Study Bible that has footnotes. The notes are really helpful when you don't understand something.

I pray for my daughters, and I pray for you, that the Word of God will become real and life giving. That the scriptures will call you to a deeper walk with Christ. This is how you get that firm foundation that can't be rocked when the storms come. Read God's promises, and find a family of God that will help you as you grow in your faith.

Still Growing,
Sandy

Mother's Day 2011

2011-05-08T05:13:00.000-07:00

Four years ago, my mom gave me a little green book by Dodie Osteen call "Healed of Cancer" for Mother's Day. That gift changed my life. After reading about Dodie's faith, I decided that the promises that God gives through His Word were for me as much as they were for her. I gained great strength in those verses, and my mom typed out my favorites for me to read and meditate on each morning.

Thank you Mom for your belief in me, and for always being my encourager when I have those moments of feeling defeated by cancer. You are one of the few that gets to see that side, and I can't wallow there long because you will talk me out of it real fast!

Happy Mother's Day!
Love,
Sandy

Life's Tornadoes

2011-05-03T20:39:00.000-07:00

I am a California girl, so the possibility of an earthquake at any moment is a reality. Fortunately, we don't experience them very often. Still, I can't imagine an earthquake being as devastating as a tornado after seeing the images that have been shown lately. Tornadoes look evil to me. They are dark, and vicious, and they hurl things into the air, like Jeeps and entire homes. My heart goes out to the people who have lost everything due to these powerful storms.

For I am persuaded beyond doubt that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
—Romans 8:38-39

Truthfully, very few (if any) get through life without a tornado riping through and destroying their joy at some moment during their existence on earth. We have all had something that knocks us down and threatens to rip our world apart. The devastation of rejection, the loss of a loved one, anger, disease, rebellious children, and addiction (to name a few), are threats on the peaceful existence we all strive to have.

What is your tornado? Has it left you mad, sad, disillusioned at God? It is our natural instinct to cry out to God and ask, "Why?" I have asked it recently when I found out my friend, who is a single mother, was diagnosed with lung cancer. I have asked, "why her, why now?" Sometimes there are things that just don't make sense when we look at it with our human perspective.

The Word of God has a promise in Romans 8:38-39 (above) that gives us more of a heavenly perspective. First, it gives a description of what is on God's heart for us. He will never let anything separate Him from one of His children. If you have accepted Jesus into your heart, you have the promise that you can doubt, be angry, and make mistakes, but God will guide you back to Him because of the redeeming blood of Christ. Second, this verse says that even in the toughest storms of life, He is still loving us and is wanting to protect us. He does not promise that storms will not come, but He does promise to be the anchor that keeps us from blowing away IF we are His child.

All of this takes me back to the verse that God brought to me in the moment of my greatest test and darkest day. Romans 8:28 is a promise that all things can work together for good for those who are called according to God's purpose. When the tornado of cancer ripped through my peaceful life, I stood on the promise that if I kept my eye's fixed on God, He alone could make order and peace out of the devastation. I did not know how, or when; but I knew that God could take this horrible disease and use it to His glory. I looked at it with heavenly perspective and saw that my limited earthly perspective did not make sense, but His way was part of a bigger plan. I trusted what I knew about God's love for me.

I think it is always good to remind ourselves that God is not out to play with our lives. Satan plays a big part in the tornadoes that threaten us. He is a crafty guy who wants us to not have a relationship with God. The evil principalities mentioned in our verse is (often) the force behind many of the devastating events in our life. But, God is the one that can come up beside us and use these things to strengthen us and grow us in our faith.

If a tornado ripped through your house would you rebuild? Of course you would! You would pick out all of the treasures you could out of the rubble and you would move on. And, depending on the foundation of your house, you would have a good starting point to build something better out of the ruins.

Is your foundation in Christ? Do you have a disaster plan for your life?
God is the best insurance you can have. He has an entire book of promises and instructions for when the natural disasters come, and there are no exclusions in small print.

In the midst of my storm, I heard the voice of my Father in Heaven, and he gave me peace and a hand to hold onto. I hope that for you.

Sandy

Mary Magdalene

2011-04-25T09:55:00.000-07:00

Mary Magdalene
at Jesus' Tomb
by Max Lucado

Mary had been there. She had heard the leaders clamor for Jesus’ blood. She had witnessed the Roman whip rip the skin off his back. She had winced as the thorns sliced his brow and wept at the weight of the cross.

In the Louvre there is a painting of the scene of the cross. In the painting the stars are dead and the world is wrapped in darkness. In the shadows there is a kneeling form. It is Mary. She is holding her hands and lips against the bleeding feet of the Christ.

We don’t know if Mary did that, but we know she could have. She was there. She was there to hold her arm around the shoulder of Mary the mother of Jesus. She was there to close his eyes. She was there.

So it’s not surprising that she wants to be there again.

In the early morning mist she arises from her mat, takes her spices and aloes, and leaves her house, past the Gate of Gennath and up to the hillside. She anticipates a somber task. By now the body will be swollen. His face will be white. Death’s odor will be pungent.

A gray sky gives way to gold as she walks up the narrow trail. As she rounds the final bend, she gasps. The rock in front of the grave is pushed back.

“Someone took the body.” She runs to awaken Peter and John. They rush to see for themselves. She tries to keep up with them but can’t.

Peter comes out of the tomb bewildered and John comes out believing, but Mary just sits in front of it weeping. The two men go home and leave her alone with her grief.

But something tells her she is not alone. Maybe she hears a noise. Maybe she hears a whisper. Or maybe she just hears her own heart tell her to take a look for herself.

Whatever the reason, she does. She stoops down, sticks her head into the hewn entrance, and waits for her eyes to adjust to the dark.

“Why are you crying?” She sees what looks to be a man, but he’s white—radiantly white. He is one of two lights on either end of the vacant slab. Two candles blazing on an altar.

“Why are you crying?” An uncommon question to be asked in a cemetery. In fact, the question is rude. That is, unless the questioner knows something the questionee doesn’t.

“They have taken my Lord away, and I don’t know where they have put him.”

She still calls him “my Lord.” As far as she knows his lips were silent. As far as she knows, his corpse had been carted off by grave robbers. But in spite of it all, he is still her Lord.

Such devotion moves Jesus. It moves him closer to her. So close she hears him breathing. She turns and there he stands. She thinks he is the gardener.

Now, Jesus could have revealed himself at this point. He could have called for an angel to present him or a band to announce his presence. But he didn’t.

“Why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?” (John 20:1-18 NIV).

He doesn’t leave her wondering long, just long enough to remind us that he loves to surprise us. He waits for us to despair of human strength and then intervenes with heavenly. God waits for us to give up and then—surprise!

And listen to the surprise as Mary’s name is spoken by a man she loved—a man she had buried.

“Miriam.”

God appearing at the strangest of places. Doing the strangest of things. Stretching smiles where there had hung only frowns. Placing twinkles where there were only tears. Hanging a bright star in a dark sky. Arching rainbows in the midst of thunderclouds. Calling names in a cemetery.

“Miriam,” he said softly, “surprise!”

Mary was shocked. It’s not often you hear your name spoken by an eternal tongue. But when she did, she recognized it. And when she did, she responded correctly. She worshiped him.

The Lamb of God

2011-04-20T15:29:00.000-07:00

12 “On that same night I will pass through Egypt and strike down every firstborn of both people and animals, and I will bring judgment on all the gods of Egypt. I am the LORD. 13 The blood will be a sign for you on the houses where you are, and when I see the blood, I will pass over you. No destructive plague will touch you when I strike Egypt. Genesis 12:12,13

I want to repeat something I heard in Bible Study today:

The blood of the lamb was sufficient for the Israelites to put on their door post. God provided the lamb and instructions, but it was up to each family to apply the blood so that their home would be protected. If they did not apply the blood, they were not protected.

How true for us. God makes provisions for us, but it is up to us to apply it. He provides His Word, but we need to read it. He provides churches, but we need to get up and out of our homes and enter into a sanctuary of God. God provides, but we need to apply.

Taking it further. God provided salvation for us. He provided the ultimate sacrificial lamb, Jesus. He sent His Son to pay the price for us so that we don't have to put the blood of a lamb on our door. All we have to do is invite Jesus into our hearts, and we are covered by HIS blood. A free gift, paid on the cross.

All we need to do is apply it...

Celebrating Four Years

2011-04-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

"Going a little further, Jesus fell with his face to the ground and prayed, 'Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.'" Matthew 26:39

On Tuesday, April 19, it will have been four years since life changed for my family. It is a day I will never forget. Jon and I were called into Dr. Woodward's office. We were told to come together. I have to admit, I never dreamed the word "cancer" would arise, but I knew something bad was going on with my neck.

When we walked into the office, the mood was somber. I will never forget the look on Dr. Woodward's face as he met us at the door of his office. It was a look of grief and pain. The rest is kind of a blur. Words like leukemia, bone cancer, and metastatic cancer were written on a MRI report. It was the first time I had ever heard of metastatic cancer. We left the office stunned and sick in the gut, and changed. Life would never be the same again.

After we got the girls to bed, Jon and I prayed. We prayed that this cup would pass. That is what Jesus prayed when he went into the garden before his arrest. He prayed the the cup of pain would pass, but then he prayed something even deeper. He prayed for God's will and not His own.

We did not pray for God's will. We prayed for a mistake. We prayed that someone saw something on that MRI report that was nothing. We pleaded for this to pass. Darkness overcame us that night. We were thrown into a deep valley, and the MRI report was not a mistake. Our new normal had begun, and we could not help but yearn for April 18th, the last day of our former care free life. The cup never passed.

Jesus' prayer in the garden is a model of how we should pray when we are faced with pain, brokeness, anger, grief, and sickness. We can always go to God honestly with our request, but then there is the submission to the will of the Father. There are times, like with Jesus, that God needs for us to drink from the cup of sorrow and suffering. The easy way is not always God's will, and had Jesus taken the easy way, God's plan of redemption for the world would have never happened.

This week we meditate on the events that happened before the death and resurrection of Jesus. He entered Jeruselem with shouts of praise, but by the end of the week those shouts turned into hatred and disappointment. They thought he came to save them from Rome, but Jesus really came as the Messaiah to save us all from our own sin.

The cup did not pass for Jon and I four years ago, but had God answered that prayer, we would not be where we are today. Our relationship with Christ is deeper, stronger, and more purposeful than ever. When we got to the point of saying, "Your will, not ours" we found healing, strength, protection, joy, peace, hope, love... the gifts still keep coming!

I pray that you take the time this week to really feel the full impact of what it means to submitt our pain and suffering to the will of God. Jesus knew what was coming. He knew the physical and mental anguish He would have to endure, and that He would be separated from His Father. It is beautiful to know that Jesus understands fully our agony.

"Jesus, there are times when I just want the pain to go away, but then I think of the pain you suffered for me, and I feel humbled. You paid the ultimate price for my sins, and so I want to give back to you every piece of my life. More than healing, I just want to be obediant to you. I desire to be your servant and do your will until my last breath is taken. Your love is better than life. I pray that the days you give me will count for something. I can never repay you for the joy and purpose you have given me, but I can sure spend the rest of my life trying! I love you so very much. Thank you for four amazing years! I am ready to see what miracles you have waiting for me in the years to come!" Love, Sandy

A Whale of a Tale

2011-04-10T21:19:00.000-07:00

And God said, “Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky.” So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. - Genesis 1:20,21

My family just got back from our spring break (formerly Easter break) trip to the island of Kauai. The entire trip was conceived when I was in pain at City of Hope in December. I created a happy place, and it was in Hawaii with my family. Jon told me to get better and we would go, so I got better and started praying and researching the Hawaiian Islands and landed on Kauai.

My number one goal in traveling to Hawaii was to see a humpback whale. I have a whale tail as my screen saver, and I am completely moved by these magnificent giants. The thought of seeing one in person has been a dream of mine for a very long time. My dream was not only to see one, but to see it actually breach and come out of the water. Think big body splash! As I started planning, I soon realized that the week we would be there was the last week of whale season before they have completely migrated. I was not detoured, I just started praying even harder that God would grant this wish of mine. I prayed every day for an entire month.

When we got to Kauai, I immediately went to a tour desk, and was told that the next day would be the best day out at sea due to rain coming. I booked us all on a sunset dinner cruise along the Napali Coast. The captain told us this would be a good trip because the swells would be 1 to 2 feet. Did I mention that I get sea sick really easily?

As we headed out on our four hour trip, we were into the first hour when the Captain alerted us to a whale spouting to the right of the boat. We all ran to the side and saw it spout again and then dive deep showing us a beautiful tail. Not long afterward, we saw another whale spout and a tail. Both were far off in the distance. As we continued on, one of the crew members and I started a conversation. I asked about the whales, and he told me it was not likely we would see very many as they had mostly migrated. I had a moment of doubt, but then I said to God, "I know that you made these massive creatures just to see our eyes light up. I believe that you have brought me here to delight me and give me a gift, and so I will refuse to believe I won't see a whale breach. You are a God who answers prayers."

We journey along the stunning Napali Coast for two hours then turned around and headed back. I was feeling a little peaked, but I kept my eyes on the horizon looking for a spout. Suddenly, the other side of the boat gasped. I ran over in time to see a whale breach right out of the water! It spouted and then dove down showing it's massive tail as it went. God answered my prayer! I sat down and thanked God for letting me see a whale. He is truly a God that loves to give us gifts, and this was a gift. I had a big smile on my face, but I think that God's smile was even bigger because He knew what was going to come next.

The sun was just beginning to set. It was the top of the last hour when someone yelled out they saw a whale. We all rushed to the side of the boat and saw a baby whale breach out of the water. A few seconds later, the mother jumped out and made a big splash. We were all gasping at the site. Then the baby jumped, then the mother jumped, and on it went for almost 15 minutes! Even the crew got their cameras out! It was like the end of a firework show when you just enjoyed a spectacular site, and then they let off a zillion fireworks at the same time and it just blows your mind!

Finally, the Captain said we had to leave because we were running late on getting back. Can you imagine that we had to leave and they were still playing and jumping?! It was crazy! As we pulled away we all looked back. In the glow of the sunset shining down on the water, the mother whale was waving her tail at us! She waved and waved; her tail just flowing back and forth with the sun reflecting off of her. She must have waved at us for over two minutes. I felt like she was waving at me. I cry every time I tell this part. I have no pictures of it, I just have the memory etched in my brain forever. It was truly amazing.

There will always be those who believe in coincidence or luck, but I am telling you God was there in that beautiful moment. He is the giver of gifts. He loves for us to ask, and then gives us more than we can imagine! He can keep a mother and baby whale in the waters of Hawaii just so a group of people can feast their eyes on the wonder of His creation. He honors our prayers. He is a interactive God who likes to thrill us!

I feel sad for those who don't understand the power of prayer, and the character of God. They are missing out on some amazing gifts. It is a humbling moment when you realize that God thinks of you in such an intimate way. In this massive universe, He can bring a simple girl and a whale together for a moment just for the pleasure of seeing her laugh and cry with joy.

Thank You Father for the amazing animals you have created just for our pleasure. You are a creative God! You remind us that your eye is on the sparrow, so there is no doubt that you are watching over us as well.

Mahalo, Sandy

Hinds' Feet On High Places

2011-03-31T05:30:00.000-07:00

<>I recently read the book "Hinds' Feet On High Places" by Hannah Hurnard. It was originally published in 1973, and my mother has had it in her library of books and passed it on to me. The author had many struggles in life, mainly stuttering and depression, and her book is an allegory that reflects the yearning we have for God to lead us to new heights of trust, victory, and love.

<>The main character is named Much Afraid, She meets a Shepherd that promises to take her on a journey out of the Valley of Humiliation she lives in and up to the High Places. The Shepherd is characterized as kind and gentle, and filled with love. She agrees to leave behind her family, called the Fearings, and follow the Shepherd. One of the promises the Shepherd makes is to take away her lameness. She is described as a cripple, with feet so crooked that they often cause her to stumble. She also has a disfigured face with ugly blemishes.

<>Much Afraid finally gathers the courage to leave the valley and follow the Shepherd. The Shepherd tells her that he can't travel with her the entire time, so he gives her two companions, Sorrow and Suffering. At first she is very afraid of her companions. They are tall and their faces are veiled. She trembles at the thought of them, but must learn to take their hands and let them lead her because Much Afraid trusts the Shepherd.

<>Her family is not happy and sends her cousins, Craven Fear,pride, and selfishness to discourage her from leaving. They taunt her all along the way and try to discredit the Shepherd. One of my favorite parts of the story is when she is trying to climb a steep hill and her cousins are taunting her to turn back. She is taught a song by Sorrow and Suffering so that when she sings it, the voices of her cousins are drowned out by her own singing of joy and trust in the Shepherd. I really related to that because I listen to uplifting music every day that lifts my soul.

<>Much Afraid starts the journey thinking it will be a beautiful and easy road. Her companions soon lead her into the desert, and Much Afraid is anguished at the thought of having to travel through such a desolate place. The taunting of her relatives almost makes her turn back. Much Afraid sees several things in the dessert. A threshing floor, a whirring wheel, and a fiery furnace. She also sees a little flower growing out of the rocks, The flower's name is Joy With Acceptance. Much Afraid calls on the Shepherd when it becomes more than she can take, and he is immediately there beside her. She leaves the desert knowing the Shepherd had brought her there for a purpose, and she is better for it.

<>Her journey continues to the Shore of Loneliness, and then to the Great Precipice of Injury, through the Forests of Danger and Tribulation, and the Valley of Loss. Each of these places brings her new strength and courage, and her companions are not as foreboding as they seemed when she first took their hands. The more accepting she becomes of these companions, the more alive she feels and aware of the beauty around her.

<>There are many profound moments throughout this book. If you are a person traveling a very hard journey, you will understand the deep despair the Much Afraid feels as she is led to these places. If you trust Jesus as your Savior, you will understand even better the joy of following the Shepherd, not matter what road he asks you to travel. One of the great moments in the book was when Much Afraid says the following to the Shepherd:

<>Suddenly she burst into a passion of weeping, then after a little while looked straight up into His face and said, "My Lord - if You can deceive me, You may. It can make no difference. I must love You as long as I continue to exist. I cannot live without loving You."

<>That is the kind of love I have for Jesus. If He is a fake, then I am stumped at who is answering all of my prayers. I know I pray to a real God, and I have joy in knowing that He loves me enough to come to earth as man to die on the cross for my sins. But, even if it were a lie, I can't imagine living differently than I do now. I know he lives!

<>Sandy

The Family of God

2011-03-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking a lot lately about what the family of God means to me. The thought started when I posted about the Japanese people and their dedication to family honor. I have really chewed on this concept of church, and what it means to be a part of the body of Christ. It also helps that I am in a Bible study that is going through Thessalonians, and Pastor Jim is doing a study on Sunday mornings in Ephesians. Both of these Bible books are letters from Paul on what it means to be a part of the body of Christ and the start up of the church after Jesus' Resurrection.

For me it is a no-brainer. I grew up at Hacienda Heights Baptist Church, and it was like a second home. We worshipped there, the youth group had amazing camps and activities. My parent's friends were mostly attenders of HHBC. I got married in that church, and I still have a very deep connection with the families I grew up with.

The reality is, most people never had that kind of experience with a church. Or, they had a very negative experience with a church. Don't get me wrong, we were a dysfunctional family at HHBC. We had our disagreements. I think that the hardest part of being considered a part of the church family, is realizing people are not perfect. A matter of fact, Satan likes to get inside a church and get people riled up by using just about any topic to split the church. If you don't believe that there is an evil force that is trying to keep people from having a closer relationship with Christ, then you are sadly mistaken and are underestimating the enemy.

After Jon and I moved to La Verne, we decided to find a local church, and were invited to Glenkirk in Glendora. We have been there ever since due to the amazing Biblical preaching that is the mainstay of all Glenkirk's ministries. You will never find a church that is free of problems because we are the problem. We are all sinners and fall prey to Satan's plan of trying to weaken the family of God.

Back to my studies. It is really amazing to study how the Christian church grew in the midst of such persecution. God was really at work speaking through these everyday men (and women too) who were given such wisdom. The entire future of the church was in novice hands, and yet they were faithful in encouraging, helping, meeting, and loving each other. Things get done when you work as a strong group!

Stormie Omartian writes, "It is very important to have prayer time with other believers. In fact, it is impossible to grow and develop to your fullest potential independently of other believers. It can't be 'just me and God all the way.' We have to have a mutual dependence upon on another because we are defined and refined within the context of a local body of believers. Building a people to do God's work happens in the local church when we are connected to and grow with the rest of the body of Christ. It is within that context that we find who we are created to be and what we are created to do."

When believers unite in prayer, we have added power in the spiritual realm that we just don't get alone. I am beyond grateful for the thousands of prayers that have gone up on my behalf. I know I have prayer circles all over California and beyond that keep me lifted up in prayer. I feel it, and it gives me strength to know that the switchboard in heaven is lit up on my behalf. We really get God's attention in numbers! And you can definately see how God has answered those prayers and performed miracles!

Beyond prayer for myself, is the honor of praying with a group for other people. When something is heavy on my heart and I can share it and get others to pray, I know God is at work. Also, it is wonderful being a part of this family of God that ministers to the homeless, and has various missions around the world. It is exciting to see how God works in these areas!

If you are not part of a church family, you really don't know what you are missing. It is like there is a hole that you don't know you have, and something really fulfilling and wonderful is available to fill that hole, but you have to take the step.

Easter is coming! A great time to take that step and see what all the excitement is about. You might find yourself in a new family that wants to love, minister, and grow with you. It is not a perfect family, but we are all striving for the same goal, to have a closer walk with God. You may find the piece of yourself that has been missing!

Blessings,
Sandy
P.S. Keep an eye on Glenkirk's webpage http://www.glenkirkchurch.org/ for information on service times.

2011-03-25T09:43:00.000-07:00

Jesus is willing to forgive our failures and call us into His service. After all, if only perfect people qualified to serve Him, He wouldn't have anyone to choose from! - Joe Stowell

Love God, and Love Your Neighbor

2011-03-21T21:29:00.000-07:00

There is a lot going on in the world right now, but nothing has been more heartbreaking and real than the horrible tsunami that swept over Japan. The film clips are something that you would expect to see in a doomsday movie. It is like 9/11, in that your mind can't seem to quite register what your eyes are seeing because of the horror of it is unimaginable.

One thing that has really impressed me as I watch the coverage, is the support and sense of duty that the Japanese people have for each other. There is no looting of stores, nobody would ever even consider shoving to get food and water rations, or starting a fight. They have not had to bring in the National Guard to uphold peace in the hard hit areas.

America can take a lesson from this amazing culture. Family honor keeps them from doing these things despite the horrible circumstances. They would never want to bring dishonor to their family name, and so they have kept order and worked together to help their neighbors. In the Bible, Jesus has some very strong words for what should be most important to us.

Matthew 22:36-40

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

We are commanded to love God first, and above all else; but His greatest desire is for us to love others and treat them like we would want to be treated. The two have to go hand in hand. To have holiness without love is like being a clanging gong. Your words of biblical wisdom fall short on a person if you are not loving them first. This is especially true of those who call themselves followers of Christ.

God calls us His children, and He wants us to live in a manner that brings honor to the family name. In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul wrote about what it means to love.

1 If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

These are very high standards for us to live by, and we often fall short. Thankfully, we have a God that understands our shortcomings and forgives us when we stumble. He provides ways for reconciliation, and to try again. With each failure, we can learn and grow into the person God intends us to be.

It is good to take a lesson from the Japanese people, and live our life to bring honor to the family of God. God also calls us into action, and so we need to remember to actively pray for people who are suffering (and there are many countries around the world that suffer). We can pray that God will be visible and real to those experiencing pain. We can also pray for the efforts of humanitarians who are risking their health, and lives, to help in these hard hit areas. One of the ways that our family has contributed in helping people in need is through Samaritan's Purse. This is a loving organization founded by Billy Graham's son, Franklin, and it provides humanitarian relief to places all over the world.

Love your God.
Love your neighbor.

Love is an action word.
Do something to show love today!

Sandy

Jesus Wants to Clean Us Up

2011-03-14T08:09:00.000-07:00

For parents and grandparents out there, you can probably relate to a child getting filthy dirty and then running to you to be cleaned up. Imagine you little child running to you with a filthy diaper, and you refusing to clean that child up. That would not happen.

This analogy was given at Bible Study last week, and it is a visual reminder of what God does for us when we run to Him. Just as we could never imagine letting our child sit in filth, God would never say no to us when we come to him with all of our shortcoming, faults, shame, guilt...

God sent his son, Jesus, to wipe us all clean as new snow. He wants to clean up all of the areas in our life that are dirty and unpresentable to God. There is nothing we could do to cause Him to turn away disgust, except to not ask for forgivness and choose to live in our sin.

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand. - Psalm 40:1,2

If you are keeping yourself from God because you think you are not worthy, then you don't know the mercy and love that God wants to shower you with. The verse says it all. When we turn to the Lord, he lifts us up out of the pit and sets us on high ground. He wants you to come, covered in filth, so that He can clean you up. You don't have to do the work, He will work inside of you. The clean up process does not happen over night, that is why we have to wait patiently and be in tune with His Word. The Psalm goes on to say in verse 3:

He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.

Let Him put a new song in your heart today!
Sandy

Called to Suffer

2011-03-10T22:09:00.001-08:00

I have been overwhelmed with sadness this week for another friend diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer. It has brought back all of those painful times when the anxiety was off the charts, and the reality was incomprehensible. Yet, God has worked miracles beyond anything I could have imagined through my cancer.

Max Lucado just nails it sometimes, and this writing just took my breath away:

Go with me for a moment to witness what was perhaps the foggiest night in history. The scene is very simple; you’ll recognize it quickly. A grove of twisted olive trees. Ground cluttered with large rocks. A low stone fence. A dark, dark night.

Now, look into the picture. Look closely through the shadowy foliage. See that person? See that solitary figure? What’s he doing? Flat on the ground. Face stained with dirt and tears. Fists pounding the hard earth. Eyes wide with a stupor of fear. Hair matted with salty sweat. Is that blood on his forehead?

That’s Jesus. Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane.

Maybe you’ve seen the classic portrait of Christ in the garden. Kneeling beside a big rock. Snow-white robe. Hands peacefully folded in prayer. A look of serenity on his face. Halo over his head. A spotlight from heaven illuminating his golden-brown hair.

Now, I’m no artist, but I can tell you one thing. The man who painted that picture didn’t use the gospel of Mark as a pattern. Look what Mark wrote about that painful night, he used phrases like these: “Horror and dismay came over him.” “My heart is ready to break with grief.” “He went a little forward and threw himself on the ground.”

Does this look like the picture of a saintly Jesus resting in the palm of God? Hardly. Mark used black paint to describe this scene. We see an agonizing, straining, and struggling Jesus. We see a “man of sorrows.” (Isaiah 53:3 NASB) We see a man struggling with fear, wrestling with commitments, and yearning for relief.

We see Jesus in the fog of a broken heart.

The writer of Hebrews would later pen, “During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death.” (Hebrews 5:7 NIV)

My, what a portrait! Jesus is in pain. Jesus is on the stage of fear. Jesus is cloaked, not in sainthood, but in humanity.

The next time the fog finds you, you might do well to remember Jesus in the garden. The next time you think that no one understands, reread the fourteenth chapter of Mark. The next time your self-pity convinces you that no one cares, pay a visit to Gethsemane. And the next time you wonder if God really perceives the pain that prevails on this dusty planet, listen to him pleading among the twisted trees.

The next time you are called to suffer, pay attention. It may be the closest you’ll ever get to God. Watch closely. It could very well be that the hand that extends itself to lead you out of the fog is a pierced one.

Wow! That is a powerful writing. I recognized that hand that rescued me from the dark valley. It was pierced for my sins. I could never repay Jesus for his sacrifice. When I think about Him experiencing human pain and suffering, I am humbled. With one word everything could be restored or destroyed, but he chose to come down and live among us so that we could understand his love.

Very Thankful,
Sandy

Learning About Prayer

2011-03-05T08:44:00.000-08:00

I am listening to a great CD series while in my car titled "The Hope in Prayer" by John Eldredge. I have learned a lot about prayer and what the scripture says about prayer through various mediums in my life. I was encouraged to hear what John had to say, and it reinforced many of the thoughts I have had on having effective prayer. I also found areas I needed to improve upon.
One of the quotes from John that has stuck in my head is, "When you think you are done praying, you are just getting warmed up." So many times I start praying early in the morning, and then the girls come down stairs and the cat starts wanting attention, and my prayer time is interrupted. I think I will get back to a deeper talk with God once everyone is out of the house, but then I get distracted by other things. Other times I think I have gotten through my prayer list efficiently, but I really could have gone a lot deeper. Time is always a factor for us in these areas. That is why it is good to be praying throughout the day with purpose for the people that come into your mind.

When I really set aside meaningful time with God, it is amazing the things I am prompted to pray for. John talks about effective prayer opening channels. There is a way to pray, and we often read off our "wish list" and don't really pray effectively. Effective prayer was taught by Jesus when He gave us "The Lord's Prayer" (Matthew 6 and Luke 11).

"Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil."

John reminded me of the fact that we are asked to pray for the Kingdom of Christ to come, AND that God's will be done. We would not be asked to pray these things if they were a given. God's kingdom has not come, and His will is not being done, and if we are asked to pray these things,then our prayers must matter to Him. If our prayer matters to God, then they must have the ability to make change.

Our prayers make a difference. God is not unmoved by our prayers. Prayer can change things, and we should always be praying with expectation and searching for God's will. Sometimes we don't know what to pray. Do we pray for reconciliation, healing, a job? Yes, we should pray for these things with the knowledge that God hears and acts. especially when we pray with perseverance.

John spoke on the CD about the story of Elijah who prayed diligently for rain. He kept sending his servant out to look for any sign of rain. Seven times he sent out his servant. Finally a cloud appeared. What if Elijah had given up on the third prayer? We can't give up on our prayers, but we also need to be aligned with God's will and pray with great hope and faith that He is able.

Are you praying for something that has not yet been answered? Keep praying! God's hears you and is working on your behalf. Sometimes the answer is no, and sometimes the answer is not now, but we need to be persistent and patient with our prayers. How do we know what to do? Ask God to put upon your heart what needs to be cleared out of your life so that the line of communication is open for Him to talk to you about what you need to pray for, and how to pray.

I am so thankful to know that God listens to me and wants to work on my behalf.

Blessings,
Sandy

Noah's Ark

2011-03-01T21:26:00.000-08:00

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark :

ONE: Don't miss the boat.
TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat!
THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.
FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.
FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.
SIX: Build your future on high ground.
SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.
EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.
TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
ELEVEN: No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's always a rainbow waiting.

My favorite was number six. When you are on high ground with Jesus, all things are possible!

Sandy

When Sorrows Like Sea Bellow Roll

2011-02-24T11:35:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I struggle to know what to write, and so I have taken my time on this one. These past couple of weeks have been filled with news of people who are battling cancer, just got diagnosed with cancer, or facing surgery. I am again reminded that we live in a fallen world that has done something to our environment and/or genetics to cause such an epidemic. The heaviest story on my heart is a friend who is a single mom and has been told she has lung cancer.

This past Sunday we had a guest singer who sang the old, and beautiful, hymn, "It is Well With My Soul." It was the most amazing rendition I have ever heard, and there were few dry eyes in the church. As I was talking about it with my Bible Study Group, one of the members said she did not know the story behind the song. The story behind the song deepens your love of the words, because the song was written by a grief stricken father named Horatio Spafford. Here is his story:

This hymn was written after several traumatic events in Spafford’s life. The first was the death of his only son in 1871 at the age of four, shortly followed by the great Chicago Fire which ruined him financially (he had been a successful lawyer). Then in 1873, he had planned to travel to Europe with his family on the SS Ville du Havre, but sent the family ahead while he was delayed on business concerning zoning problems following the Great Chicago Fire. While crossing the Atlantic, the ship sank rapidly after a collision with a sailing ship, the Loch Earn, and all four of Spafford's daughters died. His wife Anna survived and sent him the now famous telegram, "Saved alone." Shortly afterwards, as Spafford traveled to meet his grieving wife, he was inspired to write these words as his ship passed near where his daughters had died.

It Is Well With My Soul

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul

This song is about faith in the midst of gut wrenching sorrow. There are many people out there that have this kind of sorrow going on in their lives. Sorrow over a future that has changed due to disease or divorce. Sorrow in losing a job, or a child that has strayed away. Sorrow in a circumstance that seems impossible to change.

If you can sing this song with full agreement of the words as they pertain to your sorrow, then you have a foundation of faith that can't be rocked by anything. It takes a lot to be able to sing those words in the midst of a crisis. Sometimes it is not well with our soul. Sometimes we want something to be different and the storm is too vicious, and the sorrow comes like sea billows that threaten to overtake us.

Spafford did not stop with the storm overtaking him, he keeps coming back to the Refrain of, "It is well with my soul." It takes deep faith and trust in God to say those words. But he knew the peace that came from God alone in that moment. God's ways are not always understandable and clear, but when we trust Him, we can be certain that He is working on our behalf and will carry our burden for us. Spafford's story goes on to tell of a life that was devoted to helping the poor in Jerusalem. He continued to live for Christ and held on to the promise that the day would come when the clouds would be rolled back like a scroll and the trumpet of victory would sound.

I pray that you can find peace like a river that only comes from Christ.

Blessings,
Sandy

Psalm 18

2011-02-17T17:50:00.000-08:00

I read this today for the 100th time. I just love God's Word.

Psalm 18 as seen by Sandy

30 As for God, his way is perfect: He is a creative God
The LORD’s word is flawless; Nothing can be disputed when you know the creator
he shields all who take refuge in him. There are no other Gods, just empty idols
31 For who is God besides the LORD? Not Muhammad or Buddha
And who is the Rock except our God? None
32 It is God who arms me with strength I have felt that strength in the darkest of times
and keeps my way secure. I am safe in His arms
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; I can leap to high places because of Him
he causes me to stand on the heights. I don't deserve praise or applaud for it is Him
34 He trains my hands for battle; His Word is my training
my arms can bend a bow of bronze. I can do anything through Jesus
35 You make your saving help my shield, You have saved me and protected me
and your right hand sustains me; I can just give it all to you
your help has made me great. God gave me this ministry
36 You provide a broad path for my feet, The path is narrow for those who don't believe
so that my ankles do not give way. I thank God for his strength

Beautiful, and so true!
Sandy

Seeing Isn't Believing

2011-02-12T08:39:00.000-08:00

My Friend, Marti, gave me a book for Christmas called "The Cup of Comfort Big Book of Prayer." I really liked this writing by Carol McLean Wilde.

Sometimes we have to "act as if." This came home to me powerfully when I worked in radio. I couldn't actually see anybody out there listening. but I certainly had to act as if it were so. In fact, I regularly envisioned at least one person, ears glued to her radio, hanging on my every word. It helped me speak effectively one-on-one.

I want that same kind of energy in my relationship with God. I can't see Him with me right now, but I know He's here. I can't see my future, but I know He's there too. So, Dear God, help me act as if. Help me take the next steps into my day by faith - no matter what I see, or don't see,in front of me.

I think this is a great devotion for all of us. It is so hard to just step out in faith when you can't see what is in front of you. It reminds me of the "Raider's of the Lost Ark" movie where Harrison Ford steps off a cliff with faith that there are invisible steps that will appear. When we are trusting in our faith, we can be confident that God is there even when we can't see Him.

Act as if He is standing in front of you!

Blessings,
Sandy

God Hears Our Prayers!

2011-02-08T09:08:00.000-08:00

I had a CT Scan yesterday to check on how my body is responding to the lower dosage of Xeloda that I was put on after becoming toxic in December on the normal dosage. I went from six pills a day to two, so for the past month I have wondered (I confess I worried) if the dosage was enough.

My Oncologist called me three hours after the test (gotta love City of Hope's efficiency) and told me that more liver lesions have shrunk!!!!! Yahoo!

Thank you all for your prayers!! God truly hears the cry of our hearts, and I am forever grateful that I am on your heart. I know that He will continue to answer our prayers for complete healing. I will never doubt or diminish what God can do!!

I think I hear the angels blowing Vuvuzelas in heaven!!!
(A little World Cup soccer humor)

Sandy

By the Grace of God, I Am What I Am

2011-02-06T07:37:00.000-08:00

I think that we can never be reminded enough of God's grace, compassion, and profound love for us. When we grasp how deep and wide his love goes, it makes us want to respond back to him with gratitude and to live our life worthy of such a gift. Often times we can fall into the trap of thinking that we are not doing enough or that God will somehow take back His gift because we did not pray every day in a given week.

I fall prey to this at times because God has blessed me with such amazing miracles as I journey through cancer. Some days I wonder if I was grateful enough, or did I pray my promises enough, or did I Blog enough to be worthy of even asking for even more miracles, like complete healing.

We need not feel burdened with living up to God's expectations. He knows we are not perfect, just like we know our kids are not perfect. We don't stop loving them, or working on their behalf if they don't meet our expectations. The following is Max Lucado's account of the full story of the prodigal son, and I especially like his version of what happened after the son was brought back into the family.

The prodigal son trudges up the path. His pig stink makes passersby walk wide circles around him, but he doesn’t notice. With eyes on the ground, he rehearses his speech: “Father”—his voice barely audible—“I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am not worthy to be called your son.” He rehashes the phrases, wondering if he should say more, less, or make a U-turn to the barnyard. After all, he cashed in the trust fund and trashed the family name. Over the last year, he’d awakened with more parched throats, headaches, women, and tattoos than a rock star. How could his father forgive him? Maybe I could offer to pay off the credit cards. He’s so focused on penance planning that he fails to hear the sound of his father…running!

The dad embraces the mud-layered boy as if he were a returning war hero. He commands the servants to bring a robe, ring, and sandals, as if to say, “No boy of mine is going to look like a pigpen peasant. Fire up the grill. Bring on the drinks. It’s time for a party!”

Big brother meanwhile stands on the porch and sulks. “No one ever gave me a party,” he mumbles, arms crossed.

The father tries to explain, but the jealous son won’t listen. He huffs and shrugs and grumbles something about cheap grace, saddles his high horse, and rides off. But you knew that. You’ve read the parable of the gracious father and the hostile brother (see Luke 15:11–32).

But have you heard what happened next? Have you read the second chapter? It’s a page-turner. The older brother resolves to rain on the forgiveness parade. If Dad won’t exact justice on the boy, I will.

“Nice robe there, little brother,” he tells him one day. “Better keep it clean. One spot and Dad will send you to the cleaners with it.”

The younger waves him away, but the next time he sees his father, he quickly checks his robe for stains.

A few days later big brother warns about the ring. “Quite a piece of jewelry Dad gave you. He prefers that you wear it on the thumb.”
“The thumb? He didn’t tell me that.”
“Some things we’re just supposed to know.”
“But it won’t fit my thumb.”

“What’s your goal—pleasing our father or your own personal comfort?” the spirituality monitor gibes, walking away.

Big brother isn’t finished. With the pleasantness of a dyspeptic IRS auditor, he taunts, “If Dad sees you with loose laces, he’ll take the sandals back.”

“He will not. They were a gift. He wouldn’t…would he?” The ex-prodigal then leans over to snug the strings. As he does, he spots a smudge on his robe. Trying to rub it off, he realizes the ring is on a finger, not his thumb. That’s when he hears his father’s voice. “Hello, Son.”

There the boy sits, wearing a spotted robe, loose laces, and a misplaced ring. Overcome with fear, he reacts with a “Sorry, Dad” and turns and runs.

Too many tasks. Keeping the robe spotless, the ring positioned, the sandals snug—who could meet such standards? Gift preservation begins to wear on the young man. He avoids the father he feels he can’t please. He quits wearing the gifts he can’t maintain. And he even begins longing for the simpler days of the pigpen. “No one hounded me there.”

That’s the rest of the story. Wondering where I found it? On page 1,892 of my Bible, in the book of Galatians. Thanks to some legalistic big brothers, Paul’s readers had gone from grace receiving to law keeping.

I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who in his love and mercy called you to share the eternal life he gives through Christ. You are already following a different way that pretends to be the Good News but is not the Good News at all. You are being fooled by those who twist and change the truth concerning Christ.… (Gal. 1:6–7)

The churches suffered from the same malady: grace blockage. The Father might let you in the gate, but you have to earn your place at the table. God makes the down payment on your redemption, but you pay the monthly installments. Heaven gives the boat, but you have to row it if you ever want to see the other shore.

Your deeds don’t save you. And ychromour deeds don’t keep you saved. Grace does. The next time big brother starts dispensing more snarls than twin Dobermans, loosen your sandals, set your ring on your finger, and quote the apostle of grace who said, “By the grace of God I am what I am” (1 Cor. 15:10 NKJV)
From
Come Thirsty
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 2004) Max Lucado

Don't Let Satan Hack You!

2011-01-30T09:18:00.000-08:00

The word "hacked" has become part of our vocabulary due to computers. The definition of hacked is as follows:

Hacking (English verb to hack, singular noun a hack) refers to the re-configuring or re-programming of a system to function in ways not facilitated by the owner, administrator, or designer. - Wikipedia

This week, I was hacked on Facebook. Since I like to use my own experiences to write about, I am going to capitalize on this inconvenience. Apparently, someone gained access to my Facebook page and sent all of my Facebook Friends a message regarding a diet pill that I apparently saw on Oprah. I was mortified at first, but then turned it into a selling pitch for Girl Scout Cookies!

I was comforted to know that my close friends saw right through this pitch and did not take it to heart. Weight is a sensitive subject, and the last thing I would ever do is send someone information suggesting that they need to lose weight.

This experience, coupled with a really good devotion from Stormie Omartain's book "The Power of Praying Through the Bible" made me see how this really is a life lesson. When I noticed that someone had been posing as me, it was after a day of blessings from God as I pulled off a PTA Reception for 300 people regarding an art program. I was kind of riding high on success when I was brought down in a hurry by the realization that Satan sneaked in a back door via the Internet.

Satan is the master at sneaking around and trying to pose as something legitimate, when in fact he will bring you down in a second for his own gain. Satan will use any kind of weakness or breakdown in security to sneak in and attack. What is the only anti-virus security that can keep Satan away? The Word of God is the armor you need.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground... Ephesians 6:10

The moment we become believers, Satan wants to wage a war against us. He will use family squabbles, money, discouragement, and a great host of temptations to discourage us so that it will discredit our belief in Christ. We can't ever forget that Satan is the ultimate enemy and that our battle is not against flesh and blood, but the powers of the dark.

God's Word tells us how to protect ourselves from being "hacked" by Satan. The first thing God tells us, through his Word, is that we are not strong enough to battle Satan on our own. Paul tells us in Ephesians the specific pieces of armor we must use to fight Satan's lies.

Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

The most important weapon we have is prayer! Prayer gives us strength against the enemy, and reveals any weaknesses we might have where the evil one can get a foot in the door. Pray that God will reveal to you those areas in your life that need to be changed. Satan wants to keep us from the fullness of God, but we can thwart his plans with prayer, praise, and the Word of God.

The devil cannot stand against God's powerful anti-virus weapons!

Blessings,
Sandy

Collateral Damage

2011-01-23T07:29:00.000-08:00

This week I was at City of Hope for a check-up. The low dosage of Xelodex is working well, and my Oncologist feels it will be good to keep the dosage as it is. As with all medications, there are side effects. Since we are seeing the side effects we expected from the high dosage (skin issues on hands and feet), it is safe to assume that the chemo is at work.

Side effects are interesting. They can let you know that something is happening in you body, but they are also doing something damaging to something else on your body. So while we are fighting a more serious problem of cancer, there are less serious side-effects that are tearing apart another part of the body. Collateral Damage. Sometimes you have to sacrifice (pretty feet) for the hope of being free of a worse issue.

We just finished studying 1&2 Timothy at Glenkirk's Women's Bible Study. This past week we got to the end of 2nd Timothy and really saw the heart of Paul. For those who don't know, the books of Timothy in the New Testament Bible are letters that Paul wrote to Timothy encouraging him to stay true to God's Word and preach the gospel no matter how hard it will get. Paul is also writing these last words knowing that he will never be free again. His execution is getting closer, and he knows in his heart that he has to travel this road of sacrifice so that others will know the power and love of Jesus.

Paul considered himself collateral damage. He sacrificed his entire life for the purpose of building the church of Christ and seeing that those churches would carry the Word of God forward and not re-write it or water it down. He knew he would lose his life, but he also knew the moment he took his last breath here on earth, he would gain new life in the presence of God.

Collateral damage is a hard concept to swallow. Sometimes it comes in the form of leaving an abusive marriage to give the kids a healthier environment. Sometimes it means biting our tongue so that we can work peacefully with a person to resolve an issue. There are times we have to have medical tests and we worry if x-rays and MRI machines will harm us, but we need the important information they give.

Collateral damage can be a very humbling and beautiful experience. When you know that something bad in your life is working for the good in others, it is a sacrifice that can give you great joy if God is at the center. There are times when life does not look like what we expected or wanted. If we remember that God can work in all things, and that He does immeasurably more that we can imagine, then we have hope that the sacrifice of pain at the moment can work to the greater good.

I know that my cancer has brought more to my life, and the life of others, than I could have ever imagined or done on my own. I think God has used me as collateral damage so that I write for Him on this Blog, and get the message out of His love. Being collateral damage sounds worse than it is. It is a humbling experience, and a great joy to see. I treasure the work God has done in the past three years (four years in April).

I think I know a little of how Paul felt when he said that he was being poured out like a drink offering, but he had peace in knowing that he fought the good fight. His future on earth was unknown, but not looking good. However, he saw God at work in amazing ways, and it made it all well with his very soul. Sometimes, when you believe something in the depth of your soul, you will sacrifice everything for that belief. That is when peace, hope and faith step in and fill you with indescribable joy at the changes that can be made when one has God at their side.

For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my departure is near. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 2 Timothy 4:6-8

Fight the good fight!

Sandy

Lemonade

2011-01-20T09:07:00.000-08:00

This popped in my head today, I Googled it, and did not see it came from anyone else. So at the risk of plagiarism, I think this might be the first quote I have ever come up with on my own (that was publishable). I hope it makes sense! :)

"When life gives you lemons, pray, and let God make the lemonade." - Sandy Boulware

God's Creation

2011-01-16T07:23:00.000-08:00

My Neurosurgeon likes to see a brain MRI every 6-8 months to make sure that the cancer has not tried to sneak up on me. The MRI came back normal, so that was a good test to get behind me and know there is nothing to worry about in that region of my body.

City of Hope has this new open MRI machine. The best part of this machine is that there is a device that goes over your head that has a little mirror which is aligned perfectly with a television screen in back of you. They don't let you watch television, but they have "Planet Earth" playing, which is an amazing series on animals that just takes your breath away. I hate going into an MRI machine, but this makes it tolerable and interesting.

When I watch "Planet Earth", I am just thrilled to the core at the creation of God. We (me) don't always take time to think upon the amazing creations God has given us. Animals are just the tip of the iceberg of what God has done for our pleasure. The individual habits and characteristics of animals is just amazing. When I get out of the MRI machine, I walk away with a huge smile on my face because the God I worship and adore made everything I just saw, and so I know that He can do anything. Yes, anything!

Genesis 1:24,25 And God said, “Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind.” And it was so. God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.

The complex universe, and especially this little speck of a planet we live on, makes me believe even more in the Bible and the telling of how God created it all. I truly think it takes more faith to believe the Big Bang Theory or Evolution that it does to have faith in a star breathing God. I once heard someone say that the Big Bang Theory was like saying that you can lay out all the pieces of a Boeing 747 on a football field (nuts and bolts included) and that a perfect storm could create a perfectly put together airplane that could fly. It just can't happen. When you look at the enormous universe that we are still studying, the details of our planet and how it can sustain life, and the complexity of the human body... all you can do is stand amazed!!

This is the beginning blocks of faith and a curiosity about God. When you can accept that He is the only true God who created all that we know, including yourself, then you are on your way to getting closer to Him and realizing that He has made you for a purpose.

I hope that at some point this week, you can stop and be thankful for all that God created. Stand in awe of the bird outside your window, or the beautiful sunset, or the human eye and it's complexity. When you have that moment, you are communing with God. Sometimes all it takes is to have those few minutes of praise and thanks which then rejuvenates you to face the tasks and hurdles you have before you with confidence that God can do anything. Yes, anything!

My God is an awesome God...

Sandy

Lead Me to the Rock

2011-01-13T01:33:00.000-08:00

We sang the following song during our worship time a few weeks ago at Glenkirk. I asked for the words because they especially touched my heart after being so sick. These simple words can be a great comfort for any trial that we are faced with. I received a real visual when I sang these words. I saw Jesus shielding me and leading me, through the harshest of weather, to a place of refuge and peace. It is the kind of peace that only comes through trust in Christ; the one who makes all dark places light again.

The song is called "Lead Me" by Brenton Brown

Lead me, lead me
Lead me to the Rock
Lead me, lead me
Lead me to the Rock

When the fire comes
When the strong winds blow
Precious Savior take my hand
I can count on You, my Foundation's Stone
Rock of Ages You will stand

I just spent a 1/2 hour trying to lead you to the place where you could hear this song, but for some reason it is not available (so don't waste your time). I guess we are just meant to take in the words and sing our own melody.

Love,
Sandy

The Big and the Small

2011-01-09T07:49:00.000-08:00

I jumped into 2011 with all engines fired. This past week was a crazy one because I was down to the last days before my Mother's big 70th birthday party. There was lots to do, and the biggest time consumer was the picture DVD I had been working on for her that was still not not yet. As it is with life, things don't always go as planned, or they take longer to come to fruition.

Each morning I get up early to have my time with God. Something that I am trying harder to do is give not only the big things in my life to God, but to also hand over the small things. This week my prayer was simple, "Jesus, help me to make good decisions today. I pray that the DVD will be a blessing to her and others, and that all details of this party will come together. I pray that my mom will be healthy and nothing will keep her from having complete joy at her party."

Throughout the week I was really blessed and tickled inside by the small things that were working out in unusual ways. My slow computer that locked up on me the week before was given more memory last week, which made everything I was doing go so much faster. Yeah! Food started coming together. My dear friend, Margo, even offered to make her famous pear salad, even though she was not coming to the party (but she loves my mom). That was a time saver!!

Often times our prayers consist of coming to God when life is especially rough. When you have an on-going relationship with the maker of the universe, you have the benefit of going to Him over everything! I'm not talking about praying to find a $20 on the street, or that your lotto ticket will be the million dollar winner. It is more like a prayer of, "Heavenly Father, help me to be responsible with the resources you have given me, and to do my best to honor my commitments and you in everything I do."

When our prayers honor God and are not selfish, it is amazing how He will bless us in unexpected ways. Pastor Jim is always talking about not getting ahead of God. That's what really good communication with God does for a believer; it allows God to do the work and takes the burden off of us. Maybe something is not going as expected for you. Take is to God and see what He can do with it. It may be something that seems small in insignificant, but you would be surprised how God likes to answer little prayers as much as the big ones.

Come to me, all who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:28-29

Heavenly Father,
Thank you for constantly showing me that you delight in giving me small gifts as well as the big gifts. Thank you for listening to my concerns when I am making vacation plans or trying to decide on a purchase. If I am doing something with a pure heart and within your will, then I know you will direct me and give me wisdom to make the right decisions.
I sure love that about you!
Love,
Sandy

Welcoming 2011

2011-01-02T07:59:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!

It is something we all say with such enthusiasm, but for many people there is an underlying dread to those words. When we start the new year, we can't help but wonder what the year will hold. It is full of such uncertainty and questions.

These days there are many people who are worrying about their jobs and finances in the coming year. Some of us worry about health and if our situation will get worse. Many of us worry about our children and the temptations that are out there. Will they make good decisions? Aging parents can be a big concern. Sadly, there were some deaths of young dads this year, and our heart hurts for their families as they face the new year with continued grief.

Cast your anxiety upon Him, for He cares about you. 1 Peter 5:7

Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6:34

I am thankful to know that God cares about all of our worries and wants to shoulder the burdens for us. This does not mean that He will take away our hurts immediately. Sometimes we need to travel these difficult roads so that we learn to draw closer to Him and rely on His direction. There are often times that we want immediate help and a quick fix. I have found that God's timing is not our timing. The quick fix is usually not in His plan, but if patient, the wait is by far the best road because God is working behind the scenes on our behalf. Prayer and trust always leads to a better ending to our problems.

I know it is easier said than done to just cast your worries on Him and trust that He will work everything out. I am a worrier, like everyone else. But, I also know the feeling of complete peace in the midst of darkness. There are times that it takes me awhile to just let go and trust. When I do, it is the best feeling. Nothing beats the benefit of peace of mind and knowing that Jesus is at work on my behalf. Even when I get myself into my own mess, I know that I can go to Him and confess my shortcomings, and He will guide me (by scripture) to a better solution. Humbleness is often required in these moments. It is humbling for me to know that when I fall short, God is always there to help me get back up.

Pastor Jim had a wonderful sermon today from the book of 1 Samuel 8:1-22. We learned that the Jewish people asked for a King instead of a Judge to help them keep order in the land. God told them, through Samuel, that a King would cause them great misery. The people still insisted on having a King, and so God gave them what they asked for. Sadly, this did not work out at all like the people envisioned. What they wanted was not in line with God's will for them. They chose to put someone ahead of God instead of trusting in the plan that God had for them.

We often do the same thing as the people in the book of Samuel. We want our own way, and put our own desires ahead of God. This is breaking the greatest commandment of all, which is to not put anything above God. This brings me back to the thought about worrying. I should not put my own worries and desires before God. He is better at working things out than I am, so I need to trust is His ways.

Like the scripture says in Matthew 6:34, we all need to work on not getting ahead of God by worrying about tomorrow. If we are trusting in Him, then He will be 100 steps ahead of us working on our behalf.

Striving to be worry-less in 2011,
Sandy

Feeling Very Optimistic!

2010-12-29T14:20:00.001-08:00

My Oncologist was very gracious in calling me at home today to give me the results of my CT Scan, and saving Jon and I a trip in to see her tomorrow. She told me that there is significant improvement seen on the CT Scan. There are still some lesions, but the fact that they can see any improvement in only 3 weeks, is highly unusual because the white cells normally need more time to clear out the dead cells. She was very optimistic, and wanted to have me take a very low dosage of the same chemo, Xeloda, and see how I do.

She told me that I had the worst reaction to Xeloda she has ever seen. If I feel any kind of reaction to the low dosage, she wants me to stop taking it. I am going to start the medication tonight, so keep me in prayer that I tolerate this medication well. You all know I can't handle nausea and the inability to eat an In-N-Out burger!!!

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled, and do not be afraid. John 14:27

I have been thinking a lot about what I went through, and I have a real peace about the future and how God is at work. Although I don't have all of the answers, God has been gracious to give me a few glimpses into what He is working on. For one, it really drew me closer to Him, and made the season of Christmas more simple and much more meaningful. Not only did I thank Him profusely for helping me get through such a hard illness, I also thanked Him for the complete peace that He gifted me with. I really felt that when I called on Him in the darkest moment, He came through with a sign that He was with me and working things out on my behalf.

The other gift I got for Christmas was the postings and reports from friends on how the news impacted people and caused such a outpouring of love and prayers. I have been so confident in the number of people praying for me and my family, that I was really not surprised today when the doctor gave me such an encouraging message. I have outstanding medical care, and I have a God that can work anything out. That is a really good recipe for peace and hope about my future.

As I say goodbye to 2010, I reflect back on an amazing year. I had started the year going weekly to City of Hope for chemo, and in March seeing the lesions vanish. I have been told that I am in the 5% of people that the chemo would effect that quickly, which confirms to me again that it was God's timing. I decided to go off the chemo and enjoy my summer with my family. What a gift that was. We had a wonderful trip to New York and a great motor home trip. The news of the cancer returning to my liver was quite a blow on November 30Th, but here I sit with very encouraging news, and a new appreciation for God and His timing.

It is my fervent prayer that those who read my Blog will seek a deeper relationship with God in 2011. He is the one worth getting to know. The benefits of having a relationship with God is astounding. God gives me unmeasurable joy in the midst of adversity. The feeling of being part of His plan is humbling and exciting. My prayer for myself is that I will continue to keep God in the drivers seat and be ready for whatever comes my way. It is still a great "Journey of Faith."

God Bless,
Sandy

Prayer Request

2010-12-27T21:47:00.000-08:00

I hope you all had a blessed Christmas!

I would like to write more, but my computer seems to be sick and everything is taking a very long time to do.

I did want to ask for prayer on Tuesday as I have my CT Scan to see if the toxic chemo did any good attacking the cancer in the liver. I will get test results on Thursday. It was a huge answer to prayer that I was feeling well for Christmas. My appetite is back, and I have eaten my required amount of Christmas cookies.

Thank you for your constant prayers. I will let you know results on Thursday. Hopefully, I can get my computer fixed because I am horrible at being patient when it comes to slow electronics.

Sandy

The Greatest Gift of All

2010-12-22T21:48:00.000-08:00

By Max Lucado

And so it was.
And so Christ was born.
And so we have to wonder. What was that like? To have God within you. To have the Maker of the Universe reside inside you. To sense his moving, nudging and elbowing and think, “Divinity is stirring within me!” What was it like?

The answer is closer than you might imagine.

God gives you the same offer He gave Mary: the supernatural deposit of His son in your life. Scripture declares: Jesus lives in His children.

“Christ in you the hope of glory.” (Col. 1:27)
“Those who obey His commands live in Him and He in them.”
(I Jn. 3:24)

Take note of the precious preposition “in.” Christ isn’t just near you or for you or with you; he longs to be in you. God offers you the same Christmas gift he gave Mary-- the indwelling Christ. Christ grew in her until he came out. Christ will grow in you until the same occurs. Christ will come out in your speech, in your actions, in your decisions. Every place you live will be a Bethlehem and everyday you live will be a Christmas. You, like Mary, will deliver Christ into the world.

A fetus in Mary, a force in you. He will do what you cannot do. Wasn’t this the promise of Jesus?

The same hand that pushed the rock from the tomb can shove away your discouragement. The same power that stirred the still heart of Christ, can stir your flagging faith. The same strength that put Satan on his heels can, and will, defeat Satan in your life. The same power which brought Christ into Mary’s world, will bring Christ into your world.

So there it is. If you want to know how I get my strength, it is because I received the most amazing gift one could ever by given. Salvation. Because of my relationship with Christ, I can fall into His arms and groan when in pain. I can recite His promises and be encouraged by His Word. I can have the assurance that in the worst of times, He will not leave me. I can also be assured that in the best of times, He rejoices with me. He is the best gift giver I have ever known. His gifts never fade, break, or get old.

If you don't have that kind of relationship with Jesus, then there is a huge gift under the tree that you have not unwrapped! It is my prayer that you will accept that gift this year. When you unwrap the gift of salvation, you enter a whole new world that includes the perk of knowing that you never have to walk alone.

I send my deepest thanks for your prayers and support. You are just one of the many gifts that God has given me. Friendships, Prayer Warriors, and an amazing ministry. These are timeless gifts that make me humbled and grateful.

Merry Christmas!
Sandy

P.S. I had my In-n-Out tonight. Just a cheeseburger and fries. It all settled good, and I am feeling 100% so I will be enjoying the remaining days of Christmas. Thank you for the prayers!!!

My 17 Days of Christmas

2010-12-18T13:57:00.000-08:00

I am sitting at my computer enjoying the rain and eating saltine crackers, but dreaming of a Double Double Cheeseburger in my near future. I feel overwhelmed with gratitude that I am nausea free, something I have not been in seventeen days.

I love Christmas. I love the smells, the sounds, the decorations, the fun of Christmas. I am a list maker, a doer, a planner, and I keep things humming around my house with Christmas activities. You can only imagine how defeating and sad it was when in the first days of December, I am not feeling well. The first weekend of December was MY weekend. All the things I loved. The Glenkirk Women's Celebration Breakfast, a special Girl Scout viewing of "Tangled", the annual Bonita Home Tour, my Book Club Party, and a CIF Football Game thrown in for even more fun. I put on a happy face and tried to plug through it, but honestly, nausea is a joy killer. My conversation with God at this point was, "The timing of this stinks! But, I will praise your name no matter what."

The Lord gave me what I had, and the Lord has taken it away. Praise the name of the Lord!" Job 1:21

I called in to City of Hope and got some nausea medication, but it really did not put a dent in my problem, but I kept moving and doing and going because the next weekend was the first Christmas Party I have ever thrown in my 24 years of married life, and I figured I could get through it fairly well. On the morning of my party, I woke up feeling worse than I had since starting this chemo, but there was stuff to be done and I was willing myself (and making many prayers to God) to make it through this. Fortunately, I have great friends to help, and Valerie and Margo came to set up so that I could take a nap. Well, the party happened, and I barely survived a couple of hours and then had to go upstairs. I was totally defeated and miserably ill, and too sick to even swallow the chemo pills.

"God is our refuge and strength, a tested help in times of trouble." Psalm 46:1

The next day I decided to take myself of the Xeloda for good. I was so ill and in pain that I could not imagine swallowing another pill. I thought that maybe the pain would subside after awhile. I would go into more detail, but Jon did a good job on keeping you posted on the happenings last week that lead to my hospital stay. What he did not tell you is the worry and sadness it brought to our daughters. They had to make their lunches, shop for secret pals, and handle everything for themselves. I weep while writing this because I feel sad, but very proud of how they got through their week with such courage. If I even got started on Jon, and the care and courage he gave me, this Blog posting would take you an hour to read.

Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me hope. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promises give me life. Psalm 119:49,50

I don't want to be too melodramatic, but there came a time in the blur of last week that I wondered if there was something seriously wrong with me and that maybe this is how people with cancer to their liver die. I drifted in and out of sleep, and when awake, I read my little green book by Dodie Osteen called "Healed of Cancer", and I prayed my favorite verses that my Mom has labeled "Sandy's Promises from God." It comforted me to know that my God would never leave me, that He does impossible things, He is my strength, and He is the ultimate healer.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest. Psalm 22:1,2

Fast forward to Thursday night at 3:00 a.m. as I writhed in pain and was overwhelmed with nausea. I was finally able to have my next dose of morphine and nausea meds. And just before I drifted off, I prayed, "Lord, where are you? I know you would never leave me, but I need something tangible to know that you are here. Show yourself to me somehow."

I drifted into a three hour sleep, and when I woke up it was all gone. The severe cramps and the nausea had been lifted! I could hardly believe how I felt! I got out of bed and did a little business all by myself. Remembering what got me back to the hospital and admitted last night, I filled a urine jar that was sitting there on the counter with my name on it. When the nurse came in, I told her I filled the jar and she said she did not have any order to get a urine sample. She took it anyway. When the doctor came in, I asked about the problem with the urine and the high sugar content, and he had no mention of it in his report. Later I asked the nurse about my urine, and she said she sent it in and it came back normal. It was a non-issue.

Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

The only reason I went back to City of Hope that night was a really bad urine test. It was on the way back to COH that I decided that I would not leave that facility until I walked out feeling like I was going to live. I believe that God gave me my tangible sign that He had not left me by providing a reason to go back because I absolutely could not manage the toxic mess I was in at home. It was because of that urine test that I got admitted to the hospital there and given all that I needed to flush out my system; the same little problem that was a non-issue by morning! Praise God!

I came home on Friday evening. I won't be eating my Double Double anytime soon. I am on a very bland diet. But I, without question, am over the top joyous about watching Disney Channel with Michelle or looking at my Facebook with Rachel. Jon is wrapping presents like a professional. Everything that is family and Christmas is just so sweet and simple. We have thrown all things that are normally done over-the-top out the window!

Tomorrow we will go to church (9:45 Glenkirk if anyone wants to join us), and savor the real reason for this season. The true gift of Christmas came as a baby, in a unexpected way. A glorious package wrapped in humbleness and love. The baby came to two young teenagers who did not chose their path, but were accepting of the task that God gave to them. I guess you could say I get that kind of faith. Once you have felt the breath of God, you can never go back to what you were before.

Thank you all for your prayers. God heard them, and I felt them.

Love,
Sandy

Home

2010-12-17T19:01:00.000-08:00

Sandy is home from the hospital and resting comfortably. No further glucose issues or fever today. Thank you for your prayers and support. (And thank you to the sign maker (s) for the nice Welcome Home sign on the garage!) (You know who you are!)

She is doing much better and scheduled for 3 hydration infusions over the next 3 days. Not to worry, it's a home care specialist coming to the house and not me making her chug-a-lug red gatorade.

Jon

Hospital

2010-12-17T09:15:00.000-08:00

Sandy was moved into the COH Hospital at 1:00 AM. She is doing better and is in "good hands".
And no, that is not a play on words to get you to think about buying insurance from me. (Unless it works?..............)

Jon

Triage Unit

2010-12-16T21:18:00.001-08:00

Sandy is very sick. (Please do not call the house, her cell, or text her.) (I know everyone means well, but it is adding to the stress and scarring the kids.) I will update everyone as best I can. We spent the entire day at the City of Hope Triage Unit (think ER) and she received another 3 hour hydration infusion, along with pain medication (for cramps) and anti nausea medication. They also ran a bunch of tests. She was released about 5:30 PM and we were home for no more than an hour before the COH called back and wanted me to bring her back in. A urine test completed just prior to us leaving indicated citical levels of glucose and ketones which could result in a diabetic coma or worse. She also had a fevor spike up on her. She is back in the unit and most likely spending the night there. She is scheduled for hydration infusions over the next 3 days here at the house. She is extremely dehydrated and can't hold anything down. The chemo toxins need to be flushed out of her system. When people tell you that, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" - don't believe it.

Update

2010-12-14T21:17:00.000-08:00

Sandy is still not feeling well. We had an appointment at the City of Hope today where her Dr. feels she has not tolerated the chemo as expected. She was on her current drug about 9 days. Besides being very sick to her stomach and on the other end, she has developed a rash and sores inside her mouth. She has lost 10 pounds from her last visit because she hasn't been able to eat much the last 4 days and was severely dehydrated. (I on the other hand have gained 4 pounds over the last 10 days because I'm drinking way too much eggnog with Crown whiskey....) She spent about 3 hours there this evening having fluids put in. She is home tonight resting. She will be scanned again at the end of the month and a new game plan developed with possibly a new drug. Thank you for your prayers and we will call if we need anything. Pray that the fluids kick in and that her appetite returns.

Jon

So Sick

2010-12-12T18:30:00.000-08:00

Normally I like to write on Sunday, but I am feeling horrible. My new medication, Xeloda, is causing severe nausea. Pray that I can be put on another medication so that I can eat and get strength.

Thank You,
Sandy

The Restraining Order is Issued

2010-12-08T13:42:00.000-08:00

I've been told I need to meet head on what is on every one's mind, including mine. Elizabeth Edwards died yesterday and we have the same cancer. Elizabeth was diagnosed with returning breast cancer that metastasized to the bones in 2007, and recently it metastasized to her liver. I remember reading about her in the beginning stages of our discovery of my cancer. I felt connected to her because we were both hormone receptive positive, and on the same medication to strengthen the bones and stabilize the cancer. I really think it was through that "People" magazine article that I was stuck with the seriousness of my own illness.

In the years following, she was often given a chance to share her cancer journey with the public as she spoke out on other issues. I remember reading once about how she was doing things to prepare her kids for when she was gone, and it made me sad. I wondered if I should be doing the same. A voice said, "No!"

Yesterday was a difficult day for me. I'm a little fragile these days as it is, so the death of Elizabeth weighed on me all day. When I got to the end of the day, I was certain of only one thing. We had the the same diagnosis. That is it. I don't think we ever got a clear picture of what her faith was. She had a lot more stress going on in her life than I do. She was 61 years old. We most definitely travel different paths. Nonetheless, it was a sad day because a sister of cancer lost her battle.

Thankfully, I have Cathye Tipton who writes me notes in big bold letters so that I know her tone and not to question what she is stating. At 2 a.m. when I was awake and feeling weak, her message was read over and over. I sang the hymns she provided for strength and read again my Dodie Osteen book, "Healed of Cancer", which my Mother gave me when I was first diagnosed. This morning I struggled again with nausea and some other thoughts. After my family left, I decided to get forceful and order Satan out of my house. I went to Bible Study feeling a little bit stronger.

After our luncheon, a group of women gathered with our leader, Betsy, and they prayed over me. Then, Betsy prayed, "In the name of Jesus, we are implementing a restraining order that forbids Satan to get within 50 yards of Sandy or her home." Beautiful!!! I just loved that! I drove home laughing at the fact that we have power in the name of Jesus Christ to tell Satan to go to ---- well, away. He is not even allowed to be near me. Take that!!

In a Christmas skit, we were reminded this morning that it is not about the ribbons and bows and perfect Christmas scenes. It is about remembering the miracle of Christmas. No person in their right mind would write a story about the Messiah coming in such a humble way. Only God writes stories like this that stand the test of time. He is the author of hope, faith, and love. All of which I have in abundance, and can never be robbed of.

I can never stop thanking you all for your powerful prayers. This is my story, and I'm not living the same story as someone else. My story has great promise for exciting "Godincidences" and miracles along the way. I have promises to back that up!

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. It is God who arms me with strength. Psalm 18:30,32

Gaining Strength,
Sandy

2010-12-06T04:03:00.000-08:00

One of my dear friends reminded me of this verse:

"The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; The God of my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold and my refuge." Then in verse 47 - The Lord lives! Blessed be my Rock! 2 Samuel 22:2,3 & 47

I am thankful for a God that gives me strength and will be my refuge. I especially need the strength at the moment. Nausea set in this weekend from the medication, so it has been difficult to enjoy the Christmas celebrations that were planned in advance.

I can only imagine what Mary and Joseph felt as they traveled to Bethlehem. This was not at all like they had planned. They were so young, and how could this be happening to them? I think Mary had it a little easier than Joseph. She new, without a doubt, that this child inside was from the Lord. Joseph, on the other hand, had to get past logic and keep reminding himself that an angel came to him, and this was not a dream. Then, in the middle of all this turmoil, they have to travel to Bethlehem for this ridiculous census. That was really rotten timing! They (and we) now know that prophecy was told of where the Messiah would be born.

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah,
out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old,from ancient times.” Micah 5:2

I know that God has a purpose for this new obstacle, and that His timing is perfect. At the moment I take issue with the timing, but I know I will need to get to a place of submission and thanks for bringing what really matters to light during this holiest of seasons.

Blessings,
Sandy

The Journey Continues

2010-12-02T08:36:00.000-08:00

I feel deeply sad for those out there who fight the same fight I do and don't have amazing friends like mine. Your encouraging words lift the darkness and set my family on solid ground. This is truly a beautiful "Journey of Faith." I liked the "pit stop" I was was in, but it is time to get back on the road. Thank you for traveling with me.

"As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. It is God who arms me with Strength." Psalm 18:30,32

Feeling the prayers,
Sandy

Count Your Blessings...

2010-11-30T18:56:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite songs during the Christmas season is "Count Your Blessings."

When your worried,
and you can't sleep.
Count your blessings
instead of sheep,
and you'll fall asleep,
counting your blessings.

I did not get great news on my CT Scan when I saw my doctor today. It appears that the liver lesions have come back. They are very small, but an indicator that the cancer has advanced and I am not responding to the treatment I was put on in May. Thankfully, I am not going back on weekly chemotherapy. I am going to try a chemo pill (I don't have the name at the moment) that I will take twice a day for the next three weeks and then the doctor will run some blood test to see how I am reacting. Fortunately, there will be no hair loss. There are other side effects that will start to happen in about three weeks.

So, what do you do when given bad news? Cry. Tell the family. Cry some more. Yeah, I am really disappointed at the moment. It is kind of odd, but I just got done telling my small group last meeting that I was so thankful for the reprieve, and I hope that I don't overreact when bad news comes again. I new it would come again at some point. This is what my cancer does. It finds a way around the medication.

As sad as I am, I am still counting my blessings, and get ready, it is a long list!

I got to be off chemo for the summer. No hot wig. Cute short hair. Free to travel and play all summer. New treatment that does not involve going to City of Hope once a week. A reminder that I should not be sweating the small stuff. Having the knowledge that hundreds of people will be praying by the end of the week. The comfort of God's Word. The confidence that God can heal more than once. The love of Christ and that He is in the driver's seat. The journey that has been so sweet. Prayers from my kids. Being taken care of by my husband. A pep talk from Mom. A loving talk with Dad. Deeper prayer time with God. Not having to shoulder this alone.
Great friends. Really, really great friends. Friends that pray.

The list could go on, but you get where I am going. This is not the time to feel sorry for myself. There are gifts to wrap, parties to attend, and songs to sing. Tonight I will be singing about counting my blessings, and praying that God will show me the way to being a blessing to someone else. The journey hasn't ended, it just got interesting...

Thank you for the prayers!
Sandy

The Christmas Season is Here!

2010-11-28T07:31:00.000-08:00

It has been a wonderful week of having the kids home from school and being together. We have watched some movies, got caught up on some favorite shows, and spent time with friends. Thanksgiving was delicious in more ways than one. The turkey dinner was fabulous, and the time with family was the best.

Now we turn our attention to Christmas. The lights are up and decorations have consumed the house. We have had our first sip of Egg Nog, and put the Christmas music into the CD player. The Christmas list is blank, and the creative juices need to kick in. No doubt, it is a busy time of the year!

As I surveyed the kids this year about what they want, they echoed the words Jon and I have said, which is, "We can't think of anything that we really need." Nice words coming from your kids. After awhile you realize, it is all just stuff. We have lots of stuff. We have closets full of stuff. We all agreed that maybe doing something together would be the best gift. Like a play or a concert.

The Bible talks about this very thing. We are told not to store up treasures here on earth because "stuff" does not matter. We are to store up treasures in heaven.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:19-21

It is hard to walk through Kohl's with a 20% off coupon and not want lots of stuff! I can always find something for myself, the house, the girls... We have this need to have new clothes and pretty things around us. But, when you stop and think about the needs of others, it makes you want to go out and do something that really counts. I think my family needs a service project to really understand our over abundance of stuff and how little it all means. We need to sacrifice something to really understand what giving is all about. As I write that sentence, I wonder if we are up to the challenge.

Rachel told me that she recently read "The Gift of the Magi" and loved the story about a man who sells his watch to buy some beautiful hair clips for his wife's long hair. The wife cuts her hair and sell it so she can purchase a chain for her husband's watch. In the end, they find that their sacrifice out of love is the best gift of all.

The gifts that the Magi brought to baby Jesus were the first gifts of Christmas. They were meaningful and prophetic gifts. Gold symbolized virtue, and was something you gave to a royalty. Frankincense symbolized prayer and was a religious ointment. Myrrh symbolized suffering and was used for embalming. Jesus became the King of all, our Redeemer, and the one who sacrificed His life for us all. Truly a gift that can't be matched by us! All we need to do is accept the gift of salvation.

My prayer is that everyone will seek the gift of Christmas this month. Try out a new church (Glenkirk Church in Glendora - 9:45 a.m. sevice), soak in the words to a beautiful Christmas hymn, or give your time and resources to someone who is in need. All or one of these would make the Christmas season a true gift to yourself.

Blessings,
Sandy
P.S. Jon is still getting used to being 50. Skydiving did not work out due to weather, so he will postpone it until the spring. I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief!

A Part of the Puzzle

2010-11-22T07:03:00.000-08:00

I am about a week behind, but still reading through the Bible in a year. I am going to be honest with you; I am not going to read Revelations. Studied it, read it before, giving myself a break at the end of the year.

At the moment I am in Acts and the beginning of the Christian Church. As I read the first part of Acts the other day, I was really hit by a story of a man that had been lame for 40 years. I stopped and thought about this man and what life must have been like for him.

As Peter and John approached the Temple, a man lame from birth was being carried in. Each day he was put beside the Temple gate so he could beg from the people going into the Temple. Acts 3:2,3

If you have dealt with a nagging illness, you can relate (in part) to this man. He was lame from birth, so while other kids ran around, he was probably already begging for money and leading a lonely life. We can only imagine the frustration, anger, and sadness that must have run through this man who had no hope of being anything more than what he was.

The man asked Peter and John for for some money. Peter said, "I don't have silver or gold, but I will give you what I have. In the name of Jesus, get up and walk." Then Peter took him by the right hand and lifted him up. As he did this, the man's feet and ankles were instantly healed. The man stood on his feet, and began to walk! Then, walking, leaping, and praising God, he went into the Temple with them. Acts 3:4-8

Wow! He started walking after a life of being crippled! When I read that passage, I get a big smile on my face because I can just imagine the indescribable joy he must have felt at that moment. I wonder how many of us have had a "no words to describe it" moment in our life where the joy is beyond anything earthly. I have, and it is always centered around something amazing that God has done in my life. Those feelings are not man-made.

All of the people saw the man walking and praising God. When they realized that he was the lame beggar, they were astounded!

This entire event was the preface to Peter and John addressing the people at the Temple and the Jewish Council. The scripture says that many people heard their message and believed, and that the numbers increased to 5,000.

Just think, this lame beggar had no hope, no faith, and no purpose but to beg for survival. Forty years is a long time to be in this kind of condition. Sometimes we wonder why we have to endure such heartache, trials, and tribulations. Where is God, and what is my purpose? We may not like God's timing, but this story confirms that God's timing is perfect. That man, that very day, at the perfect moment, encountered God. He accepted the gift of healing, he praised God, and he gave a testimony. Other lives were forever changed because of him. The church grew, and he had a place in history. Not a footnote, but an entire passage about how his willingness to be God's tool became one of many ways that the message of Jesus was spread.

It is comforting to know that God can use broken people for a great purpose. If you are broken because of trials in your life, hang on and let God guide you to a place of rest and peace. He can do all of the work, you just need to obey and be the instrument. I can honestly say that being an instrument for God in the midst of cancer has been one of the greatest joys of my life.

Have a blessed Thanksgiving!
Sandy

Jon's 50th Birthday

2010-11-19T06:47:00.000-08:00

My husband turned 50 today! I just want to say, I am married to the most amazing man! He is creative, sensitive, fun, athletic, smart, full of integrity, a lover of Red Sox, a book worm, a good friend to many. He delivers flowers to those who need encouragement. He sends comics in the mail to people for a laugh. He referees games and fills up his hours helping in the sport his daughter's love. He loves God with all of his heart. He runs, plays basketball, and loves to hike (not big/icy mountains). He is going skydiving next Tuesday (pray for his safety).

He is the best Dad to his two daughters. He brought out the very best in me!

I hope God did not break the mold when He made Jon. I need two more of him for our daughters!

I Love You So Much!!!!

Happy Birthday!
Sandy

Bless the Pit

2010-11-14T21:16:00.000-08:00

Pastor Jim is in the middle of a wonderful sermon series on Genesis. He reminds us each week that these stories are our legacy, and that the Bible is full of dysfunctional families. If you ever worry that your family is too dysfunctional, then you should read about the crazy shenanigans of the people written about in the Old Testament of the Bible.

This week's story comes from Genesis 37. It is the story of Joseph (with the colorful coat). He was the favorite son because his father loved his mother more than the other wives. He had ten older brothers, and they were very jealous of him. Joseph did some not too cool things to his brothers. One of the mistakes Joseph made was telling them that he had a dream in which they all bowed down before him. Not too humble, right?

These dreams disturb the older brothers, so they throw Joseph into a pit and plan on killing him. One of the brothers talks the rest into selling Joseph to a caravan that was going through town, and so they sold Joseph into slavery. Joseph ended up in Egypt in prison. Through God's working, Joseph ended up telling Pharaoh the meaning to some of his disturbing dreams and Pharaoh made Joseph his top advisor. This all worked out well because when there was a famine, Joseph ended up saving his brothers and father from starvation.

Later in the story, Joseph travels by that pit he was thrown into. That pit was the beginning of a very dark and terrible time in Joseph's life. He was taken from great privilege and had to serve as a slave for many, many years before God brought him out of slavery and into the palace. You would think that Joseph would look at that pit with hostility, but he does something radical. Joseph blesses the pit!

Do you have a pit in your life that needs to be blessed? Sometimes it is the pits that bring us closer to God and grows us the most. There are times when we can feel abandoned by God, and we sit in a pit wondering if He has a plan. Romans 8:28 says all things work for the good of those who are called by Him. That tells us that if we walk in the footsteps of Christ, we have hope for tomorrow and that the pits in our life can work for His glory.

Sometimes we are tempted to pray for an easy life for someone, or ourselves. I don't think that an easy life is quite as good as it sounds. It is the challenges in life that grow us the most and molds our character. I talked last night to a friend who's son lost part of his leg in an accident. She told me that she thinks he is a different person since the accident. He is more compassionate, more outgoing, and more easy going than before the accident. He has been able to take his pit and bless it. He is better off without the leg because he gained insight about himself and life that he would not have known before the accident.

I know there are some pretty big pits out there, but we have a God that is bigger than any pit. My prayer this week is not that life will be easy, but that those who are facing rough times will cling to the hope of Christ. He can truly make all things work for the good when we let Him.

Blessings,
Sandy

Walking Strong

2010-11-07T21:40:00.000-08:00

Today I walked my fourth Walk for Hope, and it was a wonderful event! I had 30 people on my team called Mrs. B's Junior Mints. When I first did the walk, it was a way for my Junior Girl Scout Troop to be involved in a service project. Our team has added some awesome honorary members along the way, and each year it is exciting to see who will join us. We heard there were 9,000 people today at this event! A sea of people walking with passion.

Our Nation just ended a month of focus on Breast Cancer. My family is still polishing off yogurt cups with pink lids that need to be mailed in so contributions will be made to research. Isn't it amazing that we have an entire month dedicated to this one cancer? It is kind of sobering when you think about the magnitude of breast cancer, and how it has effected everyone in America either directly or indirectly.

Today there was a Survivor Booth, and I got to go pick out a purple boa to wear all day designating me as a Survivor. You feel all special and good to be able to walk into the Survivor Pavilion, until you really think about that you are walking into a "survivor only" area. Sometimes it is surreal to think that this is my fourth year of living with stage 4 cancer, and that a day does not go by without thinking about it, praying about it, and living with the effects of it.

I often think about how different my life would be right now if I did not have cancer. More than that, I think about how devastating my life would be right now if I had cancer and no faith or hope for the future. It is only because of my faith in God that I can live daily without fear or worry. My relationship with my Heavenly Father allows me the luxury of putting my cares on Him. After all, He has worked miracles in my life, and (hopefully) miracles in the lives of those around me. I am fortunate to have withstood the big storm in my life with God as my shield, and He continues to protect me with His grace and mercy.

As for God, His way is perfect; the word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him. It is God who arms me with strength. Psalm 18:30,32

Today it was an honor to be the one to captain a team and participate in the raising of funds for breast cancer research. But, more than anything, I am proud to be a child of God, who is the navigator of my journey of faith, and whom I care most about shining my light for and drawing attention to.

Thank you to all of you who have supported breast cancer research, especially as you were probably hounded in the month of October. It is worth it though! Fortunately for me, there have been many advances in the treatment of cancer. And fortunately for me, I have a big God!

Blessings,
Sandy

It Is Not About Me?

2010-11-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

Friends and family are always wanting me to give updates on how I am really feeling. It is also helpful to know what to pray for. I am very thankful that I don't have to go to chemotherapy every Tuesday and get shots three days a week. I still marvel at the thought that I am cancer free in my liver and that I have this great freedom. I think about it most often on Tuesdays when I am able to be home and have a quiet day to get things done. I do have side effects from the daily chemo pill (Aromasin), which includes achy joints and flair ups in my back, so I don't always sleep well for long stretches of time. This is a bit frustrating, but I try to sneak a short nap in each day to make up for the loss of sleep. I need to get motivated to exercise, but then I always seem to do something that sets off pain, so I do short walks with Buddy when I can.

Freedom from chemo has provided me with more time to do other things that I did not get to do last year. The down side is that I have filled up all of my time with thing that I did not get to do last year!

I am chairperson for the PTA Art Contest called Reflections. I am also VP of Reflections at the Bonita Council Level. I work in Michelle's class once a week, which I sadly did not get to do at all last year. I love being in the classroom and watching how the students interact with each other. I am on the 5th Grade party committee, the 5th grade 50's Day committee, and I chaperon choir once a month.

All of the above involves Michelle at the elementary school. I also have Rachel (a teenager!) to manage. Keeping up with her grades, her after school activities, her social life, is a full time job.
But, I love every minute of being a mom to these precious girls, and I am so grateful that I have not had to work outside of my home all of these years.

You are probably thinking the same thoughts my husband thinks when I rattle off all I have to get done in one day. The thought that keeps going through my head is that this is IT, this is the last year of elementary school. After eleven years of picking up a child at the pink school, it will all be forever different next September. Yes, I am sad about that. With each major event that I am a part of (class parties, Halloween Parades, etc..), I am saying goodbye to a huge part of myself. Yet, I am thankful that my girls are healthy and that I am here to share these great moments with them.

I know I am not alone when I say that I fill up my days with tasks and to do lists. I am constantly feeling the guilt of not slowing down. I am always behind on my reading through the Bible, and I have a stack of other great books that would inspire me and be Blog worthy material. I sometimes find myself rushing through prayers so I can get my day off to a roaring start, and I know I am missing out on quality time with God. I have started reading a book about silence and solitude (no, Jon did not write it). I am working on quieting my head and listening to what God wants for me.

My biggest struggle is keeping a balance in my life. Eating healthy, good sleep habits, reading material that is uplifting or brings knowledge, and quality family time. These are the things that are important to me. Above all things, I still have a passion for wanting to be a testimony for God's goodness and grace. It is truly my purpose in life, and I love talking about the wonders of God. I strive each day to make what I do count. I don't want that passion, and the ministry God gave me, to become watered down or complacent.

For those of you who have me on your prayer list. You can pray that the cancer remains stable and that someday we will see another miracle when the cancer is gone. I could use prayer for my back and other aches and pains, especially as the weather turns colder. I would also appreciate prayer for wisdom on posting Blogs and sharing my testimony with others. Thank you to all of the supporters of this Blog! I am honored to still be writing over 3 1/2 years! I appreciate your comments and encouragement because then I know that God is still using this Blog (His Blog) in a beautiful way.

God Bless,
Sandy

Having Faith to Wait for the Answer

2010-10-26T06:26:00.000-07:00

Daniel 10:12 Then he continued, "Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. But the prince of the Persian Kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, the archangel, came to help me.

In a recent reading, this story caught my attention because, like everyone, there have been times I have prayed for something and felt as if I was not getting an answer. In the scripture above, Daniel had faithfully fasted and prayed for weeks and had seen no response. After 21 days, an angel comes to him in a vision and tells him that he had been sent on the first day Daniel started to pray, but that the Prince of Persian (Satan) had detained him. He told Daniel that when he was persistent with his prayers, help was sent in the form of archangel Michael so the message from God could reach Daniel.

This story is a good reminder that our prayers do not fall on deaf ears. We don't always know all of the work that is going on behind the scenes when we are praying. God likes us to be persistent, and our prayers are powerful and can fight off the evil that surrounds us. We also live in a different time frame than God. What we think we need right now, is maybe not what God wants for us at the moment. The answer might be yes, but the timing is off.

I pray with my family every night that God will heal me of the cancer that is all over my bones. My girls pray, Jon prays, and I know my parents and many great prayer warriors pray for that same thing. It has been over three years, and our prayers have not been answered in the way we want, and in the timing we want. Yet, God sees a bigger picture, and He has not ignored our prayers. I look back and think that I would have missed out on some great moments if God had answered our prayers two or three years ago. We can be persistent and know that when his time is right, He will answer.

If you have prayed for a child, relationship, etc... and have not received an answer, don't give up. Keep praying! The prayers of a righteous man or woman are powerful and effective (James 5:16).

Heavenly Father,
Increase my faith so that when I pray for answers I can be certain that you hear and will answer in your timing. Help me to be patient and to not give up on the things that matter in my life. Give me the strength to battle the enemy when he throws things my way, and to not grow weary in my prayers.

Sandy

When God Whispers Your Name

2010-10-19T20:09:00.000-07:00

by Max Lucado

The sheep listen to the voice of the shepherd. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.
—John 10:3

WHEN I SEE a flock of sheep I see exactly that, a flock. A rabble of wool. A herd of hooves. I don’t see a sheep. I see sheep. All alike. None different. That’s what I see.

But not so with the shepherd. To him every sheep is different. Every face is special. Every face has a story. And every sheep has a name. The one with the sad eyes, that’s Droopy. And the fellow with one ear up and the other down, I call him Oscar. And the small one with the black patch on his leg, he’s an orphan with no brothers. I call him Joseph.

The shepherd knows his sheep. He calls them by name.

When we see a crowd, we see exactly that, a crowd. Filling a stadium or flooding a mall. When we see a crowd, we see people, not persons, but people. A herd of humans. A flock of faces. That’s what we see.

But not so with the Shepherd. To him every face is different. Every face is a story. Every face is a child. Every child has a name. The one with the sad eyes, that’s Sally. The old fellow with one eyebrow up and the other down, Harry’s his name. And the young one with the limp? He’s an orphan with no brothers. I call him Joey.

The Shepherd knows his sheep. He knows each one by name. The Shepherd knows you. He knows your name. And he will never forget it. I have written your name on my hand (Isa. 49:16).

Quite a thought, isn’t it? Your name on God’s hand. Your name on God’s lips. Maybe you’ve seen your name in some special places. On an award or diploma or walnut door. Or maybe you’ve heard your name from some important people—a coach, a celebrity, a teacher. But to think that your name is on God’s hand and on God’s lips . . . my, could it be?

Or perhaps you’ve never seen your name honored. And you can’t remember when you heard it spoken with kindness. If so, it may be more difficult for you to believe that God knows your name.

But he does. Written on his hand. Spoken by his mouth. Whispered by his lips. Your name. And not only the name you now have, but the name he has in store for you. A new name he will give you...

Memories...

2010-10-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

I have taken on a huge task of going through all of our photo albums and picking out photos to scan onto a disk so that I can make a DVD for my mother's (big number) birthday in January. Last night I felt like Chevy Chase in the movie Christmas Vacation when I started getting sad when reliving sweet times gone by.

I did not feel sad looking back at my childhood, although I had a good one. I did not feel sad looking back at teenage years, although they were fun. I did not even feel sad looking at pictures of Jon and I in our twenties, although I would like to look like that now.

I felt really, really sad when I looked at the pictures of us when the girls were young (parents will understand). Those sweet times of two little girls in pig tails. They idolized me for one thing (I miss that), but life was much slower and simpler. Some people don't realize what they have until it is gone. I remember distinctly thinking, on many occasions, this is truly the best time of my life. Sometimes I would give every penny I own to go back...

I have stage 4 cancer people! I am allowed a pity party once a year!

Do you ever have anxiety over living your life well? I sometimes look back and think I would have done things differently knowing what I know today. I am sure everyone feels that way every now and then. I wish I would have taught my girls early on that chores are fun...

Pastor Jim talked about this subject last Sunday. He talked about how we have a legacy when we follow God's Word that is beyond any legacy we could make without Him. No matter how we live, if we live for Crist, we are credited with this amazing legacy we did not earn.

I liked Jim's analogy of a great piece of music. A high school band could play a piece by Beethoven, and not play it well. Does that mean that the written music is bad? No, it is a masterpiece and everyone knows that it is the band that did not do it justice.

We accept the legacy of Jesus and become part of the story, but we can't ever live up to or destroy the true masterpiece that was written by God. The cool thing is that we get credited with that legacy!

When I look at these picture albums (yes, all hard copy neatly fitted into slots with headers), I know that some day they will be in the hands of someone who is looking at Grandma Rachel or Michelle and not feel the need to keep all of these mementos. They will get thrown away. But, if I am credited with the legacy of God, then (hopefully) that great grandchild of mine will still be living the life that we instilled in our girls, who instilled in their children.

Of all the things that people say about me (charming, pretty, funny, etc...ha ha), I hope they say,
"Sandy had amazing faith. I want what she had." Then they can start their own legacy. One that truly counts.

Blessings,
Sandy

Comfortable?

2010-10-10T07:50:00.000-07:00

In the quote that I posted last week, Rick Warren says, "God is more interested in our character than our comfort." That kind of statement could really make some people uncomfortable, especially if they don't really know that much about God.

I think that the fear of God, or the misunderstandings, about who He is and why He lets horrible things happen in this world, keeps many people from wanting to know Him better. Maybe they think that if they just don't give Him their time or attention, they won't have to feel guilty for not going to church or reading His Word. Maybe they really do view God as someone who wants them to be uncomfortable in life. What is fun about that?

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

I love this verse, because it is one of many verses that prove that God wants the very best for us. He has a plan for my life and yours! He wants to prosper us! You might say, "Sandy, how has he prospered you? He allowed your bones to be filled with cancer, which He has not healed completely." I would imagine that most people would not like that kind of plan for their life.

I have heard many stories, of women and men, who have battled cancer and had no faith. Disease happens whether you are a Christian or not. It is a mystery we have not quite unraveled yet (and so we wear pink and walk cancer walks...). God did not strike me with cancer. He knew it would happen, and He knew that my faith would be strong , but because I am His, I have promises for hope and a future! When I hear of the lonely, hopeless ending that unbelievers have when they die, I can say with confidence, "I will always have hope and joy because of the amazing scripture and miracles that come from a God who loves me and is pleased when I can show faith in Him through difficult times."

"God does not care about our comfort..."

When Jon and I were told I had a bad MRI it was uncomfortable. When we told our girls that their mommy has cancer, it was uncomfortable. Healing from a broken neck was uncomfortable. Dealing with anxiety, and thoughts of death, were uncomfortable. I did not for a minute think that God did not care about these things, but I needed to travel this road for a reason.

"God cares about our character..."

Being a light for Christ has been the greatest joy of my life. Having a Blog ministry is the greatest gift of my life. Sharing about hope and faith with others, it the great desire of my heart. Being healed of cancer in my liver is the greatest moment of my life. Walking a closer walk with my Shepard and King, and deepening my understanding of Him, has been a character building time that I would not trade for anything.

If you are one who had a hard time swallowing that quote from Rick Warren, then you have not walked the path that God has set out for you, which is:

1. Open you Bible and start reading the New Testament and/or Psalm. It is exciting to get to know God and His love for mankind, and the price He paid for our freedom from Satan's ownership of us. We are all fallen and sinful people. Jesus wipes us clean by being the sacrificial lamb.

2. Start praying. This is just talking with God the Father. Talk like a child who does not understand a story, but wants to know what it means and how to get closer to Him. Don't start with a list of demands! He is not a vending machine. Start with a heart that desires to know the wonders of why He loves you, and what He wants from you.

3. Talk with someone. Confide in a friend who can help you as you struggle with the thought of wanting a deeper relationship with God. It is good to be accountable to someone about reading, praying, and seeking. If you are already a follower of Christ, you may need to be accountable to someone as you seek an even deeper understanding and love of God's will for your life. Join a Bible Study!

As Rick Warren puts it, "The purpose of life is a preparation for eternity." We are all going to die. Hopefully later than sooner. We can't stop this from happening! But if we want to fulfill our purpose, then we are to seek a closer relationship with God while on earth that will carry us through into life eternal in heaven.

I don't wish to be uncomfortable, but I am not afraid of it as much anymore. As someone who has felt the pain, but made it through, I can say with confidence that is was worth it to be in a place of deeper understanding of God's love for me.

Blessings,
Sandy

Breast Cancer Month

2010-10-04T11:59:00.000-07:00

October is the official month for breast cancer awareness. While watching football tonight, an entire halftime show was dedicated to breast cancer survivors. For those, like me, who live with cancer year round, it is nice to see others wearing pink bracelets and doing things to raise awareness. Rachel's high school kicked off the month by having a "pink" day last friday. Rachel's friends made shirts and wore them in memory of those they know who have fought the fight.

Although it has been several years since Rick Warren's wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, his inspiring interview by Paul Bradshaw is being cirrculated via e-mail. I thought I would post it because it is very powerful. This is what Rick Warren, author of The Purpose Driven Life, said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond, In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillion of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act, the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life: The goal is to grow in character, In Christ-likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you got to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believ'e that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, "which is my problem, my issues, my pain."

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people...You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instanfly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before.

I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for you to own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72.

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan - to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better...God didn't put me on earth just to fulfil a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Thank you for the Prayers

2010-09-30T23:08:00.000-07:00

I forgot to thank everyone for their prayers last week. The day after I posted that we needed some prayer to make it through the weekend, both Jon and I started to feel much better!

I like this statement from my Daily Bread:

"If we only want something Jesus can do for us, our relationship with Him will be limited. When we want Jesus Himself, He brings completeness to our lives. Jesus wants, first and foremost, to make us whole." David McCasland

I want God first and foremost because it is truly a sweeter journey!
Sandy

24 Years and Counting

2010-09-26T22:30:00.000-07:00

September 27 is a special day for Jon and I! We celebrate our 24th anniversary this year! We spent the weekend in Laguna, thanks to a wonderful surprise that Jon had set up for me. We enjoyed a delicious dinner, a movie, and a great stroll on the beach.

Twenty four years ago we had no idea what we were really getting into. We said our vows and never gave the "sickness" part of what we were saying much thought. That part is for fifty years later when we are old and feeble. Sure we will take care of each other!

I suppose our first health crisis came when I miscarried before Rachel, and four times afterward. The second health crisis was Jon's accident and long recovery. Now we face a crisis of great magnitude, like none we ever could have imagined. Cancer. It still seems unreal when we really stop and examine our life and what has happened.

When Dr. Bill Tipton married us, he told how God, Jon and myself were like a rope. The rope would not be strong enough to stay together without all three parts of the rope intertwined. I think about that statement today because Dr. Bill was right. We have kept our promise to God, and He has guided us, blessed us, carried us, grieved with us. Jon and I are strong because of our relationship with Christ.

We may not have known what was ahead 24 years ago, but it would not have changed anything. We made those vows and fully intended on keeping them. Our blessings outnumber the pain. There was never a question on what we would both do for each other. We knew in our hearts then, like we know now, that whatever comes our way, we will face it together. We are strong because of the love that God has given us.

Bless be the tie that binds our hearts in perfect love...

I love you Jon!
Thank you for taking care of me, for providing for our family, and for being the spiritual leader that brings us all together each night for prayer before bed. You are an awesome father, a great friend and encourager to others, and a magnificent husband.
Love Forever,
Sandy

Prayer Request

2010-09-23T21:22:00.000-07:00

Jon and I planned on getting away for our 24th anniversary this weekend. He has bronchitus, and I have been having major back spasms. Our first weekend alone all year and this happens!
Bummed,
Sandy

God Never Changes

2010-09-19T08:05:00.000-07:00

A new school, a new job, a new house, meeting new people. Change is hard. Some of us have had more than our share of change. I remember getting sad when the girls grew into a bigger size of diaper!

This is what Max Lucado wrote about change:

Change. Had more than your share? Wishing you could freeze frame the video of your world? If you're looking for a place with no change, try a soda machine. With life comes change. With change comes fear, insecurity, sorrow, stress. So what do we do? Hibernate? Take no risks for fear of failing? Give no love for fear of losing? Some opt to. They hold back. A better idea is to look up. Set your bearings on the one and only North Star in the universe...God. For though life changes, He never does. In fact, scripture makes some pupil-popping claims about His permanence.

"For He is the living God, enduring forever; his kingdom shall never be destroyed, and his dominion shall be to the end. He delivers and rescues, He works signs and wonders in heaven and on earth... Daniel 6:26,27

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you." Jeremiah 31:3

These are powerful scriptures describing God's strength and love! When we think that the world is falling apart, God says He will be the final victor. HIS kingdom will never be destroyed. When we think nobody loves us, God's love is everlasting.

God likes to change things up on us now and then. It keeps us from straying too far because we think we have it all figured out. Sometimes we need to evaluate our life and make change happen. That comes from a prompting of the heart by God.

I can think of some things I need to change.

Can you?

Pay Attention

2010-09-12T07:58:00.000-07:00

Not only do we need to find time to be quiet and listen to God's voice, we also need to pay attention to what he is telling us through those quiet times and His Word. Paying attention to God's promptings and will for our lives helps us to continue down the right path even though it may look precarious.

Have you ever watched a movie where the main character is walking into a trap and YOU are yelling at the screen, "Don't go there! Why don't you see that is a trap?!" As the viewer, you probably have more information that the character on the screen. You can see the situation differently, therefore, you know the danger (or blessing) that is right around the corner.

Sometimes, when we are in the middle of a crisis, we can't see where it is taking us. Sometimes it is obvious who to listen to. Sometimes we pay attention to God's leading; sometimes we don't. It is frustrating when we can't see things clearly. How often have you wished for a crystal ball?

When you give your life to Christ, He becomes the director of your life. He may give you just enough information to direct you down the right path, but you have to pay attention to Him. You may not always like the direction, and sometimes you may be greatly surprised at the twists and turns of your life - but He is not surprised. God sees the bigger picture. He knows when to prompt us into another direction because of danger, or that our hurt is going to down the road be a blessing.

In the book of Jeremiah, King Zedekiah kept asking Jeremiah for God's counsel. Jeremiah would tell the King what direction God wanted him to go, but the King ignored it. How often are we asking for God's will, but then choose our own? How often do we plead for God to speak to us, but then ignore His voice?

I have written several times about the story of Daisy, who is ten years old, and her struggle with a tumor the size of a grapefruit in her stomach. Daisy and her family have seen many miracles through her journey. One miracle is that the tumor has shrunk enough to do surgery today (9/13). Pray, Pray, Pray... and check out http://prayfordaisy.com/

Daisy and her family remind me of what it means to pay attention to what God is saying. Even though they are on a journey that nobody would ever choose for themselves (or ever their child!), they have listened to God's voice through His Word, and they have stood firm in their faith. They are being obedient to God's will, and they have seen God at work in the most powerful way. God has equipped Daisy with strength that most adults don't understand.

You may think paying attention to God is hard work, but there is usually a voice or feeling deep inside of what is the right thing to do. Is the voice telling you to apologize, or forgive, or give up something that is not healthy? Is the voice saying be strong and wait, trust, and be a testimony for me? Pay attention to these voices, and always make sure your actions are backed by God's Word.

Does God have your attention?

Quiet!

2010-09-05T07:49:00.000-07:00

Do you have trouble finding time during your day to just think on God's Word, let alone pray?

I used to have it all figured out, until Stormy came along.

I have written about my loyal, sweet, timid, worry wart, Buddy. I have not written about the fur ball cat that came into my life this past year. We rescued Stormy from the local animal shelter, but I think he does not see it as a rescue so much as our privilege to own him.
(See pictures below)

Stormy is like unleashing a five year old boy into your beautiful home. He thinks couches are scratching posts, and anything that moves is for his folly. This includes your leg, hair on your head, anything that dangles, and the frightened little hamster in Michelle's room that Stormy likes to watch while hunched in a pounce position.

What does this have to do with my prayer life? Well, I used to have a great routine of waking up before everyone to read my Bible, some devotionals, and pray. As soon as Stormy hears the floor creak, he is following me all over the house. The other day I tried a bait and switch by giving him food downstairs and then running upstairs into my closet for some quiet time. He thought that was fun! It was like hide and seek time with Mom!

It really does not take a "Stormy" to ruin your quiet time with God (I really do love that big fluff). Our own brains do the job quite well sometimes. The "To Do List" for the day starts running through our brains from the time our eyes open in the morning. Busy thoughts that make us want to say, "Hi God, glad your here. Bless everyone. Love you. Bye!" Kind of sounds like my teenage daughter now that I think of it.

Most people don't know what they are missing if they have never had that intimate time with Father God. But, for those who have, it is no secret that the one on one time with the maker of the universe is the greatest privilege we have has believers. When we feast on God's Word, when we use devotions to apply God's Word to our daily lives, when we talk to the one who sacrificed His Son for us, it is like a drink of cold water when you are parched. It is like a warm blanket when you are cold. It is better than curling up your legs and sipping a coffee while visiting with a friend at Starbucks. Really, nothing can compare.

"As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God?" Psalm 42:1-2

These words were written by King David who wanted the Lord more than anything else. God's presence was better than food and water to him. I know that feeling, and I hope you do to. It usually comes in the middle of a life storm, but it shouldn't take a storm to thirst for God's presence in your life.

Jesus said, "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him." John 7:37-38

I want to drink deeply of all that God has for me! I want streams of living water to flow from within me! This week I am going to get a new routine going so that I don't cheat myself of my right to be in the presence of God. Jesus sacrifed His life for me to have that right, so I should value it more that I sometimes do.

I hope you take on this challenge to find a special moment in your morning to start your day off with God's wisdom and blessings. Pray this prayer with me:

Father God, I want to be in your presence every day. I long for more of you, and I know that only you can quench my thirst. I want streams of living water to flow in me and revive my soul. I also want your living water to flow out of me so that I can be a help to a dry and thirsty world.

Surviving a Tidal Wave

2010-08-29T08:08:00.000-07:00

At the end of last summer, I was feeling great. After a rough year of fighting pain, radiation, and minor surgery, I was finally at a good place where I was pain free and really thankful to God for bringing me out of those hard times. Scans had become fairly routine over the past two years, and so when I was scanned at the end of August, I did not give it a second thought.

On September 1, 2009, I went in to see my Oncologist, and she told me that the scans revealed that three tumors had developed on my liver. It was shocking news because I felt like I was really in a good place, physically, and I had only been on my new medication for five months. I was hoping I would get more than a year on that medication. How did this happen? Why was this happening?

The news was like a gigantic wave that knocked Jon and I off our feet. We were standing and admiring the view when we were broadsided. We sat there shaking the water off of our face wondering where that came from. Everything had been going so well.

I guess it should be no surprise to us by now that God has a very specific road He wants us to travel, and we need to just let him do the navigating. Letting go and trusting God through these hard times is not always an immediate response. People often think that Jon and I just bounce right into submission and peace. We go through the same anxiety and turmoil that others go through when they get bad news. Sometimes it takes days or weeks to regroup and get back to God's word and hand over our fear to Him. But, when we do put Jesus in the driver's seat, we end up taking a path that is beautiful and full of blessings.

It has been a year since that day, and the year has been full of blessings. We were blessed from the beginning to have an amazing group of friends who always come at a moment's notice to comfort us and take care of our needs. Meals, rides for kids, rides for me to chemo, supportive cards, phone calls, laughs... we are surrounded by love and support. Yes, losing my hair was hard at first, but it turned into a blessing of sorts. I have enjoyed my cool and trendy short hair!

The biggest blessing? That is easy! Healing!!!!
You can only imagine what it feels like to tell the story of liver lesions that are no more! I love reflecting on that moment of surprise. I love God's timing of gifting me with a wonderful, chemo free, summer!

As you have read, I took full advantage of my summer. Maybe a little too much fun because I have been experiencing back pain. Not only back pain, but joint pain. So prior to today, I have been a little worried about what my CT Scan would show. Since I have not been scanned since the beginning of summer, I worried that this new hormone blocker was working. Was I back to square one?

Today I met my new Oncologist, and got my test results and they were all favorable! PRAISE GOD! My CT Scan shows no cancer in liver or other internal organs, and the bone scan was stable (still lesions on spine, but I can live with that)! The aches and pains are one of those things that I will have to live with for now because it is a side effect of meds.

I am so thankful for all your prayers and support. I know God heard lots of whooping and hollering today! I think He was smiling and celebrating with us!

Love,
Sandy

2010-08-27T14:06:00.000-07:00

God is not a deceiver that He should offer to support us, and then, when we lean upon Him, should slip away from us. - Saint Augustine

A Fresh Start

2010-08-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

Today is the last day of summer for our family. The girls go back to school tomorrow. Michelle starts her final year of elementary school. After ten years of being at Oak Mesa, we now begin the year of doing things for the last time. Rachel starts high school and talks endlessly about friends, classes, and her social activities. It is an exciting time, but sad for Jon and I when we look back and see how fast time has gone. Before we know it, we will be looking at colleges and getting ready to send her off into the world. This is the beginning of starting to prepare her (and us) for letting go.

Wow! I'm really depressed now!

It has been a great three months filled with family, friends, and fun. The best part of my summer is that I was off chemo and could enjoy being with my family. Every day I lived the gift that God gave me before the summer began, and I made good use of that gift! I had tests done last week and will get the results back on 8/31. I am hoping that my achy joints and very tender back are a result of the medication and my having too much fun. I would be so grateful if you would bend God's ear a little on making these tests favorable so that I can keep enjoying this freedom from weekly chemo.

Fresh starts are always good. It feels good to have new shoes, new backpacks, new notebooks. When September rolls around, I always feel the need to do some deep cleaning of the house. I clean the pantry and tell myself that I won't let it get that bad this time around. It is good to be hopeful!

I am always glad to have the benefit of fresh starts with my relationship with God. In the summer I get a bit lazy in the morning and sometimes I rush through our conversations. I look forward to a new schedule and a fresh start with Him as well. Did you know that some of the fake Gods that are worshipped around the world are not forgiving? I need a God that forgives and is slow to anger. My relationship with God is like (but better) a good friend who you don't talk to for a long time and then you pick up a conversation as if no time had ever passed. That is our relationship. He knows my heart. I most definitely don't let more than a day go without making a connection with God. He is truly my lifeline and my biggest support. Everything I enjoy I owe to His love for me.

"Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, O house of Israel?" (Ezekiel 18:31)

As I read through the Bible, I am reminded of all the fresh starts the Israelites were given by God. This is how we know that God is ready to forgive us when we turn to Him with repentant hearts. We can study His relationship with a group of people that consistently fell away and was enticed by false idols. Yet, when they realized their error, God was forgiving and gracious to them. I read these things and say to myself, "why didn't THEY learn their lesson!" But, if I look at my own life, I do the same things. Sadly, we all have a sinful nature. I sometimes get in a situation where I should have kept my mouth shut. Later, I beat myself up and say, "don't you ever learn?"

Forgiveness and repentance are a huge part of our relationship with Christ. We all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23). Because we have this sinful nature, we need to sometimes ask God to reveal those hidden sins so that we can deal with them before the consequences are more serious. Jesus died to wipe our slate clean and make us heirs of the riches of God. Was it worth it for Him? Jesus would say, "YES!" when we come to Him and seek His forgiveness.

"For the wages of sin are death, but the gift of God is eternal life." (Romans 6:23)

If you are one that needs a fresh start, you might want to start with a renewed relationship with God. On Monday morning after the kids are off to school, I will be starting a new morning routine with God at the center. I am looking forward to talking (confession and prayer), listening(quiet), and praising (walk with Ipod).

Dear God,
I don't want my heart to ever wander away from you. Fill me with your love, and help me to not have any hard heartedness in me. Help me to recognize my sin so I can confess and be made clean. I don't want to live with regret over my words, thoughts, or actions. Thank you for fresh starts and your amazing kindness that is better than life. Amen

Sandy

God Came Near

2010-08-15T08:30:00.000-07:00

HOPE
by Max Lucado

It’s one of the most compelling narratives in all of Scripture. So fascinating is the scene, in fact, that Luke opted to record it in detail.

Two disciples are walking down the dusty road to the village of Emmaus. Their talk concerns the crucified Jesus. Their words come slowly, trudging in cadence with the dirge-like pace of their feet.

“I can hardly believe it. He’s gone.”

“What do we do now?”

“It’s Peter’s fault, he shouldn’t have … ”

Just then a stranger comes up from behind and says, “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help overhearing you. Who are you discussing?”

They stop and turn. Other travelers make their way around them as the three stand in silence. Finally one of them asks, “Where have you been the last few days? Haven’t you heard about Jesus of Nazareth?” And he continues to tell what has happened. (Luke 24:13-24)

This scene fascinates me—two sincere disciples telling how the last nail has been driven in Israel’s coffin. God, in disguise, listens patiently, his wounded hands buried deeply in his robe. He must have been touched at the faithfulness of this pair. Yet he also must have been a bit chagrined. He had just gone to hell and back to give heaven to earth, and these two were worried about the political situation of Israel.

“But we had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel.”

But we had hoped … How often have you heard a phrase like that?

“We were hoping the doctor would release him.”
“I had hoped to pass the exam.”
“We had hoped the surgery would get all the tumor.”
“I thought the job was in the bag.”

Words painted gray with disappointment. What we wanted didn’t come. What came, we didn’t want. The result? Shattered hope. The foundation of our world trembles.

We trudge up the road to Emmaus dragging our sandals in the dust, wondering what we did to deserve such a plight. “What kind of God would let me down like this?”

And yet, so tear-filled are our eyes and so limited is our perspective that God could be the fellow walking next to us and we wouldn’t know it.

You see, the problem with our two heavy-hearted friends was not a lack of faith, but a lack of vision. Their petitions were limited to what they could imagine—an earthly kingdom. Had God answered their prayer, had he granted their hope, the Seven-Day War would have started two thousand years earlier and Jesus would have spent the next forty years training his apostles to be cabinet members. You have to wonder if God’s most merciful act is his refusal to answer some of our prayers.

We are not much different than burdened travelers, are we? We roll in the mud of self-pity in the very shadow of the cross. We piously ask for his will and then have the audacity to pout if everything doesn’t go our way. If we would just remember the heavenly body that awaits us, we’d stop complaining that he hasn’t healed this earthly one.

Our problem is not so much that God doesn’t give us what we hope for as it is that we don’t know the right thing for which to hope. (You may want to read that sentence again.)

Hope is not what you expect; it is what you would never dream. It is a wild, improbable tale with a pinch-me-I’m-dreaming ending. It’s Abraham adjusting his bifocals so he can see not his grandson, but his son. It’s Moses standing in the promised land not with Aaron or Miriam at his side, but with Elijah and the transfigured Christ. It’s Zechariah left speechless at the sight of his wife Elizabeth, gray-headed and pregnant. And it is the two Emmaus-bound pilgrims reaching out to take a piece of bread only to see that the hands from which it is offered are pierced.

Hope is not a granted wish or a favor performed; no, it is far greater than that. It is a zany, unpredictable dependence on a God who loves to surprise us out of our socks and be there in the flesh to see our reaction.

From God Came Near: Chronicles of the Christ
Copyright (Thomas Nelson, 1985, 2004) Max Lucado

P.S. I updated my sidebar journey so check it out!

There Is No Other God Like This!

2010-08-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

I am reading through the Bible this year, and this morning I got to the great story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and their devotion to God. When reading this story, I feel like a child who says, "Tell it to me again!" Do you remember reading a particular story to your kids 100+ times? For Rachel it was "Madeline", for Michelle it was "Dr. Dolittle and the Pirates."

I encourage you to read in the Old Testament the 2nd & 3rd chapters from the book of Daniel. You will be swept up in the story like I always am! I will give a brief overview, but nothing like the actual Word of God. Second to the Word of God is the Veggie Tale version of the story, you will laugh your head off!

King Nebuchadnezzar has a disturbing dream, and nobody on his staff can interpret it. Someone recommends Daniel, who is a Jew being held captive in Babylon. Daniel interprets the dream along with his three friends ( I will now refer to them as S,M&A). The king is very appreciative and thinks God is awesome, but has short term memory and later builds a gold statue of himself and wants everyone to bow down before it. S,M&A (Daniel too, but that is a different story) refuse to bow down to any idol, so the King throws them into a furnace. The King is so mad he has the furnace cranked up extra hot! S,M&A are thrown in with clothes and all, and the King stands at a distance and looks in. To his amazement, he sees FOUR people in there and they are not burning!! The King tells them to come out, and to his surprise these men don't have a single hair our of place and don't even smell like smoke. The King praises God and says one of my favorite lines, "There is no other god who can rescue like this!"

Those are mighty words because we all have a lot that we need to be rescued from! There is so much pain, injustice, disappointment, and sickness in this world we can't even begin to imagine how it will ever get better. God's Word says that he will someday wipe all tears from our eyes. We can only trust that God is in control and that time for Him is not the same as it is for us. God will have the final word, and for those who know Him and call Him by name, He is the only God that can save.

I can give a first hand account of how God can rescue from anxiety, fear, and illness. When I look at what has happened over the past three years in my life, I am humbled and in awe over what God has done. I have been blessed to be in the care of brilliant doctors and have great technology and treatment, but the best moments have come from God. When God rescues me, or even better, someone else from despair, there is an elation that is like no other. When you feel God's presence in the dark times, that is when you are truly seeing Him and know the characteristics that make Him like no other God (actually, there is no other God, just empty idols).

If you are running dry and need to be reminded of how God works, read Daniel 2&3, or reflect back on the times that seemed impossible but God brought you through.

We can do everything through Him because He gives us strength. Phil 4:11

God Bless,
Sandy
.

Sandy's Journey of Faith

Not Perfect, But Purposeful

Starting the Year Out Right

Answered Prayer

Welcome 2012

Reflections of 2011

Seeking the Savior - Max Lucado

Seeking the Savior

The Greatest Gift

What a Difference a Year Makes

Divine Gifts by Max Lucado

7 Ways to Give Thanks

Is My Sin Too Great?

So Much to be Thankful For

The Sneaky One

Problems Have a Purpose - By Max Lucado

Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory. Psalm 50:15 NLT

A Very Uplifting and Powerful Reason to Believe

A Crazy Time, But Loving It!

What If The Answer Was No?

The Traveler's Gift

Time

Lord, Make Me!

Where was God on 9/11?

Heavenly Thoughts

Healing of the Soul

Fear of Doubt

A Summer Inventory

True Beauty

Road Trip 2011

Fearless

God is Jealous

Founded on the Word of God

Staying Within the Lines

The Father's in My Life

Mercy

My Testimony at Glenkirk

A Busy Week

The End is Near

God Has the Night Watch

Growing Up

Mother's Day 2011

Life's Tornadoes

Mary Magdalene

The Lamb of God

Celebrating Four Years

A Whale of a Tale

Hinds' Feet On High Places

The Family of God

Love God, and Love Your Neighbor

Jesus Wants to Clean Us Up

Called to Suffer

Learning About Prayer

Noah's Ark

When Sorrows Like Sea Bellow Roll

Psalm 18

Seeing Isn't Believing

God Hears Our Prayers!

By the Grace of God, I Am What I Am

Don't Let Satan Hack You!

Collateral Damage

Lemonade

God's Creation

Lead Me to the Rock

The Big and the Small

Welcoming 2011

Feeling Very Optimistic!

Prayer Request

The Greatest Gift of All

My 17 Days of Christmas

Home

Hospital

Triage Unit

Update

So Sick

The Restraining Order is Issued

The Journey Continues

Count Your Blessings...

The Christmas Season is Here!

A Part of the Puzzle

Trust me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory.
Psalm 50:15 NLT